Instructions

So, Sir gives me lists … with some frequency.

Generally they include 
!!!!!
(which means I must masturbate and report)

Well, this week, I followed my instructions.
I spent some time and watched some porn

ya, it's a guilty pleasure

Then when seriously primed…
I had a fabulous cum.

Then I took a shower and 
shaved.

He's commented several times
that he can't wait until my GYN appointment
so that I can shave…
He likes me bare.

I am unwilling to go to the GYN bare…
especially when I struggle with ingrown hairs…
(ya, I know, TMI - funny that I don't mind telling y'all
about floggings and canings and spankings and fuckings,
but ingrown hairs…ugh)

ANYWAY

I shaved, leaving a nice landing strip :)

Sir came home early.
He walked me into the closet 
and turned me around and
Took off my bra, bent me over
and spanked me

His hand reached around me
and touched myHis pussy

He fingered me and made me cum
"Push against my fingers, fiona."
he commanded…and I came again,
but this time I squirted … huge.

As his fingers left His pussy,
my juices literally running down my legs,
He moved his hands to tortured myHis nipples

He laid me on the bed,
handed me the vibrator and
Commanded me to masturbate
naked and exposed on the bed.

He told to dress in a skirt and no panties
No bra

I asked if I could wear my cupless bra
…it gives him access like he wants
and me less saggy breasts, like I want :)

He said Yes!

So after cumming, yet again,
I quickly dawned and flirty skirt,
lovely camisole and heels.

He was thrilled with what he saw 
it made me smile…

Dinner and a movie ahead...

Spontaneous Punishment Spanking.

I have never really been spanked as a punishment.

Well…that's not true, but kinda.

I've never been spanked with such great force,
through my objections and tears…
and it was JUST WHAT I NEEDED…
and Him too.

Anyway, I was being a pissy little girl
and after getting all sorts of unhappy,
I went and laid down on my bed and cried…
also not like me, as I'm not a crier.

Before I had cried myself out,
Sir walks into the room,
strides directly to the bed,
unceremoniously lifts my skirt,
(uncovering my pantiless behind).

I object and put my hand that is readily available
over my bare ass to cover it.

He roughly grabs my hand,
squeezes my wrist and holds it in place.
He leans his body over mine
preventing any further impedance to his assault on my ass
and proceeds

to spank the shit out of my ass!

I cried
   He continued to spank hard.

I objected
   He continued to spank quickly.

I carried on
He continued to spank with authority.

I finally stopped and took my spanking.
He continued to spank.

I gave up my struggle,
I gave up my fit,
I gave up my power … willingly.

I settled.

He gathered me in his arms,
pulled me up and around to cradle me.
He soothed me with his words and actions.

Control and Surrender

I have an excruciatingly stressful day today…

and Sir knows it.

He wakes me, before it's time to get up.
He pulls me into his side and starts to play with my nipples.

he pinches

he twists

he tugs

he flicks

he rhythmically pulses them with gentle to hard pressure.

He …turns me on!

I'm panting…
God I love my nipples to be played with…

He doesn't stop…feels like its a half hour of this…
literally!

Then he rolls me onto my back and
puts one hand over my throat…squeezing gently
and his mouth draws my oversensitive nipple into his mouth,
while his other hand plunges into my pussy.

He finger fucks me…finding my G-Spot really quickly.

With the build up, and the many places he's assaulting my body,
I cum quite quickly and strongly.

But of course, he doesn't stop…

Me moves his hand from my throat…
and
covers my mouth and nose.

He never does that!

Oh holy hell!
He keeps fingering me while
controlling my breath.

I fall apart!

That loss of control.
His gift of control.
My gift of surrender.

I feel it.
I am keenly aware of our power exchange.

He continues…giving me breath
and then controlling it.

All the while assaulting my pussy and nipples.

I cum.
I squirt.
I gasp.
I scream.

I give up all control.
He graciously takes it.

I float through my horrendously stressful day
with a calmness about me.
I smile that silly school-girl smile like I had no sense.

and

I survive my day, with the most amazing man,
the most generous Sir,
the most perceptive Master,
the love of my life by my side.

Power Exchange Lights Up The Room

Last night in bed I was laying on my side 

and Sir was snuggling up behind me.

I can't even remember what I said, 

but I was ready for sleep and feeling…frustrated, maybe?!

Sir was playing with my nipples and 

I was getting aroused.

I could feel myself getting wet but I didn't want to.

I couldn't flip the switch in my head.

I put my hands up to push him away.

He moves his hand to my pussy.

He grabs it and squeezes it, hard!

He growls in my ear,

"Whose in charge?"

"Not you." I say flippantly.

He squeezes my pussy again, really hard.

"Let's try that again, whose in charge?"

"I am."

Ya, not the smartest idea…and I knew it,
but couldn't seem to keep from going there.

