Accepting What's Given

I had been a general pain in the ass for about thirty minutes...

Now in all fairness to me,
the behavior and and attitude were reciprocated.

Well, after going and running some chauffeur duties for my kids,
I came home deciding to announce,
"I have had it!" to Sir.

Well, I walked in, put my hands on my hip,
Saw Sir at the kitchen sink,
stomped up to Him with all sorts of attitude and

He wiped his wet hands off,
Grabbed my neck and
growled at me.

He spun me around,
Put my hands on the counter,
held them in one hand and
proceeded to spank the living hell out of my ass!

He started strong and kept it strong.
It hurt...from the get-go,
but because he was holding my hands tight to the counter,
I felt grounded and
because I had to take it,
I knew I could take it...

Does that make any sense?

It was so impactful...
and yes, I mean that in every way!

He then pulls me up,
spins me around,
and I put my hands around his neck and hug him.

He backs me up...and takes me to the bedroom.

I was cheeky once again,
and Sir told me to lay over the bed.

I really wanted to listen...
as so frequently doesn't happen with me.

My stubbornness and abstinence too frequently gets in my way.

But he steps back out of the room,
and I quickly not only lay over the side of the bed,
but I also pull down my pants and underwear.

He walks back in and tells me what a good girl I am.

He rubs the large metal kitchen spatula against my ass.

I KNOW that stings like hell!
He starts small and I take it well.

He builds, as my ass worms up,
and it's starting to feel so good.

He then is getting strong and
I'm moving a bit more,
so he puts his arm around my waist and
throws his leg over mine,
basically binding me.

Once again,
that tether helps me settle in and accept what's given

He then stops and says,
"Three good ones."

I always get nervous when He says that.

The first one stings so much...
It stings and hurts and stings and
oh - as it sinks in it feels
warm and wonderful.

He rubs my ass and then
!SWACK!

My foot kicks up as much as it can,
and I breath.

It once again...hurts so much...
but I breath and wait for the warm...

mmmmmmmm
Ya, there it is.

Then he says, "Are you a good girl?"
"Yes"
"Are you going to be a good girl?"
"Yes"
"You know you can get spankings when you're a good girl, right?"
"Yes"
"Are you going to earn those spankings?"
"Yes"

!SWACK!

I almost stand right up with the strength of the hit,
but his arm around my waist and
his leg over mine tighten
and I'm held in place

and I can feel wetness on my eyes.

And he rubs and rubs and then commands,
"On your knees."

I don't know if he has EVER done that.
Spanked the shit out of my ass and then
commanded me to my knees.

I am just about a puddle of goo!

I am frantic to get His zipper down and
my mouth onto his cock.

I suck and lick and stroke and suck and lick.
I snake my hand up his shorts so that I can fondle his balls
and I'm ravenous.  That's the only word I can think of.
Truly ravenous for His cock.

BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP

I FLY up and run to the bathroom,
as the alarm chime for our house notifies us that
our son has just opened the door to the house!

Spontaneous Punishment Spanking.

I have never really been spanked as a punishment.

Well…that's not true, but kinda.

I've never been spanked with such great force,
through my objections and tears…
and it was JUST WHAT I NEEDED…
and Him too.

Anyway, I was being a pissy little girl
and after getting all sorts of unhappy,
I went and laid down on my bed and cried…
also not like me, as I'm not a crier.

Before I had cried myself out,
Sir walks into the room,
strides directly to the bed,
unceremoniously lifts my skirt,
(uncovering my pantiless behind).

I object and put my hand that is readily available
over my bare ass to cover it.

He roughly grabs my hand,
squeezes my wrist and holds it in place.
He leans his body over mine
preventing any further impedance to his assault on my ass
and proceeds

to spank the shit out of my ass!

I cried
   He continued to spank hard.

I objected
   He continued to spank quickly.

I carried on
He continued to spank with authority.

I finally stopped and took my spanking.
He continued to spank.

