100th Post ... AND ... Sir's Home!

Posts

So, this is my HUNDREDTH post.  OK, so I am totally flabbergasted.  I know I've said it before, but I was NOT a person who journaled...like EVER.   How in the heck have I managed to blog 100 published posts?

It has been wonderful.  I have loved blogging.  I have loved getting to know new people.  I have made wonderful friends, who've become a part of my life.  I am happy that people read my blog, I love, that people comment - regularly or periodically.  The comments mean the world to me!  I love that there are people who I can e-mail to  ask questions, or who even periodically e-mail me. I love the connections that I have with Y'ALL!


On another note...Sir made it home.  
HIP HIP HOORAY!  

He reasserted his dominance - right away.  He was loving and affectionate.  
We kissed.  We danced in the kitchen.  We talked and touched.  I asked at one point when we were hugging and he wouldn't let me put my arms around  his neck..."What are you doing?"  to which he quickly and matter of factly responded, "Asserting my dominance.  I love you and oh how I have missed you fiona."  

We were not alone in our home.  He comes back to our home filled with his extended family.  He's subtle with his dominance, but quite clear with his intent.  He took me up to our room within the first twenty minutes of being home under the auspices of unpacking his suitcase.  He bent me over the bed and spanked me - TWICE.  Yes, it was only twice, but he made them count.  OUCH.  He pumped into me from behind...both of us totally clothed.  He rocked into me and I could feel his hard-on.  I was so horny.  I know we don't sleep together continuously, but regularly.  It's been a week (I know - it's not THAT long, but it was a long time for me and a lot of stress and strain in between).  I was soooo happy that he was feeling the same way.   I was thrilled that he was hard.  THRILLED.  So...... 

...after pumping into me, he grabbed my hair and pushed me to my knees.  I buried my face in his crotch.  He unzipped his pants and pulled his hard cock out.  I was almost sucking in his pants, I was so eager.  I got a hold of his cock and just about inhaled it.  I sucked and he fucked.  He grabbed my hair and used my mouth.  He growled that he needed to cum in my mouth.  He started to cum and pushed his cock deep into my mouth.  Not being quite at the right angle, I coughed and gagged just a bit as he shot his load deep into my mouth.  I sucked and swallowed.  I loved that my gagging did not detour him from having his pleasures be met. He came so much, I had to swallow four times (and those weren't sips, either.)  When we were done, I looked up and saw him smiling at me.  Smiling with adoration and seeing the love in my eyes as I still sucked on his softening cock.  

Tonight as we went to bed, he sucked and nibbled and bit the living shit out of my nipples.  When he was done with that, he pushed my knees apart.  He slapped my pussy - hitting on the sweet spot.  He generally doesn't "check" on my arousal, but his fingers were greeted with slick honey dripping.  He slipped a finger, then two inside.  He fingered me to several orgasms, then lay his head on my chest and keeping his fingers inside of me, slipped off to sleep.  I lay there, fully awake, not wanting to ever move, feeling owned, loved, sated and controlled.  


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Thank you all again for reading.  

Happy 

Posts

How Could I Inspire Anyone?

First, Please allow me to thank Cassaundra, HisLilAngel, Mrs. D, Aisha, Joolz & Tori for nominating me.  It seems silly, I couldn't inspire ANYONE in blogland...it's just my sex life.  I mean, really!  I'm simply this middle-aged married-for-forever submissive.  But thank you for nominating me.  REALLY!

The Rules:

1. Display the award logo on your blog  

2. Link back to the person who nominated you 

3. State 7 things about yourself 

4. Nominated 15 other bloggers for this award & link to them 

5. Notify those bloggers & the award's requirements 

I, like many, can't nominate 15...that seems like an excessively large number of blogs and many have been nominated and I'm having trouble keeping track.  Please message me if you would like to have a nomination and I would be THRILLED, otherwise, sorry.  Can't.

Seven things...about my Sir (as several have already done...and I know I haven't shared a ton)

Sir Q:

1. He's brilliant, not just because I think so, but because he IS.
2. He's a big guy...think line backer size.  OK so not quite, but a Big Guy...Tall!
3. He's a serious rule follower (hmmmm, funny - that shouldn't surprise anyone - huh.)
4. He can't use a comma to save his life!  He'll know it's wrong, but can't see how to fix it.
5. He loves Christmas music all year long.
6. He is loyal to a fault.  He will forgive and forgive...it's insane!
7. He's a total introvert, but plays the extrovert expertly when he so desires or is required to.