He smacks my pussy, over and over,
then grabs and squeezes it again.
At the same time, he bites my ear
with just enough pressure to hurt, but not badly.

"Don't fight it.  You want to let go.
You know you want to cede control.
Let it go, fiona.  Don't fight me. 

Whose in control?"
"You are." I easily reply and feel my body relax.
My power effectively exchanged, given eagerly to him.

He moves his hand and brings it up by my nipples.
"My nails are long, so I'm not going to play with your pussy."
he tells me, also adding that I need to see to his nails tomorrow.
I have a wonderful rush when he gives me things to do to care for him.

He plays with my nipples, very rough and firm.
He puts his hand over my throat and squeezes lightly,
not really restricting my air, but in a very controlling manner.

I melt.

He rolls onto his back and rolls me on top of him.
He pushes into me in one fluid movement, seating me on top of him.

"Work my cock, fiona." he commands as I begin to move.
He's touching me, rolling my nipples, scratching my breasts,
squeezing my breasts and scratching my back.
He touches my clit, circles and rubs.

I'm moaning and working myself up.
"I want you to cum on my dick, fiona."
I begin to move at a frantic pace and  he adds just the right ingredient.

He tweaks my nipples hard and then.
*SLAP*  He slaps my breast, hard.
Over and Over as I reach almost a frenzy.
"Cum, fiona.  Cum on my cock, Now."

My body explodes with such force, I quake.
My eyes are squeezed so tightly, but I can see a bright light.

As my body works it's way through the spasms,
which were strong and seemed to last forever,
I open my eyes and still can see a bright light.

I look over and see that Sir's iPod had illuminated.
It goes off, automatically, plunging the room back into darkness.

That's weird.

"What was that?"
"I don't know, let me hold you for a minute 
and then you can figure that out."

After I cleaned him up, I look at his iPod,
there was nothing that would have caused it to light up.
The timing was … really weird.
It seemed to literally go on when I came.
*insert Twilight Zone music*

After the Caress of the Crop, Bound and Spent

So, if you haven't read my two previous posts...they're here and then here

============================================

I am laying - spent - on His bed.

My nipples are clamped and bound to the bed, 

the combination lifting my breasts up nicely.

My ankles are cuffed and tethered spread eagle to the bed.

Sir rolls off of me and reaches over to the nightstand drawer.

He withdraws the small electro device.  

My stomach drops,
My heartbeat skyrockets.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

I want it,
   but it hurts,
      but I want it,
         but what if I can't take it.

He turns it on and tests it on his forearm.
God, I love this man

I so appreciate that he knows what it feels like.

I also appreciate that I'm bound...but I'm terrified just the same.

He starts small.

He brushes it against my arm.

I jump
and my nipples get tugged
because they are bound to the bed.

He brushes it against my belly.

I jump and my nipples get tugged.

I decide to close my eyes with the hope that it will help me process.

Unfortunately,
it's so startling when it happens,
that I now

yelp,
jump,
and then squirm...

Ya, definitely MUCH worse
for my nipples
for the amount of noise I make
and
ya, just worse!

So....
Eyes open!
I watch as he moves the electro to a new spot.

He touches it to my thigh...one side and then the other.
I still jump, but less than when I wasn't watching.

Then he ...Then ...

Then he touches it to my lips...down there
...both sides at once.

I jump and scream and moan.
It's intense.
It hurts.
It is definitely pain.

My nipples hurt from pinch and pull that
resulted from my jump.

My labia hurts from the electro stim.

But then...

As with the pain, so frequently, it turns.

Instead of it warming and absorbing...
it electrifies me.
I can actually feel my body...

I get goose bumps and my body ....

just feels
Just feels so alive, so intense, so wired!

He sets the electro stim aside and kisses me.
His tongue plunging into my mouth - taking me.

He rolls on top of me and tells me those special three words

that make me melt.

Ya, you already know them....

"Good girl, fiona."

Yup, I melt!

He pulls the dildo out of my pussy and sets it aside.  

He's on top of me and I can feel his erection.

But after having the gigantic dildo inside of me, 

as soon as he thrusts inside of me, I feel very little of him.

He fucks hard and takes his pleasure - 

after giving me so much of my own.

As he gets close, he tells me, once again,

what a good girl I am!
... and then

... he removes the nipple clamps.

As the blood rushes back into my nipples,

the pain is acute and coupled with is thrusts and words,

we cum together, in a moment of absolute euphoria.

My Predicament (Part 2)

continued from My Predicament (Part 1)
--------------------------------------------------------------

Roughly ten minutes later I hear the door open.
The light turns on, not that I can see anything of import with the blindfold on.

Sir returns and caresses me.
He jiggles my breasts again, and kisses my temple.
"Oh, fiona, you look beautiful.
I love having you here waiting for me."