I gave up my struggle,
I gave up my fit,
I gave up my power … willingly.

I settled.

He gathered me in his arms,
pulled me up and around to cradle me.
He soothed me with his words and actions.

The Right Way To Solve This.

"We rarely have arguments like this anymore
and this was the right way to solve this one."

How was it solved, 
you may ask?

Well…the turning point came when 
he showed up at home, slammed the door
and yelled, 
"Where in the hell are you?"

Now, first off, Sir almost never yells.
Second, slamming doors is a pet peeve.
Third, he NEVER comes home from work.

apocalypse anyone?

He marches upstairs and 
holds the hysterical mess that is me at the moment.

After backing me into a corner and 
just holding tight, even when I push and resist,
he calms me down.

Once calm, he kisses me,
then puts his hand over my throat.

He whispers in my ear 
that he's going back to work, 
but not before he spanks me.

I ask him just to hug me.
He replies that he'll hug me,
but that he needs to spank me before he leaves.

After a wonderful bear hug,
where I am well and truly relaxed
from the state I had managed to work myself into,
he moves us both (still hugging me) to the bed.

He turns me around and 
reaches his arms around me.
He unfastens my belt and pants and 
pulls my pants and panties down.

He caresses my ass and then brings his hands up
under my shirt and undoes my bra.

He squeezes my nipples and breasts
and I close my eyes.

He tells me to bend over and 
put my hands all the way above my head.

I do as he asks and he steps away.
He retrieves the crop and asks,
"Do you want it hard or soft, fiona?"
"soft," I whisper back.
"Turn your head to the side so I can hear you,
and ask me for it."
oh, holy hell, I hate, Hate, HATE it when he does that.

"please" I squeak back.
"Please what, fiona?"
"please spank me."
"How?  Ask me for it." he commands.
UGH

"please spank me softly."  I reply.

*thwap*


"Ask me again."
"please" I squeak back.
"Please what, fiona?"
"please spank me."
"How?  You have to say it, fiona." he commands.
OH, SHIT!  I thought I could get away with not.  
Come On, just spank me already…however YOU WANT!!

"please spank me softly."  I reply.

*thwap*
(right on that sit spot)

------
-----
---
--
-

OK, I get it, Ihavetoaskorhe'sjustgoingtostandtherewiththe motherfuckingcroptouchingmyassandnotdoinganything!

"please spank me"

*thwa"pleasespankme."p*

*thwa"pleasespankme."p*

*Thw"pleasespankme."ap*

*Th"please"wap*

*TH"please"wap*

*TH"please"Wap*

*TH"please"WAp*

*THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP**THWAP*

As I reach my ouch limit, I begin to stand up.

He reaches around and grabs my tits.
He twists and pinches and the sting turns
to direct heat and pleasure - both tits and ass!

"Do you want three good strokes?"
"yes, please."
"How hard, fiona?"
"as hard as you like, sir."
"Get into position"

as soon as I am bent back over,
hands over my head,
he strikes low where my ass hits my thighs.

He gives me a minute to process,
then strikes in the middle.
Ohholyhell!
then he strikes just above that and
roughly turns me around.

He unzips his pants and
in one smooth moves, seats himself
balls deep inside of me.

"You are wet, fiona.  Sopping wet.
You needed this."
"yes." I say unembarrassed.
"So did I."
He fucks me hard and fast and 
reaching down he uses his hands to
maul my breasts.  

After the crying, the hugging,
the crop and the hard fuck with nipple play,
I'm so there.  
He squeezes one more time hard and 
as I try to catch my breast,
he smacks my face.  
I Cum, 
long and hard and fulfilling.

He did as well (though not in thirty seconds).

I have to concur with him,
it was the right way to solve this.

We both feel…BETTER!