     BONUS:  Not like it's shocking, he's my everything and I his. 

UPDATE:  I missed HisLilAngel...I am very sorry.  And when I read your post, OMG, you are just the sweetest.  So here's the thing...I still can't see how we can be inspiring to ANYONE...we're just...US.  That just does NOT seem like it should be inspiring.  IDK.
;)

Electric Nipples...Mmmm Good!

"Lay across my bed, fiona," he commands in a low, patient voice.

Oh no - is my only thought as I lay across his bed.

"Take off your shirt."

I am now laying across his bed with my pants on - he had me remove my bra earlier in the evening.   I know he's planning on playing...it's far to early to be secluded in our room to not play.  Oh, what does he have in mind.

"Close your eyes, fiona.  Goodgirl (yes, he says it like it's one word).  Now keep them closed, little one."

I feel...Oh...OH, he's putting something on my nipples.  It's cold and covers - like an inch and a half around my nipple.  It's foreign, I don't know what it is.  I feel the pull to open my eyes, but want to be good.  That disconnect - desire to open - desire to please is arousing, intoxicating.

Ohmygod, ohmygod...prickles, stings, little tiny stabs of electricity start to go through my nipples.  HOLY SHIT, he got out the TENS machine...we discussed this, but never did.  Ohmygod.  It feels painful, but just barley.  It is intense in all the right ways.

He lets me adjust to this feeling, all the while adding to it.  He's changing the intensity of the TENS and his other hand is rubbing, gently, his fingertips along my body.  Touching around my belly button.  Going in and out, up my side and down my arm, around my neck, giving it a squeeze.  AAHHHHH.

He touches me all over, eventually making his way back down my navel.  He unbuttons my jeans and slips them off along with my panties.  He pushes my knees apart and gently touches my calfs, my knees, my thighs.  He wanders his fingers around my soft, warm folds.  He touches my wetness and spreads it around my lips.  He dips his fingers into my warm honey, making me moan even louder.

After building the tension inside of me, he removes his fingers and quickly replaces them with The Dildo.  It's so large as he gently stretches me as he invades my pussy.  I'm so tight around it, it's not sliding in easily even though I am oh, so wet.

"If its a bit hard for you to take, that's ok. I want you to take it anyway I give it to you.  Do you understand, fiona?"  he says.

With those words, I relax and the dildo slides in.  He fucks me with it slow - in and out.  He makes sure its considerable length is naturally lubricated with my nectar before he pushes it harder and faster.

The tingling on my nipples, the penetration that is so filling and rough and claiming.  Oh, I am so....horny.

"What are you imagining, fiona?" he asks.
"you're putting a big dick inside me." i breathlessly reply.

"Is it mine?  Is it someone else's?"

AHHHHH.  He fucks me with The Dildo and I come apart.

"Ask me for it." he commands.
         what the FUCK is it with him wanting me to ask??????
"Please make me take the big dick, sir." I breath.  "Please let me cum."

Now typically, I do NOT ask to cum, he doesn't EVER really control that.  It was where I was.  It was the wonton, horny, sexually deviant, slut that was deep inside me screaming for freedom.

and with that...he renews his assault, turning up the TENS and fucking me with recless abandon and I CUM...HUGE.

He removes The Dildo and I close my knees and feel so bereft, so empty - cranving fullness!

I hear a zip but don't look as I roll my knees back and forth - my body apart from my mind.

He removes the TENS from my nipples.  He sucks on each and Oh, it feels like warm ocean waves rolling over my overly sensitive nubs.  He leans up and with no preamble, he's inside of me.  His shirt on, jeans on, zipper open allowing his cock to mate up with my sex. He starts to move and he's not being any too gentile...he's fucking in roughly the same manner he was with The Dildo.  My hands go up to his chest and push against him.