"Thank you, Sir," I reply.
Oh I adore the opportunity to serve him.
I adore how he makes me feel.

He asks how my hands and nipples are doing,
making it clear that if I need something, he may consider.
Oh the thrill of him saying that he MAY change something,
but clarifying that he will only do it if it pleases him to do so.

That power exchange....right there, that's one of my biggest kinks.
I love that I give him my power, willingly AND he takes it!

I explain that I'm fine.
I thank him for putting me here.
He spanks me again and then give me a hard crop.

My head falls back and my mouth opens.
He pulls my ponytail hard, and without any warning,
Shoves a dildo in my mouth.

He lays the base of the dildo on the shelf in front of me.
He then asks me to spread my legs.

Now, I can barely step flat footed on the ground
without my nipples burning because of the clamps.
I go up on my tip toes and open my legs.

He takes the glass dildo and rubs it on my clit.
I am so wet, so very wet.
He slides it inside and fucks.
It doesn't take very long before I'm sucking hard on the dildo
sucking hard and long and cumming apart.

He tells me to close my legs and keep the dildo in.

He steps up close behind me.
He reaches his hands around and cups my breasts and
jiggles them slightly and the clamps are stimulating.

He kisses my temple, then turns around and leaves.

Lights go out.
Door to the closet is shut.
Door to the room is locked and shut.

It's dark, music playing and I wait for my Sir.

=========================================
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The Crop and My Flight of Surrender

So, I Playfully tapped Sir's bottom as he walked past.  
I KNOW.  
I shouldn't have done that.  
I know.  I really do.  And yet. 
And Yet, I simply can't help myself.  

He rounded on my immediately, with an air of hostility.
He grabbed a fist full of my hair, right at the base.
He squeezed his fist and pulled my hair.  
At the exact same time, he pushed my head onto the bed.

He spanks my ass hard with his hand, 
but as I have jeans on, it's simply thuddy.
He then lets go and tells me to pull my pants down and 
get back into position, as he walks away from me.  
He follows that up with an authoritarian, "NOW!"

I do so and feel him behind me again.  
This time, it is not a thud, 
it's an off the bed, hands to my ass,
scream for mercy thrash with his belt. 
Oh, holy hell.  He left is all on the line there.

He commands me to get into position, hands high above my head
of course adding in his growl of "Now."

I comply, but warily.  I remember to breathe.
He lashes my ass with authority.  
It is hard.  I'm having a hard time processing.
I'm focused on breathing and staying in position.
"You like the belt.  Isn't that what you said?"

He's so right.  I do like the belt.  But it hurts.
There's been no warm up.  
He was pissed.  He wasn't playing around.
He's whipping my ass and it fucking hurts.

After...um...a bunch?  Oh hell, I have no idea how many,
He stops and declares, "Clear off my bed.
I want you back in position with the bamboo - NO, with the crop."
He adds as a warning, "And you'd better hurry."

I stand and rub my bum.  I'm sure I'll feel welts.
I look in the mirror and see amazing red stripes.
Oh, it's like my most exciting Girl Scout Badge of Honor!
I quickly put things on our bed away grab the crop.
He lays on his side of the bed and he commands,
"Grab a pillow, put it at the end of the bed and lay down, fiona."
I do so and quickly lay on my belly, 
assuming he's going to continue his assault on my ass.
"No, fiona.  Roll over and put your hands up."


I roll over and put my hands up and hold on to the root rail.  
He starts with the crop, rubbing the leather nub across my nipples.
After he has rubbed it to a stiff peak, he begins to crop.
He hits them hard.  Consistent and straight on.  
It stings every time he hits it. 
Typically when he hits my nipples, it turns to a lovely burn.
But he's hitting dead on and hard and it stings.

When he's assaulted my nipples sufficiently,
he pushes my knees apart.
YIPEE (what the fuck is wrong with me, right?)
He begins to softly crop my mons.
He crops around and then periodically over my clit.
It's not directly on my clit, it's my lips.

It feels so so good.
He's not zeroing in on any one spot.  
"Are you in subspace?" he asks...
OK so I find that hilarious...him actually asking - matter-of-fact-like
besides the fact that he knows the word.  
I'll have to ask him where he learned that 
as he doesn't read any blogs that I don't put in front of him.

"No." I reply simply.  
He rubs the tip of the crop down - outside of my hole.
Oh God I want!  I beg for him to fuck me.
Fuck me with the crop.
Fuck me with his finger.
Fuck me with...ANYTHING.  

He takes the crop back and begins assaulting my mons again.
He crops down over my clit and back to my thighs.
I'm breathing more, quicker.  
My clit is sensitizing.  I can tell.
He wheedles the tip of the crop into the top of my lips.
Opening my pussy.

He goes back to cropping - hard.
It feels soooooo good.
He rubs the tip against my whole slit.  
He further opens me up.
I'm now completely exposed and 
He crops directly on my clot.

