My Morning

I wake up and notice that Sir and I are back to back
We are touching top to bottom, almost leaning on each other.


It's pitch black in our room, the house is silent.
The alarms have yet to issue their demon like noises.


We typically sleep, entwined, touching.
He rolls over, he's typically so in-tune with me.
Though I didn't move, he knows I'm awake.

He rolls over and spoons me.
He puts his top arm over my waist
His hands touching my belly.

He slowly caresses my skin.
He finds my belly button and begins to tease.

It's lovely at first, then the heat builds.
He's rimming it, rubbing it, dipping inside.

It's erotic and I notice that my breathing has become panting.
My hips are moving as are my legs.
I'm so turned on.

and I'm writhing with arousal, with need.

He's touching and teasing and heating

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

FUCK!

Fuckfuckfuckfuck!

=======================================

As I'm putting on Sir's shoes and socks
(a ritual I do almost every morning)
He takes his toes and plays with my nipples.
He pulls down the v-neck of my night shirt
exposing my breasts to his view.

Oh, it's so erotic.
I am so insanely turned on.
I am sitting on the floor at his feet and
he's playing with my rock hard nipples.

I look up and quietly whisper...
"I need it rough." I say with some embarrassment...then clarify
"I need you to be rough with me sometime soon."

"Oh, fiona, I'm happy to hear you say that.  
I want to use the electro on you...but in places we haven't tried."

My stomach is immediately in upheaval as the
entire kaleidoscope of butterflies takes flight.

"Now, in order to do that, you'll have to be tied to the bed.
Are you up for that fiona?"

He barely has the last words out before I'm clearly saying,
"Yes, Sir.  Yes, PLEASE!"

Ya, I'm going to be a worthless wanton slut today!
=======================================

I'm talking to him on the phone a few minutes ago.

"You're a sadistic bastard, you know?"

"Am I?"

"I was so worked up and you just went to work."

"It's my job, isn't it?"

haha, funny play on words there.

"Yes, Sir."

"Just say thank you."

"Thank you, Sir."

What else was I to say?!

Electric Nipples...Mmmm Good!

"Lay across my bed, fiona," he commands in a low, patient voice.

Oh no - is my only thought as I lay across his bed.

"Take off your shirt."

I am now laying across his bed with my pants on - he had me remove my bra earlier in the evening.   I know he's planning on playing...it's far to early to be secluded in our room to not play.  Oh, what does he have in mind.

"Close your eyes, fiona.  Goodgirl (yes, he says it like it's one word).  Now keep them closed, little one."

I feel...Oh...OH, he's putting something on my nipples.  It's cold and covers - like an inch and a half around my nipple.  It's foreign, I don't know what it is.  I feel the pull to open my eyes, but want to be good.  That disconnect - desire to open - desire to please is arousing, intoxicating.

Ohmygod, ohmygod...prickles, stings, little tiny stabs of electricity start to go through my nipples.  HOLY SHIT, he got out the TENS machine...we discussed this, but never did.  Ohmygod.  It feels painful, but just barley.  It is intense in all the right ways.

He lets me adjust to this feeling, all the while adding to it.  He's changing the intensity of the TENS and his other hand is rubbing, gently, his fingertips along my body.  Touching around my belly button.  Going in and out, up my side and down my arm, around my neck, giving it a squeeze.  AAHHHHH.

He touches me all over, eventually making his way back down my navel.  He unbuttons my jeans and slips them off along with my panties.  He pushes my knees apart and gently touches my calfs, my knees, my thighs.  He wanders his fingers around my soft, warm folds.  He touches my wetness and spreads it around my lips.  He dips his fingers into my warm honey, making me moan even louder.

After building the tension inside of me, he removes his fingers and quickly replaces them with The Dildo.  It's so large as he gently stretches me as he invades my pussy.  I'm so tight around it, it's not sliding in easily even though I am oh, so wet.

"If its a bit hard for you to take, that's ok. I want you to take it anyway I give it to you.  Do you understand, fiona?"  he says.

With those words, I relax and the dildo slides in.  He fucks me with it slow - in and out.  He makes sure its considerable length is naturally lubricated with my nectar before he pushes it harder and faster.