I want.  I want his cock inside - as deep as I can.  He's slamming into me and I'm leavering his torso to get him as deep inside as possible. He's pumping into me and I cum apart. My Sir is a large man. He is tall and very muscular. I cum and my body clenches around him...but not just my pussy.  All of my muscles seem to tighten.  I am fuly supporting his upper body on my arms because I am pushing so hard. I cum and he cums and I just don't stop. I can feel my pussy gripping onto his cock with the power I have never experienced.  I can feel me milking him and know he has deposited his seed deep inside me.  He's stopped pumping and yet my body just continues to pulse. I am lost to the sensation, panting, shuddering, moaning...lost.
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He tucks me into bed and tells me he'll clean everything up. He kisses my forehead and turns off the light. I am thoroughly, roughly fucked and exhausted, lay sated.

A Gift of Pain

Wow...this year is starting off with fabulous firsts.  

fondles and BIKSS sent me a fabulous gift from far-far-away.   It came in the mail in this wonderful, protective, non-descript plastic container...black.  When I saw the mail carrier drop it off, I ran - like literally RAN down to get it.  I looked at Sir - who was grinning at me with the I-love-you-my-dear-but-you-are-a-nut smile.  I explained that it was from fondles and quickly took the tube upstairs and opened it.  

I was sooooo excited.  I knew it would include a cane of some sort.  BIKSS asked before I got the tube if I had used a cane before, to which I answered, "no."  I have had a hand, whip, cat-o-nine-tales, spoons, brushes, many fucking phenomenal floggers, including conina's - my favorites,  used on me, but never a cane.  He warned me that with canes you need to start slow.

I saw wrapping paper inside oohh I love presents and tipped it upside down.  Out  fell a cane and a bundle of bamboo.   Wow, the cane is thin and bendy...It looks so petite - innocuous.  I quickly open the two wrapped gifts.  Oh, wow.  It's the proto-spanko and the slapper.  The slapper has a blue daisy "Q" charm on it.  WOW.  It is amazing.  A "Q" - I can't believe they found a "Q"!  I loved them!  I absolutely loved them!

Sir came up a while after and I had all of the gifts laid out on the bed.  He bent me over the bed and said, "mmmm, wow, fiona.  These look like fun."  He rubbed the small of my back while he fondled the new toys, his hand was strong, his fingers spread out.  I loved how it felt.  He picked up the cane and *WHWHWHWHWHAP*.  

!!!!!!! HOLY  SHIT !!!!!!!

Oh, crap, I forgot to tell Q that we had to start slowly.  Crap! Shit! Fuckity Fuck Fuck fuck!  That hurt!!!! I could hear it, slicing the air.  Oh, damn, that hurt!!!  I think my legs lifted three feet off the ground - at the same time!  He quickly changed tacks, didn't stop mind you, just changed how he applied it.  I am secretly grateful that he didn't stop all together. He began to bounce the cane lightly off my ass.  It felt fabulous.  I loved it.  He criss-crossed the welt where he had the really hard strike.  The rhythmic application acted almost as a message on that spot and helped desensitize the welt.  He increased the strength slowly, but not too much. 

 

After a bit, he switched to the proto-spanko.  He said this one was harder for him to spank with, but I enjoyed the feel of the rubber and the thuddiness.  I loved the breadth of the strike, as he had fanned it out.  It felt soothing and blanketing.  It wasn't stingy, which was a welcomed change after the cane.

He set that down and then said that he was going to spank hard, but only a few strikes with the next implement.  He said it was because it was going to be loud and others may hear.  He hit me with the bamboo message sticks.  They were loud  but they were my most favorite implement!  I think I began to moan and push my ass higher in the air, begging for more.  He hit as hard as he dared, and was very deliberate.  Oh, it felt like a cross between a gentile caning and a flogging.  It was amazing.  I would have been happy to have that beating on me for hours - hehe.

Sadly, I didn't get to feel the spanker.  I had been so excited to show Sir the charm (a "Q" can you believe it??)  on the slapper that I had laid it on my dresser after I opened it and forgot to lay it on the bed, so we didn't have a chance to try that one.  I can't wait to have a go with it as soon as Sir sees fit!  

Thank you, Thank you fondles and BIKSS for sending
us such amazing new toys for Sir and I to play with.
Thank you for my gift of pain!  