Squirting, Gushing, Flooding

on my back
my legs spread 

his finger in my pussy 

his lips on my nipples 

he fingers me  

he's talking

it's building 

he's talking 

more talking 

more building

it's coming

release

I can feel 

my insides pulsing 

it's cuming 

he's talking 

he's moving 

I'm cuming

But I don't just cum 

I squirt all over his hands 

all over my thighs 

dripping down my buttock 

drenching the bed

He suckles 

he talks 

but he doesn't stop 

moving his fingers  

I'm panting 

it's rising

He keeps fingering 

it's building again 

instead of moaning 

and groaning 

it's guttural 

it's deep 

and the pulses 

they pulled from deeper inside of me 

I keep cuming and rolling and squirting 

I can feel the moisture 

it's making noise now 

I squirt again 

and he still doesn't stop 

he suckles the other nipple 

tugs on it 

bites it 

and fingers

I can feel the deeper orgasm pulling 

he's actually PULLING them from 

deep in my belly 

and I come 

and I squirts 

and I grunt 

and I cry.

I lay 

completely spent 

with my eyes closed 

my mouth so dry 

my body soaked 

he finally withdraws his fingers 

and they just slipped right out 

as if they've been greased

"look at me little girl." he says 

and I comply immediately

opening my eyes 

looking up into his dark piercing eyes 

he takes his hand 

that's now sitting on my mons 

and spanks hard on my pussy

I hear a splashing sound 

and I can feel liquid splash 

onto my legs

it's so humiliating  

and arousing 

and mortifying 

and intoxicating. 

He spanks my pussy hard 

each strike landing 

on my clit 

and I cum 

with him looking into my eyes 

a clitoral cum that has me vibrating

"when did you learn to play my body like a fiddle?"

I ask 
looking at me, he chuckles

"Oh, when you were 18."

Working Through What Life Brings

So Sir and I had a very hard discussion last night.  He was prepping me for an inevitable end that I don't want to end.  No one is dying, but it's an end to something that I love.  It was a planned end.  It was expected.  But my love for this thing (and no I'm not explaining what the thing is, sorry) was unexpected but non-the-less...it's there and it's real.

So we had this discussion and I went through many quick steps of grieving all at once...It was an exhausting night.

So at the beginning of our evening, we were sitting in the living room.  The fire was lit, we were comfortable, the evening had been lovely.  He began the conversation with, "Ok, fiona.  We need to take a few minutes and really talk about this.  I need to know where you stand and we need to be in this together."  As we are with all major decisions in our life.  We are together.  He continued talking.  I listened.  I didn't look at him, which was not typical of either of us, but I think it was just a lot of information and a lot of processing and I didn't want to make eye contact.  He finished talking and I continued to sit there listening...to nothing.  Finally he said, "fiona, I've said my peace.  I've given you a lot to think about.  What do you think."  I sat quietly.  Alone.

Then I opened up my mouth.  I was angry.  We argued for a while until I was SERIOUSLY PISSED.  Now my love, my Sir, my husband is a good Great man.  He wasn't doing anything TO me, he was discussing and trying to work through.  Eventually when I had argued and argued, I got up and picked up my things.  He looked quizzically at me and said, "Are you going to bed??"  to which I SHOUTED..."YYYYYEEEEESSSSS" in a none-too-pleasant tone.

WTF, fiona.  I stomped upstairs in all of my five-year-old-glory and went to our bedroom.  He followed me upstairs.  He put his hand on my neck and pushed me over the bed.  I was MAD.  I don't want this. I don't want a SPANKING.  I don't want anything but to wallow in self-pity.  So I fought for a minute, maybe even only 30 seconds and then accepted no acknowledged my need.

He helped me rid myself of my pants and panties and he spanked, and I cried, immediately.  Damn, I am NOT a crier, but I needed to cry.  It felt good to cry.  I HATE THAT by the way.  I hate to cry and I hate that it was cathartic.  But there you have it.  He spanked me with his hand and with the clipboard, it's what was immediately accessible.

At the end, he rubbed and rubbed and then pulled me up and held me.  He caressed my had and rubbed my back.  He tipped my chin up to look at him and said, "That wasn't enough, I know.     I know."

