Switched On

 Well, as the saying goes....

The more things change.....the more they stay the same.

So we're still going strong.  We're still madly - deeply - passionately in love

We're still happy and healthy

We're still living our best lives and thriving - in spite of INSANE stress, a pandemic and general insanity.

BUT....we've switched things up for a little while.  I've created a new blog for my sweet husband....it's called "Madam Appolonia Switched On"....I'll go by MadApp there - and my sweet husband will be my darling boy for a while.  He needs to be submissive.  He wants to be submissive.  He needs some guidance, some leadership, some care and dominance.  I have a dominant/sadistic streak and have dug in.  

You can follow us being us on his blog :). 

madappswitchedon.blogspot.com 

Blogger

OK...so many have written about the blogger policy change.  So here are my questions.

1.  Should I wait and see if they really change my site to private?
2.  It says ..."We'll still allow nudity presented in artistic, educational, documentary, or scientific contexts, or where there are other substantial benefits to the public from not taking action on the content."
documentary means "using pictures or interviews with people involved in real events to provide a factual record or report."...well, mine is a documentary...it's true information about MY life.  So...will that count?
3.  Should I simply move to WordPress?


Well...thoughts?




Original blogger email:

Dear Blogger User,

We're writing to tell you about an upcoming change to the Blogger Content Policy that may affect your account.

In the coming weeks, we'll no longer allow blogs that contain sexually explicit or graphic nude images or video. We'll still allow nudity presented in artistic, educational, documentary, or scientific contexts, or where there are other substantial benefits to the public from not taking action on the content.

The new policy will go into effect on the 23rd of March 2015. After this policy goes into effect, Google will restrict access to any blog identified as being in violation of our revised policy. No content will be deleted, but only blog authors and those with whom they have expressly shared the blog will be able to see the content we've made private.

Our records indicate that your account may be affected by this policy change. Please refrain from creating new content that would violate this policy. Also, we ask that you make any necessary changes to your existing blog to comply as soon as possible, so that you won't experience any interruptions in service. You may also choose to create an archive of your content via Google Takeout (https://www.google.com/settings/takeout/custom/blogger).

For more information, please read here (https://support.google.com/blogger?p=policy_update).

Sincerely,
The Blogger Team

Recalibration

So blogland is a funny place…

a fascinating place

a liberating place.

…and blogland friends are

special.

The friends I have made
my virtual friends
have been special.

It's liberating to have friends
where we can share…

We can share anything…
everything.

I feel like I have gotten closer 
in a shorter amount of time
than I typically would.

But that also means 
that when my virtual friends disappear
or go dark,

the loss is so much more profound.

It's rough and so makes such an impact.  

Now, I've been a fairly absentee blogger
as of late.

Life has gotten in the way…

thank God not in the way of sex…
just in the way of reporting it.

So….

I also need to recalibrate…
To remember that this is for me…
that this is fun…

and to not take things too seriously.
Not get too involved
not put too much on it
and to not get too invested

A Dom and Three Subs and The Gift Of Sharing

OK…so it's been a week since I was 

with sofia and nilla.  

Wow… seems like so much longer.  

Vanilla life just takes over!

Well…I had a couple of memories I wanted to 

capture so I can go back and remember…later.

So, Saturday night (last Saturday night)

after we had been to the music festival all day,

we got dinner from an off-the-chain-amazing restaurant

and brought it home to eat.

We sat in the kitchen and checked in with our families,

brewed some tea (oh…nilla is a total tea aficionado!)

and chilled out for a bit.

When sofia's Sir came home, 

we all got our food and sat at the dining room table

and ate a great meal.

We also commenced an evening of wonderful conversation.

It is so refreshing liberating to be able to 

discuss…uninhibited, unfiltered, all in.

Well, I was probably more "all-in" than

sofia's Sir would have really wanted…

but he kindly didn't kick me out…

though there was discussion about the fact

that he only had two tethers and three sub missives

sleeping in his house!

So we had deep, meaningful conversations,

we discussed the world,

we discussed our children,

we discussed schools 

   (of which I have differing opinions/experiences than sofia and nilla)

we discussed our blogs

we discussed spankings and marks

we discussed the kink community

   which I found fascinating, because I'm not active (have never been)

   in the community outside of blogland.

we discussed that mother-fucking-brush

   sofia's Sir had no idea that was so dastardly…or why ;)

   sofia shook her head … A LOT.

We laughed and laughed…

   there were sexual and kinky innuendos flying!