Oh I cum, hard!
I see stars, literally.
My whole body trembles while my insides convulse.

He commands and I roll over.
He crops my ass, but now I AM floating.
I process that he's striking, but I feel nothing.
I'm jelly, relaxed and enjoying the ride.
I respond to nothing.  I simply am.
I am like an objective outside observer in my beating.

Then he pulls me out...out of my flight of surrender.
I can't remember how he did it, but I clearly remember him doing it.
I didn't want to come back down.  
But that is where he wanted me.  
So here I am.

He continues his assault on my ass...
but now it hurts, now I feel, now I respond.

He pulls my hair and bends me so I can suck his cock.
His beautiful hard cock.
He gives me this gift to suck and I relish it!
I suck, I stoke, he crops. 

He crops my thighs and feet 
as I lick and suck and worship his cock.
As he's getting close, he sets me atop his cock
and fucks my pussy so we can
cum together and collapse.
What a flight my Pilot, my Sir, My Dom took me on!

Electricity and Sir

My feelings for Sir are similar to my feelings toward electricity.

Hear me out.

Ok, so this weekend I was doing a bit of wiring at my house.  I was taught to wire outlets and other such things as a child.  I have been wiring or re-wiring things as necessary for the past thirty-something years.  For some jobs, I'll wire them live (meaning I don't turn the power to the outlet or that portion of the house off).  I know...before you really let into me...I know, it's STUPID.  (happy Conina??) So...back to my weekend project.  I was re-wiring - something that I've done a bazillion times (YES, that's the actual number of times) - and I freaking shocked myself THREE times.  UGH...so after the third time, I turned the circuit breaker to that out outlet off.  I know, I know, took me LONG enough...huh?

Now, do you ever have those moments where two things that are NOT at all connected become fussed together?  Well, maybe it was the extra electricity flowing through my body, but I had the thought...hmmm Electricity and Sir have so much in common...so many traits...similarities.

Similarities between

My Sir AND Electricity

• Both are electric....(well that was obvious)
• Both send sparks through my body (hopefully not too many)
• Both have the ability to harm
• Both have the ability to hurt
• I find the right amount of pain given by both quite erotic
• Both allow greater adventure at night
• Both require my respect
• Both illuminate my world
• Both have the ability to shock me 
• I fear neither
• When I behave inappropriately with them, I get a quick correction
• I am able to live without both for short periods of time
• I want to live without neither

Okay, so you get the idea...I'm sure there are tons more.  

They both have the ability to hurt and harm, I have spent decades learning about both, Sir and electricity, in college and thereafter.   This knowledge has taught me a healthy amount of respect.  I respect them but don't fear them.  

Fantasy Fulfilled (Part 3)

This is continued from Part 1 & Part 2...more to come...

I am warm, comfortable, and calm.  I feel the enormous dildo in my pussy.   I am secure in my place and His.  As I am bound, collared, gagged and blindfolded, I am exactly how he wants me to be and exactly where he wants me to be.

I hear him walking down the hall.  I hear him open the door.  He walks over to me, pulls up his flannel shirt that was covering me and opens my legs.  He sits on the bed beside me and places a hand on my thigh, gently holding it in place.  Oh that hand is so gentile and comforting, yet wields the power take what he wants.  He begins to masturbate me slowly.

"Now fiona, I want you to tell me if you get sore.  Do you understand?  If you're sore, it's ok. I'll flip you over and use this in your ass.  Do you understand me, fiona?"

"uh-hu" I grunt through the ball gag.  Wow, that threat  statement, fills me with desire, deep and dark.  I simultaneously want him to use The Dildo in my ass and am terrified that I won't be able to take it - it's huge remember.  Oh, what is wrong with me?

He stands up, tells me to leave my legs butterflied.  *FUD*, he flogs my inner thighs.  He hits one and then the other.  Ah, it feels soooo good.  He moves so he's flogging my puss.  The small falls are tied in tiny knots.  They wheedle inside the folds of my pussy.  The larger knots hit my mound, my thigh, Ahhh.  He moves the falls upward and begins to flog my breasts.  It feels so good, but every time a large knot hits my nipple, my back flies off the bed.  It's like the clamps are being removed again.  They are so sensitive!  Oh, how I love to be flogged EVERYWHERE!  It's insane!

He puts the flogger down and leans in.   He sucks my nipple and it feels so good.  It feels like hot velvet engulfing my nipple.

