Not Leaving It At 'No'

I had a retched run-in with a family member tonight.
It was painful and hurtful and ugly.

I cried in my room (something I do infrequently...cry)
Sir was helpful and supportive.

I asked if I could take time and just stay in my room.
I did so and then got kids to bed.
I then told Sir I was going to bed.

He came up a while later.
While I was in bed, laying on my stomach, I wasn't asleep.

He pulled the covers off of me, exposing my ass.
I roll over, immediately and say "no."

He raises his eyebrow.
"Roll back over, fiona." he says quietly.
It's not a request as much as a command.

I'm just out of sorts.  I'm NOT in that head space.
I'm sad and hurt and just NOT.
Unlike times in the past, where I have pushed, I roll back over.

He touches my ass - all of it...feeling, grabbing, rubbing.
He smacks my ass several times and then pulls up on my hips a bit
"raise up for me, fiona, and keep it there."

I raise up.
He starts to get ready for bed, brushing his teeth,
With the toothbrush in his hand, he walks back over and
with his free hand, spanks me, then rubs me.

He leaves, I hear him go to the bathroom, wash his hands...
as I wait on the bed with my ass in the air.
He walks back out and spanks me then rubs.

He's touching me so much, rubbing so much,
soothing, connecting, comforting, taking.

He leaves and gets things out for the morning.
He then comes back and this time, he's got his belt.

He whips my ass thoroughly, and I'm so hot and wet and
so in the moment, so present to him, to us.

We play, we fuck, he shows me porn snippets, we talk.

He didn't abandon me, leave me to my thoughts.
He finds pleasure for both of us.
He doesn't let me wallow.  He talks to me, yes.
He doesn't use D/s or spanking or sex to gloss over my night.
But he doesn't let me pull away.
He doesn't leave it at no.