And I think it was him saying it was all he could do.  He couldn't listen to me cry, sob into the bed and continue to beat me.  He needed to sooth too, he needed to connect, he needed to care for me also.  And he's right.  It wasn't enough.  But I needed the connection and the soothing and care also.  I needed it all.  It wasn't enough, but it was a start, and I'm grateful for that.

Fantasy Fulfilled (Part 4)

This is continued from Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3.  It's also the end.  

I can hear some guy talking to Sir downstairs.  NO, it's not what you think.  I think the damn electrician stopped by early.  He wasn't due until this afternoon.  I must say, hearing Sir conducting the business of our home with someone else - all the while I am bound, blindfolded, gagged, collared and have an enormous dildo stuck in my, now very well used, pussy upstairs is ....  HOLY HELL HOT!

except, ummm...except, he didn't put his large flannel shirt over me, so, umm, I'm not feeling hot.

I breath, I meditate, I - I ...

Shit, I have to pee.

Actually, now I'm cold and I have to pee.

He's talking - what on earth are they doing, it's taking forever.  I can hear them walking around.  Oh My God, are they chaty-fucking-cathys??

I have this mental struggle between the calm of meditation and the knowledge that I am getting colder and colder and have to pee!

"ah-a-a-a"

I startle myself.  I must have just made that noise.  I hadn't intended to make a noise.  Wow, how did that whimper escape me?  No, focus fiona.

I breath, focus on meditation...

I start to cry, gently.  I'm not aware of it until the tears runs down my cheek.  They aren't able to escape down the side of my head, because the blindfold is absorbing them.  I'm not really that upset, I think I am simply emotionally raw from the system overload.

I am soooo completely consumed with myself, I don't even  hear him open the door.  He's by my side in a flash and untying me.  "What's wrong, fiona?"  He says in a slow and steady, concerned voice.  "I'm so cold and I really have to pee,"  I say.  I expect him to pull off the blindfold and let me up.  I don't move from the position he put me in, though I am no longer bound there.  He places on warm hand on my chest, grounding me, then moves the other to The Dildo.  He starts to move it slowly in and out.  I cum almost immediately.  You know, full bladder and all.

Once he's pulled one orgasm from me, he starts to move the dildo a bit faster.  He's moving it in and out and then side to side - almost stretching me.  He's not being gentile anymore.  He pulls me over to the side of the bed onto my side and moves my hands, still above my head, but pulls my legs so that they are completely open.  I'm half on my side and half on my back.  He unzips his pants with one hand...I guess when your stiff cock is holding your pants in place, it kinda acts like another hand.  He takes it out of his boxers, grabs the back of my head and I instinctively open my mouth.

"Close your mouth, fiona."  Ahhh, no I want cock...  He takes his cock and smears his precum all over my face.  He rubs and smacks.  Oh, how objectifying.  His next command comes with one word, "Open!"  I do and am immediately rewarded with a cock in my mouth.

I am making the  noises of a rabid animal.  I am truly out of my body.   He flips my legs so that I am mostly on my stomach with my head to the side still firmly latched around his throbbing member.  He pulls The Dildo from my pussy and pushes it against my tight rosebud.  OH - OH...I'll need a gallon of lube before that thing is going to be able to enter me, and that's IF it's even able to!  SHIT.

As I begin to panic about the dildo and my tiny, tiny opening (compared to the massive shaft he's about to shove in there), I realize I have stopped sucking on his cock.  He moves my mouth so that his pleasure is not diminished.  If I stop sucking, he'll fuck my mouth just the same.   I don't know if all of the orgasms and endorphins have caused me to leave my body, or if I am just soaring weightlessly in subspace, but I have a moment, where my entire body relaxes.  My rosebud blooms.  My breathing softens and he's pushed The Dildo into me.  My ass stretches to accommodate and the guttural noises involuntarily coming out of my body are unfamiliar to me.  He's fucking both ends of me.  I have
 T H E    M O S T    A M A Z I N G     O R G A S M!