He kneels on the bed and grabs my hair.  He pulls me up - as far as I can go given my restraints.  He pulls the ball gag out of my mouth and commands me to open my mouth.  He shoves his cock to the back of my throat and holds my head there.   As if I wasn't blazing before, I begin to suck like my life depended on it.  I am ravenous.  He reaches between my knees and moves the dildo in and out.  As he reaches a good pace with the dildo, he pulls my head on and off and is fucking my mouth at a pace that matches the dildo.  My mind goes blank and that electric surge, that starts in my core - moves quickly to my fingers and toes begins.  The electricity of my climax then surges through my limbs to my pussy and all of my energy flows to my pleasure points.   I feel so humiliated, so objectified, so used and taken and controlled.  Oh, how I love this!

*KNOCK*   *KNOCK*   *KNOCK*

ARE  YOU
F  U  C  K  I  N  G
KIDDING ME?????

He quickly sets me back down, pushes the dildo far into my pussy, zips up his pants, and walks to the door.  With an evil tone to his voice, he tells me not to move and giggles under his breath.

AARRGGHH!!

Fantasy Fulfilled (Part 2)

This is continued from Part 1...more to come...


He gives me a minute to control my breathing and come back to myself.  It takes a few minutes to be able to respond, to be able to move.  He tells me to lay on his bed.  I do as requested and he is by my side with a blindfold.  He places it over my eyes and secures it behind my ponytail.  My sense of sight is gone.

He takes my right ankle and ties .... YES ... a rope around it (oh how I love rope).  The rope itself is soft, but it is tied tightly - though he takes care to make sure my circulation is alright.  He ties the other end of the rope to a finial on the bed and pulls.  My right leg pulls down and open.  He takes my left ankle in his hand and deftly repeats the process.  This time when he pulls, not only does he pull my left leg apart, but my lips also open slightly, sending a shiver through my body as cool air hits my soft wet folds.

I can hear so clearly when I'm blindfolded.  I hear him pick up something that has metal on it, it's quietly jingling.  He cuffs my wrists and quickly connects them to the top bars on the headboard.  My arms can bend, but there is not enough slack for them to touch each other.  I then feel his hand at my neck and he is collaring me with a large wide leather collar with a ring.  He tightens it so that it is snug.  He then tugs at the ring and I can literally feel a bead of moisture escape my pussy.  I am collared and restrained.

I hear the jingle again, but instead of metal, I feel his warm fingers.  He begins to pull and twist my nipples.  He hardens both nipples and I am beginning to moan and move slightly when cold, hard, unforgiving, metal, hurt like a hell, Japanese clover clamps are placed on each nipple.  

"Oh, Oh, OHHHH, those, those, OHHH, they, oh, OHHH, hurt, theyhurt, theyhurttheyhurttheyhurt," I quickly spit out.  The clamps are biting, burning.  Oh, they burn and pinch and feel like my nipple may just be pulled off of my body - SHIT I hope that doesn't happen!  My nipples are on fire.  I slow my breathing and process the pain.  "They hurt," I say more calmly.  

"It is too much?" Sir asks patiently.  

"no, but just barely," I respond.

Sir lays my knee to the side and gently lays a hand on my thigh.  I love how grounded that touch makes me feel.  He instructs me to hold my knees out in a butterfly position - as much as possible with my ankles tethered.  He opens my pussy lips and without ceremony, simply dribbles lube down my fold.  It starts at my clit and feels like ice sliding down to my opening.  He takes ..... um .... oh that's The Dildo! I feel.  He's got the head of The Dildo smearing the lube up and down my slit.  Oh, I feel so...what am I feeling....I feel like he's playing with someTHING, that he's working with an inanimate object.  He takes the head of The Dildo and shoves it inside of me.  It's tight and he's being none-too-gentile.  He shoves it to the end of my opening so that it's resting on my cervix.  He leaves it there for a minute and leans up to my ear.

He whispers, "You need this.  You're going to be played with for hours.  You're going to be a good girl and stay right here and take everything that I want to give you.  What do you say?"

"Thank you, Sir." I respond in anticipation.  Oh, I want!  My nipples hurt, my pussy is full, I am bound, collared and blindfolded and I WANT!

Simultaneously, he begins to fuck my pussy with The Dildo and he pulls the FUCKING chain on the FUCKING clover clamps.  Pain and pleasure.  "OOOOOOOOHHHHH"  I SCREAM.  I come apart and he's fucking me hard.  He's ripping orgasms our of me, one after another.  I stop breathing, I arch my back and open my mouth in a silent scream.  As I do this, he removes the clovers and all of a sudden I realize that my nipples had stopped feeling...um....they stopped feeling at all, as I reached one of my climaxes.  But HOLY SHIT, as he removes them, I continue my silent scream but in a non-quiet manner.  Thank God the house is empty, the people three blocks away may have just heard me.

Sir stops as quickly as he started.  He shoves The Dildo deep into my puss and then commands me to close my legs.  He explains that he has a lot of work to do and that I need to to be quiet.  He then pushes the large ball gag into my mouth and fastens it.  He tells me that he will come back and check on me.  He covers me up with one of his large flannel shirts, kisses me, tweaks my nipples (HOLY OUCH), then tells me to be good and not to move.