(top to bottom)
bamboo massage stick, cane, proto-spanko, slapper

New Year's Affirmation

I was quietly laying in bed with Sir last night.  The house is dark and quiet.  The quilt and comforter lay heavily atop us, swaddling us in warmth.  My Sir has me tucked into his side, my head raising and falling on his chest and my hand gently enveloping his cock and balls.  He pulls his hand up and is stroking my hair.  I feel so safe, warm, loved, comforted....content.

"With the holidays and traveling, it feels like I have lost some of my submission.  I miss it." I confess in a whisper.  I love when it is dark and we are snuggled and it feels like I can say anything.  It's not like I hold back, typically, but in this scenario, cloaked in darkness and safe in his arms, I don't feel embarrassed about anything.

"Well, this past year has been your year of submission, hasn't it fiona?"

My hard stops.  I am terrified.  Does he mean that we're done?  Does he want out?  Is he done with TTWD?  I've finally become confident in my position, in my desire, in my place.

Crap, Shit, Fuck.  I sit up - criss-cross my legs and look at him...Yes, it's dark, so I can only see an outline.  I'm holding my breath.

"Hasn't it, fiona?"  he repeats.

Breathe, breathe fiona - I tell myself.
"But I don't want it to end.  I was just saying that i missed it.  I have missed sitting at your feet, putting on your shoes, I have missed being spanked - Oh, God have I missed being spanked.  I know it hasn't been that long, but I have MISSED being demonstrably submissive to you." I say with a strong voice.

"I've missed it too, fiona.  I like you being a good girl.  I love you being my good little girl."  he replies.  Oh thank heavens.  Really!  OH THANK HEAVENS!!

It seems poignant that this conversation happens when it does.  It happens just before the new year and it served to reaffirms our places, it reaffirms our desires, it reaffirms our roles.

Last night and today, Sir has put his hand (and brush) where his mouth was...he has begun the spankings and I am feeling better.

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I have gone through so many emotions in this past year.  I have felt...

...ashamed that I liked to be spanked
...nervous about wanting to be submissive all the time
...insecure about my ability to please him.
...selfish for wanting to always be submissive (remember we had been life long switches)
...vulnerable for vocalizing my deepest desires and accepting them as part of me
...satisfied that I was doing a good job when I did as I was told
...content to follow his directions, even in humiliation or sexual scenes which pushed my boundaries
...free and whole being a submissive to his Dominant
...excited-as-hell to be His
...happy to be able to accept my submissive, spanko, kinky desires
...horny, wanton, slutty... oh I've felt those too.

I am grateful for this year.  I am grateful for this blog.  Without Conina's encouragement, I would never have started this blog.  Thank you. I have blossoming friendships with a couple of blogland folks and am grateful for those.  They make my life much more complete.  I am grateful for you!  I have learned so much and been provoked into meaningful introspection by my reading of the wonderful blogs out there.  Thank you for allowing me to join in your journeys.  Most surprisingly, I have grown to really love the "conversation" that I am able to have with y'all who comment.  It means more to me than you know.

Happy New Year my kinky blogland friends.  I wish you and yours a New Year with ENOUGH!

fiona

Thanks for the Conversation

I love that I get to have a conversation every day, every few days, every week or two with the bloggers on my blogroll.  That's the way I feel about it.  We have a conversation.  I share what's happening in my life (albeit often my sex-life).  I read about what's happening in yours.  I leave comments on your blogs and you comment back and vice-versa.  It's a conversation among friends.

I never thought I would find a community like this.  I never thought I would fit into an online blogging community.  I have read for a while, commented for a bit and am a baby-blogger.  None of these were things I thought would be things that I did.  And yet, I find myself enjoying and feeling "nourished" by the online community that I belong to.

So I wanted to say THANK YOU.  Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your conversation, a part of your life.  But just as importantly, THANK YOU for being a part of mine.

Thank You, Bonnie!

Thank You, Danke, Mahalo, Gracias, Xie Xie, Obrigada, Spacibo, Arigato

Thank you Bonnie for your efforts to support and nurture our Spanko world!  Thank you also for including my post on your New listing.  I do so greatly appreciate it.

You are a Hero among bloggers!!