I truly don't know what happened next.  I know that I was on my stomach with a ridiculously large dildo in my ass and a beautiful work of art in my mouth.  The next moment, I look up and for the first time since this adventure started, I can see.  He's removed my blindfold and the glorious Dom of a man is staring into my eyes.  He's hovering over me, pumping his cock into my gushing pussy.  I still have The Dildo stuck in my ass, though it is no longer moving, so my pussy is tighter around his cock.  He pins me to the bed with his gaze as he fucks.  I am really outside of this whole scene.  I see him.  I feel him.  But yet, I don't.

He throws his head back and cums with a scream.  Oh, it's like seeing a wild animal after a hunt and I have so enjoyed being his prey.


----------------------------------------------------------------------


I am sore as I write this.  I have have been WELL used!  I have constant reminders of the flogging, the clamping and the hours of fucking.  Every time I feel....um....something, I smile.  I am happy!

SAD

The sky on November 5, 2011, the day she died.

Warning:  NOTHING Sexy or Hot 

written here.  Just life – real life…

I am sad.  Profoundly sad.  Last year was noteworthy on the tragic side for me.  I lost.  I lost friends, I lost family, I lost familiarity, I lost.  You know how they have those tests for stress and they include; death, divorce, change in job, change in location... - well, I didn't get divorced.  

I have had a good year since then, overall.  I have grieved and grown.  But today.  Today is hard.  Today is sad.   One year ago today, I lost the person I was closest to in this world, next to my husband.  I lost the most precious person who knew me since I was born.  I knew this day would be hard and, indeed, many tears have been shed and the hole in my heart and soul is still large. 

The sky the evening I put her in the ground.

I had asked my love, my husband, my Sir to be here on this day, as I knew it would be hard.  I asked many moons ago…and this is not something I really ever do.  He planned on being here and at the last minute – well a couple of weeks ago, he had to set up a business trip on this day (yesterday and tomorrow too).  I was despondent when he told me – feeling sad and betrayed and alone.  Now, I do realize, in the cold light of day, that it may be a little way too dramatic  to go there…but at the moment it was real.  

I asked him on Saturday to please spank me - really spank me, and make sure I was in as good of a place as I could be in before he left.  He promise to do just that.  Guess what…life happened.  I went up to our room and he did too.  We packed and he fell asleep.  I was … you guessed it … sad and frusterated and angry.  I cried, silent tears, not that it would have mattered, he was asleep.  I moved over to the side of the bed furthest away from him.  I tried to sleep, but couldn’t .  After a bit of time too long, I decided I wasn’t punishing him by sleeping far away and distancing myself.  I snuggled up and put myself in the position that is our ritual rule.  I slid off into dream land.  

*slap*

I awoke to a swift smack of his hand on my ass, then rubbing -  Ohh Ohhh.  He spanked me awake and then kissed me.  It was the middle of the night, just prior to him having to leave.  He got out the flogger and flogged.  He told me the last few would be hard – he had to make them count as he said.  They were HARD – they counted.  He kissed me and gave me directions…things to do.  I was to stay plugged for specific periods of time, to do specific things around the house...he was trying to help me stay focused and not fall apart.  He has been calling and being attentive.  I am grateful for his help.  I am grateful for his love.  I am grateful for what I have…

... but I am still at a loss.  I am still sad.  I am still broken hearted.  Today is hard and I am sad.  

Puppet Orgasmed to Tears

His lips are on mine, soft and loving. You know how some kisses are just...luscious.  His tongue dancing with mine, heating, building urgency.   His hands on my head, our bodies lying flush against each other.  I can feel him hardening against me.  There is an energy around us and an intimacy that is palpable.

He had been so loving and so gentle.  Our kiss breaks and I look into his eyes.  He gazes at me and I whisper,  “Make love to me.” 

He holds my gaze.  His eyes seem to darken, I don’t know how he does it without a word, but he Doms-up.  He is not my lover, he is my Sir, I am his sub, I am His.  I know my place.

