Kinky Vanilla

Well, I read a post by Kitty about Vanilla Sex.  Her post made me thing about vanilla in my life.

Sir and I had PLENTY of vanilla sex in our 20+ years.  We've always had a great sex life...sleeping together (in the biblical sense), typically, 3-4 times a week.  We've been best friends from our first night together.  No, there was no sex that night...just talking.  ALL night.  We saw sunset and sunrise.  We've made love in many positions and gone to sleep sated, happy, and connected.  There was nothing wrong with our vanilla sex life.

My First Pair of Handcuffs

With all that said, we started with kink in our relationship, to some degree, but never named it as kink.  Within the first few months of sleeping together, we spanked.  I loved being spanked.  I can't remember the first dildo that he bought or the first vibe, but I've had them a long time.  I purchased our first pair of handcuffs and gave them to him as a gift over 20 years ago.  They weren't the pink fuzzy ones, they were metal police type cuffs and oh, was I in!  I have loved bondage and rarely, if ever, get my fill.  We've had crops and floggers and clamps...you get the idea.

We've had kink AND vanilla for as long as we've had us.  But the vanilla has historically been along side the kink, some nights this and some nights that.  As I have blogged before, our kink became more focused a little over a year ago.  Where we had been forever switches, we became D/s with sole-positions of D and s.  So for a year we've been settling into our roles.  As the months go by, the vanilla seems to appear less and less in our sex-life.  Now-a-days, the periodic blow job instead of a face fucking - meaning no hands in my hair, no loss of control, no force, is the closest we typically get to vanilla sex.

I have tried to initiate making love to my husband a couple of times.  We typically evolve into D/s - where I am clearly giving my power over and he is clearly taking my power and HE is in charge.

So I sit here, typing this post and am contemplating where we are.
       Do I miss it? 
              Do I miss the vanilla?  
       Am I not making love when we are sleeping together with our D/s in full view?  
Do we not connect on the same level when there are the trappings of bondage, toys, spankings?

I am LOVING my kink.  I don't miss the vanilla in my sex-life.  I do not miss it, because
       

I have vanilla inside my kink.  

• From each tender kiss to every loving spank.  
• From each sappy phone conversation that begins with an equally husband-specified sappy ring-tone to each tug, bite and clamp of my nipple. 
• From each snuggle, spooning close at night to each flog as his hand rests strong and sure against my back.  
• From each dinner conversation and parenting moment to every whisper of ownership in my ear.  

I love my kink AND I love the vanilla that lives within...

and I don't feel incomplete at all.