It was the most fabulous evening's conversation…

just never having to catch yourself and not share…

never to change verbiage to cover your submission

   (or His Dominance)

At the end of the night, we all said goodnight 

and went to our respective beds.

nilla and I talked a bit more,

once dressed for sleep,

while nilla brushed and braided her hair.

I laughed…and brought out my brush…

I have a wooden version of the 

mother-fucking-brush that Sir uses for 

holy-hell-that-hurts spankings.

I showed her the brush and 

we looked at the brush she was using to brush her hair.

They are the same shape and size,

but hers is the injection-molded-plastic

and mine was wooden.

I told her that the injection-molded one is the one that hurts,

mine, while being the same shape and size, was more thuddy…less stingy.

She held out her arm and 

I took both brushes and smacked them against her arm.

Indeed…she agreed…that mother-fucking-brush stings!!!!

Then we got the brilliant idea 

(Can't remember weather it was nilla's or mine)

to take them upstairs and show them to 

sofia's Sir so he could see, 

first hand,

what we were talking about.

So we rushed…like silly school girls,

with the hair brushes to show him.

sofia was LESS THAN GRATEFUL!

her Sir tried them out on his thigh and 

thought about them and seemed grateful to see them ;)

The whole experience was very funny to me.

When I got up ridiculously early to leave,

actually waking up before my alarm clock (yikes),

I dressed quietly and went upstairs to use the bathroom.

As I walked to the stairs,

I notice the crop hanging on a door handle…

which combined with the hooks in the ceiling that 

I had noticed the night before

put a smile on my face.

I went up to the bathroom and when

I entered the hallway…what did I see?

sofia' tether with a long rope leading to 

her bedroom door … that was closed.

sofia's Sir made the most exquisite tether…

the rope work is gorgeous!

I gathered my things and as I crept to the front door,

I thought about what a gift blogging has been,

Virtual and Online/IRL friends have been.

I let the cat inside so hopefully sofia could sleep a bit more

and walked to my car and 

began the long drive home. 

New Blood

OK…

Well, I was looking through my blogroll
to find newer blogs that I enjoy
to nominate for the Liebster Award

AND

I realized that my blogroll is
OLD
and there are a LOT
of blogs that are no longer blogging.

AND I have not got a lot of new blogs to read.

I think it is because I haven't been as active of late

BUT,
I'd like your help.

IF YOU HAVE A NEW BLOG…
and I haven't commented on it ….
probably means that I don't know about it.

PLEASE COMMENT here and let me know.

IF you know of a fabulous new blog,
PLEASE COMMENT here and let me know.

I appreciate your help!!

Lunch

My afternoon was…

so many things.

For me, in a word, it was renewing.

I laughed,
I thought,
I listened,
I talked
(I did not boss too much - yea!)
I was entertained,
I was inspired,
I was intrigued,
I was embarrassed,
I was comfortable,
I was content.

I started out with hugs for sofia and her Sir
then met sofia's Sir's family
and their beautiful, darling, amazing new members of the human race.

Oh…they are very, very cute!

those little grunts and stretches
those ridiculously itty-bitty fingers
and a mama who is beaming, deservedly so.

Then…

We went to lunch, sofia, sofia's Sir, and me.
sofia rode with me and we followed her Sir.
I paid absolutely no attention to where I was going,
it was nice to just follow… ;)

We sat at a booth and talked for…
a looooong time.

I had planned on a couple of hours and
it snuck into three hours…
and I could have stayed and talked for much longer.

We told stories,
shared histories,
and solved the worlds problems.

sofia's Sir did tell me about her birthday…
and it starting with her spanking.
sofia turned fire-engine-red and she covered her face.

We also delved into the topic of a dungeon
in a town that we have all been to (the town not the dungeon,
only her Sir had been to the dungeon).

I loved that we could delve into kink and vanilla alternately
with no awkwardness.
What a gift!

What was most wonderful was to see how her Sir
talked about her.
At one point sofia went to the bathroom and
he waxed poetic about what she does and who she is.
He was very clearly proud of her.
It was so … really inspiring.

Three hours was fabulous and about 18 hours too short!

After I got home…I texted sofia…
"why didn't we take a picture???"

UGH - sorry :(

sofia is comfortable, supportive, content, easy
(no…not THAT easy) easy to get along with and be around.

Thanks again for lunch sofia (and your Sir),
and thanks for your friendship!