One of his hand that had been gently holding my head during the kiss, tightens and my hair pulls taught. The other hand moves and gently caresses my cheek.  Oh, I can feel my insides clench, by stomach drop, my pussy moisten.  I lean into his hand and close my eyes. 

*slap* 

Not hard, just claiming.  “Mmmhhh,” I moan.

And the mood  is set. 

He rolls onto his back and I move to curl around his body.   I open my mouth and hungrily begin to give his hardness the attention it deserves.  I kiss, lick, slurp, suck.  He reaches his hand down and starts to play with my erect nipples.  He pinches, I suck…he rolls, I suck (mmmmm) …he squeezes, I suck (ohhhhh) …he flicks, I suck…

The fire is burning, the energy builds.

He moves his hand down and pulls me off of my side, onto my knees, my head still buried on his head.  He spanks and a rhythm builds.  He’s striking me as he lifts his hips and pumps his cock and pushes down my throat.  I moan.  It’s mind-numbing – all of the senses that are being stimulated.  My backside is stinging, my insides turning, my mouth full, gag - my breath taken away - remember to breath.

And just like before, he suddenly shifts, putting his palm on my sex.  He grasps – he squeezes, I freeze -  stop breathing.   Once again, he claims me.  He releases me and quickly puts his thumb inside.  I am dripping, there is an obvious squishing noise as he moves his thumb in and out and I'm building to a fever pitch.  I’m sucking – harder – I’m moving up and down his penis like it is the piston on a freight train.  He’s moving, curling his thumb and hitting the most amazing love button inside.  And I feel myself, I feel the energy surging, I feel the build…and I impale myself on his cock while I start to pulse around him.  My orgasm a title wave, washing over me.

I figure this portion of our show is over, I have cum.  He keeps his thumb in me.  It's time for him, time for him to cum, but I need a minute.  I breath – no more accurately, I pant.  Then comes his command.

“Squeeze.”

nothing

That’s right, I heard him but I don’t think I processed anything. 

“Squeeze it, Fiona!” he commands again.

He knows, I cum much faster and it is much more intense when I squeeze against that which impales me.  When it is his finger, there is no half-assing it, he can tell.  I’ve got to be all in.  I refocus on him.  I lift my head up and begin to pump again on him.  I redouble my suction, the seal my lips make around his girth.  I pump feverishly and … squeeze.  OHHH.  OOHH.  His thumb moves, he pushes it in and hits my pelvis - forcefully.  At the same time he hits, he curls his thumb under my pubic bone.  Ahhhh – I suck – I moan – I squeeze – i, i.

I cum.  I am impaled on his thumb and I cum like the puppet I am.  He pauses and I pant and he starts again.  Oh no – Oh no – Oh no.

i cum

I am rung out, I am spent.  I can’t breath, I can’t catch my breath, my head is literally swimming.

“SQUEEZE IT FIONA!”

Oh I can’t.  I can’t squeeze again, I can’t cum again, I can’t. 

I squeeze and he starts again.  My mouth is wide open, holding his dripping cock.  I can taste his salty precum as it slides down my tongue from the back of my throat.  I start to build and I start to grunt and groan and moan.

AHHH SO INTENSE – SO MUCH – SO MUCH - AHHH 

I am simply his puppet.  His thumb in me moving me as he chooses.

the world stops … nothing

I have no idea of time …my mind is blown.

He grabs my hair, pulls and starts to move my body.  He positions me over him – on top of him. I’m sure he’s talking, he may have been all along.  I have no idea, I have no hearing.  Everything is silent in my head. I lower onto him because I am exhausted and my legs are jelly.  I am close to cuming just upon entry.  After the priming,  I am set to blow.  I rise up – my hands fly to my face, tears streaming down, my mouth opens and I …

“AAAAHHHHHHHHH,”  I SCREAM and I CUM!!!!!!!

FUCK!

I’ve been orgasmed to tears, his good little puppet.