Ha...I'm bound, gagged, collared and filled...how could I not be good?

Timing is everything.  His work phone rings and he answers it, walking out of the room and shutting the door.

Kinky Vanilla

Well, I read a post by Kitty about Vanilla Sex.  Her post made me thing about vanilla in my life.

Sir and I had PLENTY of vanilla sex in our 20+ years.  We've always had a great sex life...sleeping together (in the biblical sense), typically, 3-4 times a week.  We've been best friends from our first night together.  No, there was no sex that night...just talking.  ALL night.  We saw sunset and sunrise.  We've made love in many positions and gone to sleep sated, happy, and connected.  There was nothing wrong with our vanilla sex life.

My First Pair of Handcuffs

With all that said, we started with kink in our relationship, to some degree, but never named it as kink.  Within the first few months of sleeping together, we spanked.  I loved being spanked.  I can't remember the first dildo that he bought or the first vibe, but I've had them a long time.  I purchased our first pair of handcuffs and gave them to him as a gift over 20 years ago.  They weren't the pink fuzzy ones, they were metal police type cuffs and oh, was I in!  I have loved bondage and rarely, if ever, get my fill.  We've had crops and floggers and clamps...you get the idea.

We've had kink AND vanilla for as long as we've had us.  But the vanilla has historically been along side the kink, some nights this and some nights that.  As I have blogged before, our kink became more focused a little over a year ago.  Where we had been forever switches, we became D/s with sole-positions of D and s.  So for a year we've been settling into our roles.  As the months go by, the vanilla seems to appear less and less in our sex-life.  Now-a-days, the periodic blow job instead of a face fucking - meaning no hands in my hair, no loss of control, no force, is the closest we typically get to vanilla sex.

I have tried to initiate making love to my husband a couple of times.  We typically evolve into D/s - where I am clearly giving my power over and he is clearly taking my power and HE is in charge.

So I sit here, typing this post and am contemplating where we are.
       Do I miss it? 
              Do I miss the vanilla?  
       Am I not making love when we are sleeping together with our D/s in full view?  
Do we not connect on the same level when there are the trappings of bondage, toys, spankings?

I am LOVING my kink.  I don't miss the vanilla in my sex-life.  I do not miss it, because
       

I have vanilla inside my kink.  

• From each tender kiss to every loving spank.  
• From each sappy phone conversation that begins with an equally husband-specified sappy ring-tone to each tug, bite and clamp of my nipple. 
• From each snuggle, spooning close at night to each flog as his hand rests strong and sure against my back.  
• From each dinner conversation and parenting moment to every whisper of ownership in my ear.  

I love my kink AND I love the vanilla that lives within...

and I don't feel incomplete at all.

A Slap in the Face

A slap in the face elicits such a depth of emotions.  I know that face slapping is VERY controversial. People either love it or hate it.  It can conjure up bad tapes from our youth or relationships which weren't healthy in some way.

Two things to keep in mind about this issue and me.  First, until we explored him slapping me in an erotic way (yes, it is erotic for me), I had never been smacked.  Therefore, I had none of those bad tapes or unhealthy relationships with regard to face slapping.    It was something that I was neither excited about or opposed to.  Second, my Sir and I have been together for over 20 years.  Yep, been together... FOREVER!  In that time, we've always pushed each other's limits.  It's funny to think that there are any left.

I don't know when the first time was that Sir slapped me.  I know I asked hinted that I was interested in it.  I believe he was apprehensive about slapping me.  I find that kind of funny because he has NO qualms with so many other things.  He spanks me, flogs me, whips me, pinches me.  He clamps, binds, and fucks me in a myriad of ways.  He's not ever seemed to have a problem with degrading or humiliating me.  He's not struggled with our power exchange.  While he has been gentile at times he has also been rough, very rough.  But this...smacking my face... he seemed to struggle more with.

The first few times he would smack me, it was a very light tap on the cheek.  It wasn't just ok with me, it was a turn on.  But I wanted more.  I continued to ask hint for more.  Sadly, looking back, I don't think I ever really asked.  I felt ashamed that I liked it so much.  You know, that old feeling that something must be wrong with me if I like this.  So much of society tells us that smacking someone's face is wrong.  Society often says it is inappropriate in ALL circumstances.

The first time he smacked me - really smacked me - open hand, firm, *smack*, I remember gasping.  I also remember the thrill, the depth of submission that I felt, the flood of wetness it produced.  I was in my place, I was His, and I was WONTON.  It was a claiming like I had never known before.  I LOVED it!  I loved it so much, I didn't care if it was inappropriate to everyone else in the universe.  I was going to deal with my embarrassment, my shame and embrace my desire!  What's more, He liked it.  He didn't just like it, he was wicked turned on!