Blog-a-versary

Today is my 176th post

AND

One Year Blog-a-versary!

Never in my life have I ever come close to keeping a journal for even a few months.
I am amazed and mystified at blogland and what I have found here.

I have found friendship.  True friendship.

I have found sisters and brothers among you who I consider closer than my closest vanilla friends.

I have found support and kindness.

I have found some heartbreak with blog-friendships gone awry.

I have found release and freedom from being able to share a side of me that I've not been able to before.




I have not been around blog land for the past couple of weeks.
I have had a great deal of change in my personal life and found great sadness and loss.
(Sir Q and I are doing just fine as are our progeny)

I am currently feeling quite broken.
I hope to heal and to be back shortly.
I just need time to be sad and to morn.

My thanks to all of you who read.
My abundant appreciation to those who have commented over the past year.
My love to my friends here in blogland.

Lurkers, Commenters and You

I have updated my blog to include an "about" tab.  At the end of it, I put this blurb.


       You may always ask questions or send me e-mail at 
       SirQsmlb@gmail.com.  


       You see, the conversation matters to me.  
       I have found friendship on the web.  
       I have found answers from other bloggers, 
       both prior to me blogging and after.  

       I have asked such mundane questions as...
       "what have you found to be the best method of bikini hair removal" 

       to kinky questions like... 
       "what's the best toy for ______" 

       to lifestyle questions like... 
       "how do you prepare your body for ______".  

       I have learned and grown as a person, as a submissive and as a wife              because of the give and take of blogland. 

       So please, feel free to join in my conversation!  

       I will always try to answer questions and comments.


So that is the thing.  I wanted to say thank you to all those who read.  
THANK YOU

I wanted to say thank you to those who have shared their lives and insights with me through blogs and emails.  I've enjoyed the shared experience.  I have learned a great deal and found affirmation along the way.
THANK YOU

I wanted to say a HUGE thank you to those who have taken the time to comment along the way.  That has been the biggest plus in blogging for me.  It's a relationship.  It's a conversation.  I know when I made my first comment, I himmed-and-hawwed for forever...it was such a huge deal.  It was a huge plunge to comment.  For those who have commented here...
THANK YOU

I will ALWAYS endeavor to respond and if for some strange chance I don't, it's because of an oversight.  I intend to respond to ALL comments as long as I am blogging.  

Blogging and blog reading has been a grand experience for me, one I hope to continue for a long time to come
(we'll see...this blog has been up for just shy of 10 months and that is 9 months longer than I have EVER journaled or written before!!!)

Short Circuited

After I posted Setting the Scene, there were several comments about my next post.  

Um, well, see...I didn't have one.  

I simply had a clear picture of what I did before I was short circuited. 

(this is what happens when I don't take notes)

So, I thought I would post what my memories are of the rest of the scene...

(or the small amount that I can remember).

Reading Help

Help, Google Reader is going away!

I have been using Google Reader as the main way that I read blog posts.  They feed in automatically.  It's easy and works like a charm.  I use it on my iPhone as well as on my computer.

BUT, Google is shutting it down.

1. What do you all use to read your blogs?  
2. How do you followup on comments you have left?
3. What do you like/dislike about your tool?  

Thanks for your help!!

New Year's Affirmation

I was quietly laying in bed with Sir last night.  The house is dark and quiet.  The quilt and comforter lay heavily atop us, swaddling us in warmth.  My Sir has me tucked into his side, my head raising and falling on his chest and my hand gently enveloping his cock and balls.  He pulls his hand up and is stroking my hair.  I feel so safe, warm, loved, comforted....content.

"With the holidays and traveling, it feels like I have lost some of my submission.  I miss it." I confess in a whisper.  I love when it is dark and we are snuggled and it feels like I can say anything.  It's not like I hold back, typically, but in this scenario, cloaked in darkness and safe in his arms, I don't feel embarrassed about anything.

"Well, this past year has been your year of submission, hasn't it fiona?"

My hard stops.  I am terrified.  Does he mean that we're done?  Does he want out?  Is he done with TTWD?  I've finally become confident in my position, in my desire, in my place.

Crap, Shit, Fuck.  I sit up - criss-cross my legs and look at him...Yes, it's dark, so I can only see an outline.  I'm holding my breath.

"Hasn't it, fiona?"  he repeats.

