Working Through What Life Brings

So Sir and I had a very hard discussion last night.  He was prepping me for an inevitable end that I don't want to end.  No one is dying, but it's an end to something that I love.  It was a planned end.  It was expected.  But my love for this thing (and no I'm not explaining what the thing is, sorry) was unexpected but non-the-less...it's there and it's real.

So we had this discussion and I went through many quick steps of grieving all at once...It was an exhausting night.

So at the beginning of our evening, we were sitting in the living room.  The fire was lit, we were comfortable, the evening had been lovely.  He began the conversation with, "Ok, fiona.  We need to take a few minutes and really talk about this.  I need to know where you stand and we need to be in this together."  As we are with all major decisions in our life.  We are together.  He continued talking.  I listened.  I didn't look at him, which was not typical of either of us, but I think it was just a lot of information and a lot of processing and I didn't want to make eye contact.  He finished talking and I continued to sit there listening...to nothing.  Finally he said, "fiona, I've said my peace.  I've given you a lot to think about.  What do you think."  I sat quietly.  Alone.

Then I opened up my mouth.  I was angry.  We argued for a while until I was SERIOUSLY PISSED.  Now my love, my Sir, my husband is a good Great man.  He wasn't doing anything TO me, he was discussing and trying to work through.  Eventually when I had argued and argued, I got up and picked up my things.  He looked quizzically at me and said, "Are you going to bed??"  to which I SHOUTED..."YYYYYEEEEESSSSS" in a none-too-pleasant tone.

WTF, fiona.  I stomped upstairs in all of my five-year-old-glory and went to our bedroom.  He followed me upstairs.  He put his hand on my neck and pushed me over the bed.  I was MAD.  I don't want this. I don't want a SPANKING.  I don't want anything but to wallow in self-pity.  So I fought for a minute, maybe even only 30 seconds and then accepted no acknowledged my need.

He helped me rid myself of my pants and panties and he spanked, and I cried, immediately.  Damn, I am NOT a crier, but I needed to cry.  It felt good to cry.  I HATE THAT by the way.  I hate to cry and I hate that it was cathartic.  But there you have it.  He spanked me with his hand and with the clipboard, it's what was immediately accessible.

At the end, he rubbed and rubbed and then pulled me up and held me.  He caressed my had and rubbed my back.  He tipped my chin up to look at him and said, "That wasn't enough, I know.     I know."

And I think it was him saying it was all he could do.  He couldn't listen to me cry, sob into the bed and continue to beat me.  He needed to sooth too, he needed to connect, he needed to care for me also.  And he's right.  It wasn't enough.  But I needed the connection and the soothing and care also.  I needed it all.  It wasn't enough, but it was a start, and I'm grateful for that.

Fantasy Fulfilled (Part 4)

This is continued from Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3.  It's also the end.  

I can hear some guy talking to Sir downstairs.  NO, it's not what you think.  I think the damn electrician stopped by early.  He wasn't due until this afternoon.  I must say, hearing Sir conducting the business of our home with someone else - all the while I am bound, blindfolded, gagged, collared and have an enormous dildo stuck in my, now very well used, pussy upstairs is ....  HOLY HELL HOT!

except, ummm...except, he didn't put his large flannel shirt over me, so, umm, I'm not feeling hot.

I breath, I meditate, I - I ...

Shit, I have to pee.

Actually, now I'm cold and I have to pee.

He's talking - what on earth are they doing, it's taking forever.  I can hear them walking around.  Oh My God, are they chaty-fucking-cathys??

I have this mental struggle between the calm of meditation and the knowledge that I am getting colder and colder and have to pee!

"ah-a-a-a"

I startle myself.  I must have just made that noise.  I hadn't intended to make a noise.  Wow, how did that whimper escape me?  No, focus fiona.

I breath, focus on meditation...

I start to cry, gently.  I'm not aware of it until the tears runs down my cheek.  They aren't able to escape down the side of my head, because the blindfold is absorbing them.  I'm not really that upset, I think I am simply emotionally raw from the system overload.

I am soooo completely consumed with myself, I don't even  hear him open the door.  He's by my side in a flash and untying me.  "What's wrong, fiona?"  He says in a slow and steady, concerned voice.  "I'm so cold and I really have to pee,"  I say.  I expect him to pull off the blindfold and let me up.  I don't move from the position he put me in, though I am no longer bound there.  He places on warm hand on my chest, grounding me, then moves the other to The Dildo.  He starts to move it slowly in and out.  I cum almost immediately.  You know, full bladder and all.

Once he's pulled one orgasm from me, he starts to move the dildo a bit faster.  He's moving it in and out and then side to side - almost stretching me.  He's not being gentile anymore.  He pulls me over to the side of the bed onto my side and moves my hands, still above my head, but pulls my legs so that they are completely open.  I'm half on my side and half on my back.  He unzips his pants with one hand...I guess when your stiff cock is holding your pants in place, it kinda acts like another hand.  He takes it out of his boxers, grabs the back of my head and I instinctively open my mouth.

"Close your mouth, fiona."  Ahhh, no I want cock...  He takes his cock and smears his precum all over my face.  He rubs and smacks.  Oh, how objectifying.  His next command comes with one word, "Open!"  I do and am immediately rewarded with a cock in my mouth.