When he slaps me, I am immediately pliable.  I am open.  Over-caffeinated-butterflies take up residence in my stomach.  Everything clinches inside and my pussy is wet, like immediately, seriously wet!  This all happens in an instant and the results are undeniable.   While it is a gross understatement to say that it excites me, it would also be an understatement to say that it excites him.

We have explored face slapping for a while and now he doesn't even have to fully slap my face to have the same effect.  He can simply caress my cheek and it evokes the same feelings.   Don't you just love Pavlov's theory in action...just a caress and I have the same physical and emotional response.  Even though I have the same response, I often will lean into his hand, silently inviting imploring him to ... slap me.

Puppet Orgasmed to Tears

His lips are on mine, soft and loving. You know how some kisses are just...luscious.  His tongue dancing with mine, heating, building urgency.   His hands on my head, our bodies lying flush against each other.  I can feel him hardening against me.  There is an energy around us and an intimacy that is palpable.

He had been so loving and so gentle.  Our kiss breaks and I look into his eyes.  He gazes at me and I whisper,  “Make love to me.” 

He holds my gaze.  His eyes seem to darken, I don’t know how he does it without a word, but he Doms-up.  He is not my lover, he is my Sir, I am his sub, I am His.  I know my place.

One of his hand that had been gently holding my head during the kiss, tightens and my hair pulls taught. The other hand moves and gently caresses my cheek.  Oh, I can feel my insides clench, by stomach drop, my pussy moisten.  I lean into his hand and close my eyes. 

*slap* 

Not hard, just claiming.  “Mmmhhh,” I moan.

And the mood  is set. 

He rolls onto his back and I move to curl around his body.   I open my mouth and hungrily begin to give his hardness the attention it deserves.  I kiss, lick, slurp, suck.  He reaches his hand down and starts to play with my erect nipples.  He pinches, I suck…he rolls, I suck (mmmmm) …he squeezes, I suck (ohhhhh) …he flicks, I suck…

The fire is burning, the energy builds.

He moves his hand down and pulls me off of my side, onto my knees, my head still buried on his head.  He spanks and a rhythm builds.  He’s striking me as he lifts his hips and pumps his cock and pushes down my throat.  I moan.  It’s mind-numbing – all of the senses that are being stimulated.  My backside is stinging, my insides turning, my mouth full, gag - my breath taken away - remember to breath.

And just like before, he suddenly shifts, putting his palm on my sex.  He grasps – he squeezes, I freeze -  stop breathing.   Once again, he claims me.  He releases me and quickly puts his thumb inside.  I am dripping, there is an obvious squishing noise as he moves his thumb in and out and I'm building to a fever pitch.  I’m sucking – harder – I’m moving up and down his penis like it is the piston on a freight train.  He’s moving, curling his thumb and hitting the most amazing love button inside.  And I feel myself, I feel the energy surging, I feel the build…and I impale myself on his cock while I start to pulse around him.  My orgasm a title wave, washing over me.

I figure this portion of our show is over, I have cum.  He keeps his thumb in me.  It's time for him, time for him to cum, but I need a minute.  I breath – no more accurately, I pant.  Then comes his command.

“Squeeze.”

nothing

That’s right, I heard him but I don’t think I processed anything. 

“Squeeze it, Fiona!” he commands again.

He knows, I cum much faster and it is much more intense when I squeeze against that which impales me.  When it is his finger, there is no half-assing it, he can tell.  I’ve got to be all in.  I refocus on him.  I lift my head up and begin to pump again on him.  I redouble my suction, the seal my lips make around his girth.  I pump feverishly and … squeeze.  OHHH.  OOHH.  His thumb moves, he pushes it in and hits my pelvis - forcefully.  At the same time he hits, he curls his thumb under my pubic bone.  Ahhhh – I suck – I moan – I squeeze – i, i.

I cum.  I am impaled on his thumb and I cum like the puppet I am.  He pauses and I pant and he starts again.  Oh no – Oh no – Oh no.

i cum

I am rung out, I am spent.  I can’t breath, I can’t catch my breath, my head is literally swimming.

“SQUEEZE IT FIONA!”

Oh I can’t.  I can’t squeeze again, I can’t cum again, I can’t. 

I squeeze and he starts again.  My mouth is wide open, holding his dripping cock.  I can taste his salty precum as it slides down my tongue from the back of my throat.  I start to build and I start to grunt and groan and moan.

AHHH SO INTENSE – SO MUCH – SO MUCH - AHHH 

I am simply his puppet.  His thumb in me moving me as he chooses.

the world stops … nothing

I have no idea of time …my mind is blown.

He grabs my hair, pulls and starts to move my body.  He positions me over him – on top of him. I’m sure he’s talking, he may have been all along.  I have no idea, I have no hearing.  Everything is silent in my head. I lower onto him because I am exhausted and my legs are jelly.  I am close to cuming just upon entry.  After the priming,  I am set to blow.  I rise up – my hands fly to my face, tears streaming down, my mouth opens and I …

“AAAAHHHHHHHHH,”  I SCREAM and I CUM!!!!!!!