Breathe, breathe fiona - I tell myself.
"But I don't want it to end.  I was just saying that i missed it.  I have missed sitting at your feet, putting on your shoes, I have missed being spanked - Oh, God have I missed being spanked.  I know it hasn't been that long, but I have MISSED being demonstrably submissive to you." I say with a strong voice.

"I've missed it too, fiona.  I like you being a good girl.  I love you being my good little girl."  he replies.  Oh thank heavens.  Really!  OH THANK HEAVENS!!

It seems poignant that this conversation happens when it does.  It happens just before the new year and it served to reaffirms our places, it reaffirms our desires, it reaffirms our roles.

Last night and today, Sir has put his hand (and brush) where his mouth was...he has begun the spankings and I am feeling better.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have gone through so many emotions in this past year.  I have felt...

...ashamed that I liked to be spanked
...nervous about wanting to be submissive all the time
...insecure about my ability to please him.
...selfish for wanting to always be submissive (remember we had been life long switches)
...vulnerable for vocalizing my deepest desires and accepting them as part of me
...satisfied that I was doing a good job when I did as I was told
...content to follow his directions, even in humiliation or sexual scenes which pushed my boundaries
...free and whole being a submissive to his Dominant
...excited-as-hell to be His
...happy to be able to accept my submissive, spanko, kinky desires
...horny, wanton, slutty... oh I've felt those too.

I am grateful for this year.  I am grateful for this blog.  Without Conina's encouragement, I would never have started this blog.  Thank you. I have blossoming friendships with a couple of blogland folks and am grateful for those.  They make my life much more complete.  I am grateful for you!  I have learned so much and been provoked into meaningful introspection by my reading of the wonderful blogs out there.  Thank you for allowing me to join in your journeys.  Most surprisingly, I have grown to really love the "conversation" that I am able to have with y'all who comment.  It means more to me than you know.

Happy New Year my kinky blogland friends.  I wish you and yours a New Year with ENOUGH!

fiona

Thanks for the Conversation

I love that I get to have a conversation every day, every few days, every week or two with the bloggers on my blogroll.  That's the way I feel about it.  We have a conversation.  I share what's happening in my life (albeit often my sex-life).  I read about what's happening in yours.  I leave comments on your blogs and you comment back and vice-versa.  It's a conversation among friends.

I never thought I would find a community like this.  I never thought I would fit into an online blogging community.  I have read for a while, commented for a bit and am a baby-blogger.  None of these were things I thought would be things that I did.  And yet, I find myself enjoying and feeling "nourished" by the online community that I belong to.

So I wanted to say THANK YOU.  Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your conversation, a part of your life.  But just as importantly, THANK YOU for being a part of mine.

THE dildo

My Sir doesn't read my blog on his own, yet (I hope he will at some point).  If I pull it up and put it in front of him, then he reads it.  He hasn't been unhappy about anything he's seen yet (I hope he never is).  I just hate to feel like I am bothering him with my blog if he doesn't think of it or ask for it on his own.

So after I published the last one, I told him what the title was (Puppet Orgasmed To Tears).  "Hmh," he said.  "I thought you would have blogged about last night with the dildo."

"Oh - ya."  SHIT - how did I forget about that?

      okay - so in my defense, I didn't forget...I simply hadn't taken any notes and so...

...so, I don't remember everything.   What I know is...

• I was spanked with his hand.  I was over his lap on our bed.  It was ... invigorating.
• I gave him a blow job.  It was .... (I have no idea).
• I find myself laying next to him, head by his knees and feet by his head
• He says, "Get THE dildo."
• I clearly remember thinking, "SHIT, FUCK!  No not that..Yes I want that... No" 
• Side note...THE dildo is unique among our dildos because it is HUGE.
• I bring it back and he positions me beside him so my head is by his knees, feed by his head.
• He butterflies my legs and inserts THE dildo and I felt so embarrassed.
• He FUCKS me silly with THE dildo and I have NO idea how many orgasms I had....but it was over six.
• As he's starting his last onslaught, he says, "Do you imagine some other guy fucking you when I do this, fiona?"  WHAT???  OMG NO!!!

So...odd post (this is what happens with no little notes).  But I also know that I felt sore and swollen and particularly sensitive all the next day.  I am a lucky girl!