I am making the  noises of a rabid animal.  I am truly out of my body.   He flips my legs so that I am mostly on my stomach with my head to the side still firmly latched around his throbbing member.  He pulls The Dildo from my pussy and pushes it against my tight rosebud.  OH - OH...I'll need a gallon of lube before that thing is going to be able to enter me, and that's IF it's even able to!  SHIT.

As I begin to panic about the dildo and my tiny, tiny opening (compared to the massive shaft he's about to shove in there), I realize I have stopped sucking on his cock.  He moves my mouth so that his pleasure is not diminished.  If I stop sucking, he'll fuck my mouth just the same.   I don't know if all of the orgasms and endorphins have caused me to leave my body, or if I am just soaring weightlessly in subspace, but I have a moment, where my entire body relaxes.  My rosebud blooms.  My breathing softens and he's pushed The Dildo into me.  My ass stretches to accommodate and the guttural noises involuntarily coming out of my body are unfamiliar to me.  He's fucking both ends of me.  I have
 T H E    M O S T    A M A Z I N G     O R G A S M!

I truly don't know what happened next.  I know that I was on my stomach with a ridiculously large dildo in my ass and a beautiful work of art in my mouth.  The next moment, I look up and for the first time since this adventure started, I can see.  He's removed my blindfold and the glorious Dom of a man is staring into my eyes.  He's hovering over me, pumping his cock into my gushing pussy.  I still have The Dildo stuck in my ass, though it is no longer moving, so my pussy is tighter around his cock.  He pins me to the bed with his gaze as he fucks.  I am really outside of this whole scene.  I see him.  I feel him.  But yet, I don't.

He throws his head back and cums with a scream.  Oh, it's like seeing a wild animal after a hunt and I have so enjoyed being his prey.


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I am sore as I write this.  I have have been WELL used!  I have constant reminders of the flogging, the clamping and the hours of fucking.  Every time I feel....um....something, I smile.  I am happy!

Desire ~ Interruption ~ Ecstasy

We sleep together most every night as a jumble of limbs, snuggling close.  We woke this morning, in just that fashion.  As Sir came awake, my hand reached around to hold his hard cock and balls.  He slid his hand, which had been draped across me, up to my right nipple.  Without saying a word, he began to play. He rolled, he pinched, he pulled, he squeezed.  After no time, I was aroused - no that sounds too proper, I was wanton - hot and horny.  He moved over to my left nipple and continued with his tormenting.  Oh, how I love the feel of his fingers on my nipples.  My body was beginning to move.   

"You are going to be a good girl today, aren't you?"  He says.

"Yes, Sir"

"You had a bit of a lapse yesterday, didn't you?"  

"I'm sorry, Sir" I say ashamed, because yes, yesterday I lost my ever-lovin' shit.

"Today, we're going to start the day off right.  You ARE going to be a good girl."

He continues telling me what he expects from me for the day.  This includes wife/mother tasks, household chores, sexual expectations, personal maintenance.  He plays with my nipples and tells me what I am to do, combining sexual arousal and emotional/intellectual satisfaction.  I am beginning to feel wetness seeping out from between my legs.  

His hands are on my breasts, alternating between kneading and sharp squeezes.  

My breathing is ragged, desire is pulsing through my veins and I'm beginning to moan.  

.........

bounce

bounce

bounce

"HI MOMMY!"

POUNCE 

"Fuck, Fuck.  Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!" - my brain screams.  I'm so aroused and I can't control my breathing.  Damn real life!  

My youngest bounds onto the bed.  Hops on top of me.  Looks at Sir and says, "Hi Daddy, I'm hungry.  I'm going to get breakfast." Then, leaps off the bed and is gone.  

It's kinda like a hit-and-run!

.........

"Go lock my door, quickly."  He says.  I fly out of bed and lock the door and am almost jumping out of my skin to get back in bed.  I lay down and begin to angle myself toward his engorged cock, longing to have it between my lips.  He grabs me and pulls me back.  One of his arms lays across my throat and his other moves so he can check on my arousal.  His fingers deftly move between my legs and find the Niagara Falls of moisture escaping my lips.  He plunges inside and re-unfocuses my mind.  "Ahhhh," I cry out as he manipulates me from inside.

Just before I come, he pulls his arm away from my throat and his fingers from my pussy.  He lays back on the bed with a particularly evil grin.  I once again move to kiss the head that I have been longing for.  Once again, he pulls me, but this time, it's on top of him.  Like a well oiled machine, I slide effortlessly onto him.  The minute I move, I cum.  Literally.  I was so aroused that I shot off like a cannon.  My hands went up to my face, my mouth opened in a silent scream, my pussy pulsed with such force I could feel it firmly squeezing his cock.  Then like the wanton slut that I was, I proceeded to fuck at a pace that was unbecoming - even a slut.  I was hellbent on pleasure and one orgasm beget another.  

As my eyes were screwed shut, I was surprised when he pushed my hands away from my face and pushed them so they were behind my head.  He slapped my breasts with a wonderful rhythm that matched my gyrations.  Then, all at once, he slapped my breast - he came - and his powerful shot must have hit my g-spot, because I saw stars, I stopped breathing, I froze unable to process the ... 

... ecstasy.