FUCK!

I’ve been orgasmed to tears, his good little puppet.

Thank You, Sir!

I am not an overly dramatic person and I do NOT cry easily or often.  Upon receiving some upsetting news, I free
                fell
                   into
                        a
                      well.
Maybe I was just at an especially sensitive emotional place prior to getting the news.  I sent Sir a text and said I was Angry, Frustrated, Sad and Scared.  I explained why and asked for help.  So, that's also another thing I don't do often...ask for help.  He called before leaving work and I cried.  He talked to me all of the way home and I cried.  He explained that he was going to help me.  That he would watch over me and make sure I was ok.

He walked through the door and set down his bag.  With my head down and tears streaming down my cheek, I walked over to him.  He put his arms around me and hugged me, tightly.  I felt enveloped.  He tangled one hand in my hair and I knew he was going to exert his power over me and expect me to respond.  I wasn't feeling submissive.  I was sad.  He held onto me - simply held tight.  One arm tight around my back and the other fisting in my hair.  I cried on his shoulder and he made sure that I felt secure.  

After I stopped crying he pulled my hair down so my face tilted up.  He gently kissed my mouth.  He kissed my tears.  He kissed my eyes and cheeks.  He kissed.  His lips felt like pillows - really.  It was amazing.  Now Sir does have fabulously full lips which I do adore, but he was kissing so gently.  So thoroughly.

His tongue began to explore my mouth.  My sadness was seeping out of me.  It was like he was sucking the sadness and despair from my soul.  With the hand that was fisting in my hair tightening, he moved his other hand from my back and took a firm hold of my jaw.  He pulled back and looked at me.  He looked serious, he looked intent, he looked like my Dom.  He looked more Dom-like than I can recall him looking.  

"i need to make dinner," I say quietly looking down.

"No." He says firmly.

"i need to make your dinner," I repeat and quickly heard the same response.  He kissed me again, this time eliciting moans.  He pulled my head back by my hair and put his hand on my throat. Oh, do I love it when his hand is on my throat.  He squeezes gently and pulls my hair tighter - just to the point of pain.  "We don't have much time, but you need a spanking, don't you?" he says.  My brain immediately screams "NO - I won't ask for this!" but my mouth whispers "yes, Sir."  I know in my heart, that I need his help.  I need him.  I need him to spank me.  Oh - how can I admit that to myself?

Right there in the kitchen, he spanks me six times, rapidly and firmly.  I'm starting to feel heady...starting to feel fuzzy ... starting to feel better.  He takes me into laundry room and closes the door.  I notice something on the floor.  Bending over to pick it up so that I can move further into the room, he spanks me once, then removes the item from my hand and drops it on the floor again.  I know that his intent was for me to bend back over.  Well...being the good submissive that I am, I bent right back over.  He proceeded to spank me.

"Say it, ask me fiona," he says.
"please," i whisper.

"ASK me fiona," he says.
"Please, Sir.  Please spank me," I say a little louder.

"Good Girl," he praised me.  He spanks me rapidly in the SAME spot.  Oh, I'm feeling vibrations going through me...it acts like an emotional reboot.

He helps me stand up and pushes me back against the sink. The stability of the sink is welcome, as my legs feel like a Jenga tower with too many blocks pulled out. He reaches behind me, undoes my bra, takes it off, and begins to pinch my nipples.  He isn't being gentle.  He is making sure I know he is in control.  My nipples are burning - oh they feel so good.

He takes one of his hands and pushes my hand against his enormous cock.  "Please, Sir, Please.  Please let me suck.  Please, please, Please Sir."  I am all but begging.  He puts his hands, solidly on my shoulder and pushes me down.

I unzip his pants and it's there!  Oh God - i need...I need...I...!  I kiss his head and it is so soft - silky smooth.  He has a bead of cum on the tip.  I have a sudden surge of insane excitement, need.  I'm like a kid in a candy store.  I suck .. no .. I suckle at his head.  It tastes like the best ice cream, the richest dark chocolate, a perfect carmel.  I suck very hard and take him further into my mouth fully.  He puts his hand, calmly and firmly into my hair and pulls my head onto the full length his cock.  He pushes down my throat.  Unh!  I'm groaning, I'm moaning, oh I am so close to cuming.  He's holding my head.  I am controlled.

I open my mouth, but don't completely remove his cock for fear he take it away.  I look up and see him looking down at me.  My Sir, my Dom is looking at me with knowing eyes, with love, with compassion.  I feel better.  I feel home.  My mind screams out, 'Oh, Thank You Sir!' but instead i whisper, "Please feed me, Sir."