Thursday, November 6, 2014

Broken

We're kinda broken. 

Physically

Emotionally 

Sexually 

Broken. 

Sir has been sick
We are struggling with 
Stress
Grief
Stress
Issues with our home
Stress
Issues at work
Stress
Issues with our children
Stress

And looming largest

Grief

And we aren't able to connect sexually

At
All!!

Because he's been ill, 
we haven't kissed
Because of my emotional devastation,
we haven't had any kink
Hell we have hardly had any sex at all

And this isolation is adding to the stress. 

But we can't seem to reset. 

Tonight I asked to be spanked and in the middle - we had a mishap and then I burst into tears. 

It's feeling overwhelming and hopeless. 

I know it's not. 

This too shall pass. 

But damn!
I'm stressed 
And BROKEN!

15 comments:

  1. Hugs and more hugs. I have been thinking about you a lot lately, but have not wanted to intrude. Illness, grief, exhaustion...all add to everyday stress in a big way. Those tears were a kind of release. Grief is unpredictable, i know that too well lately, but it very slowly gets easier. More hugs and prayers..
    abby

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  2. I'm sorry. Hugs. I know it will get better, though, because things do.

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  3. So sorry, I know it's a platitude but things will get better - My hopes for you is that it is sooner rather than later.

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  4. So sorry. It will get better, Hang in there.

    Love and hugs,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  5. I'm so sorry Fiona. It really sucks to be in that place where nothing is working and life is overwhelming. Sending positive energy your way.

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  6. You're not broken. You're grieving and it's a little like an illness, an emotional illness that you need to allow yourself to heal from. Give yourself time, don't force the D/s stuff if you and he aren't mentally and/or physically up to it- it'll be there to pick back up when you're both ready. Focus on taking good care of yourself, being kind to yourself and letting yourself heal (and giving him time to get over being sick as well). Give yourself permission to quit stressing over the lack of sex and/or D/s stuff and have faith that it will all be there to pick back up as soon as you both are healed up and feeling better.

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  7. Sorry life is sucky right now. It's been gong around in a big way. Hang in there--things will cycle back up.

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  8. (((HUGS))) and I wish I do more than that for you.

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  9. I wish there was something I could say or do, but I'm sending lots of happy thoughts and hugs!

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  10. i'm so sorry - sending lots of love and hugs... and you know how to reach me if you wanna chat...

    {{{{HUG}}}}

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  11. I'm so sorry that you've been through hell (and hopefully making your way back. I've been a bad friend and been absent and I should have seen this sooner. I'm sending you hugs and whammies that you find your mojo again--grief steals so much from us, dammit. You'll recover, eventually, (I hate knowing that, hate saying it, hate when it happens. Sometimes you just want to be sad forever)...but you will get up and one day ...things will be easier. And being ill in the middle of alllllll that other stuff is so difficult. Know that I love you --and that I'm thinking of you, and sending prayers of light and healing to you both...

    nilla the jerky friend

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  12. Please forgive mouse for not checking in sooner.

    Thinking of you!

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  13. Thank you all for commenting. I am so sorry I did not personally respond to all of your comments. I promise todo better. I do appreciate all of your support and encouragement.

    hugs,
    fiona

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Thank you very much for sharing your comments. This blogland world has become so much more meaningful because of the conversations that y'all have with me through comments...REALLY!

I appreciate them all and will endeavor to answer EVERY comment if at all possible!

THANK YOU
-fiona