A Blog For A Flog

I started this blog with the blessing of Sir.  I showed him the blog prior to any content being written.  I asked if he wanted to view any posts before I published them, to which he said, "No." So I have published a few posts - and I had told him that I had done them.  He had said that he wanted to read them, but then life happened.  He promised to read it yesterday when we came home.  We came home from running errands and he immediately started watching a game on TV.  I did not want to nag him, but I was very frustrated.  I huffed, I sulked, I was irritated and disappointed.  When I realized that I was being petulant, I walked over to him, knelt before him, placed my head on his lap and said I was sorry.  I immediately felt my submission and knew that was where I was supposed to be.  He stroked my head and held it to him.  When I began to get up, he held me in place and my stomach dropped.  He wasn't ignoring me, he was doing what HE wanted to do, when HE wanted to do it.  When the game ended, he turned off the TV and simply said, "Bed, now" and pointed.

I stood up and as I started walking, he told me to get the computer and the flogger.

As I came into our room, I set the computer in the middle of the bed and went to get the flogger.  I came in, he held out his hand, took the flogger and he told me to 'assume the position.'  Now I know when he has a spanking implement, that 'position' he refers to is me, naked, bent over the side of the bed.  He lay in the middle of the bed with me over the side behind him.  He was ignoring me - again!  Argh.

He was quietly looking at the computer and I couldn't see him, see his face, tell what he was thinking.  I was sooo nervous, worried, embarrassed, uncertain, anxious.  Oh why did I think I could start a blog.  Why did I think this was a good idea.  What was I thinking?  I close my eyes and focus on my breathing in an effort to calm my nerves.

He shuts the computer screen, gets off the bed and walks around.  He tells me to give him my hand.  Is he going to hit my hand?  Is he unhappy?  Did he find it displeasing?

ZZZZZ   He unzips his pants?

He places his very hard cock in my hand and says, "I like what you wrote."

He liked it?  OH - he like it!

He steps away from my hand and then OUWW!  I forgot he had the flogger.  He doesn't warm up, he simply flogs - VERY HARD over my ass. It is very thuddy.  My breathing is picking up, moaning more while he's getting harder with each swing.  It's almost like he is flogging something two feet on the other side of my ass.  WOW breathe it's breathe intense breathe.  I'm breathing harder, my head is beginning to get fuzzy.

"Spread your legs. NOW," he says and begins to flog my thighs and OH - my pussy.  Wow - the flogger is wrapping around.  OH OH - it's hitting, Aaahhh - it hit my clit.  My breathing is so fast - all I hear is keening and panting - from me!

"Roll over and get up on my bed," he says - still flogging my legs.  Keeping my eyes closed, I roll over onto my back and scoot, very ungracefully, to the middle of the bed.  Without missing a beat he continues to flog me.  He's flogging my stomach, my breasts.  The falls land on my nipples and I can feel them hardening even further.  Ahhh - how I love to have my breasts flogged.

He is still clothed, and I am naked.  My skin is so sensitized.  He mounts me and his clothes feel so abrasive.  He fucks - hard, slamming into me.  Oh his cock is so hard and - AAHH.  With one hand he cups my breast and then pulls at my nipple.  He rolls and twists as he pumping into me.  Just as he pinches very hard, I open my eyes WIDE with a Holy Hell sort of look.  He grabs the back of my neck and spins me so he is under me and pulls my ear to his mouth.  With his free hand he pushes me down onto him and he pumps up to make an sound impact.

"Tell me," he says.  I'm breathing so hard and feeling overwhelmed with sensation.

"TELL ME!"  he says.  Oh he's talking to me!

He's holding my head in place and spanking my ass with his free hand.  What on EARTH is he talking about?  He does this sometimes and I have NO idea how to form a single coherent thought, let alone what I should be thinking about telling him.

"Tell me what you are!"  -  spank
"TELL ME" - Spank SPANK

breathe, fiona.  breathe.  Shit, no,  I mean speak fiona.  Speak!

I whisper, "yours" on an exhale.

"What are you??"

"Yours," I say in a whisper, but with a little more intent.

"Good Girl," he says then continues with a growl,  "you are MINE!"

With that, I arch my back and scream, throwing my head, he releases my hair and I cum.  I can feel my pussy clenching around his cock.  He must be able to feel it pulsing too, because he cums - loudly.  There is very little that is more amazing than hearing Sir cum LOUDLY.

I feel his cock pulsing in answer to my pussy.

He grabs my back and holds me to him.

"I love you," I say to him.  "I love you too - and fiona, you are MINE!" he repeats.   In response to his statement, I roll off, bend over and clean his beautiful, hard cock with my mouth - affirming that indeed,
I AM HIS!

oh - and he LIKED my blog (YEA!!)