The tingling on my nipples, the penetration that is so filling and rough and claiming.  Oh, I am so....horny.

"What are you imagining, fiona?" he asks.
"you're putting a big dick inside me." i breathlessly reply.

"Is it mine?  Is it someone else's?"

AHHHHH.  He fucks me with The Dildo and I come apart.

"Ask me for it." he commands.
         what the FUCK is it with him wanting me to ask??????
"Please make me take the big dick, sir." I breath.  "Please let me cum."

Now typically, I do NOT ask to cum, he doesn't EVER really control that.  It was where I was.  It was the wonton, horny, sexually deviant, slut that was deep inside me screaming for freedom.

and with that...he renews his assault, turning up the TENS and fucking me with recless abandon and I CUM...HUGE.

He removes The Dildo and I close my knees and feel so bereft, so empty - cranving fullness!

I hear a zip but don't look as I roll my knees back and forth - my body apart from my mind.

He removes the TENS from my nipples.  He sucks on each and Oh, it feels like warm ocean waves rolling over my overly sensitive nubs.  He leans up and with no preamble, he's inside of me.  His shirt on, jeans on, zipper open allowing his cock to mate up with my sex. He starts to move and he's not being any too gentile...he's fucking in roughly the same manner he was with The Dildo.  My hands go up to his chest and push against him.

I want.  I want his cock inside - as deep as I can.  He's slamming into me and I'm leavering his torso to get him as deep inside as possible. He's pumping into me and I cum apart. My Sir is a large man. He is tall and very muscular. I cum and my body clenches around him...but not just my pussy.  All of my muscles seem to tighten.  I am fuly supporting his upper body on my arms because I am pushing so hard. I cum and he cums and I just don't stop. I can feel my pussy gripping onto his cock with the power I have never experienced.  I can feel me milking him and know he has deposited his seed deep inside me.  He's stopped pumping and yet my body just continues to pulse. I am lost to the sensation, panting, shuddering, moaning...lost.
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He tucks me into bed and tells me he'll clean everything up. He kisses my forehead and turns off the light. I am thoroughly, roughly fucked and exhausted, lay sated.

Speaking of Needy...

OK....so speaking of needy...can I just say...

I 
   NEED 
              A 
                 PROPER 
                                  SPANKING!!!

Because...

• There have been holidays which, by their very nature, were a bit stressful
• We traveled a long distance
• There have been people out of school for two, count 'em TWO, weeks
• There have been other ears in the house for for-fucking-ever!
• I haven't had a proper spanking in too long (cause it's always been too long)
• I am me!!!

Now, don't get me wrong.  I've had quick spanks, a good spanking of my breasts and of course the lovely gift of pain.  In spite of these gifts from my Sir, I am still in need of a

good, 
    long, 
         sound 
              spanking!

I am needy!

Needy As Something Bad, hmmm

So I was driving down the road and typically, I listen to music.  But today, the radio happened to be on from the person who drove the car last - not me.  The program that was on had folks talking about people being needy and how terrible it is to be a needy person.  Needy for them was defined by:
   
     "Needing another person to fill their bucket"

So this distinguished emotional neediness from financial need or physical need.
     Physical:  I need to get transportation to work
     Financial: I need to make enough money so we have food.

Well first off, I really like that definition of need.

I start thinking, examining myself.  So I start with two questions;

1. Am I needy?
2. Is being needy in any emotional way truly a bad thing for me?

So I can understand...different strokes for different folks.  This is for me and for me alone.  Knowing me - knowing where I come from and what my current weakness are, this is where I stand on the issue.

1. Am I needy?   Yes and no.  I am not a high maintenance person (in the emotional way - not the spanking/sex way - those I am hehehe).  I am strong physically and emotionally.  I am self-reliant, self-aware, and capable.  Do I need my Sir?  HELL YES!!!  I need him like I need the air I breathe.  I  will not be incapable of paying bills or doing math (yes, nilla - I do like to do math), or write my name if he were all of a sudden not here.  I would, however, likely die of a broken heart.  So, yes - I am needy of HIM.
2. Is being needy in any emotional way truly a bad thing - FOR ME?  Ugh...once again, yes and no.  I would love to say no.  I would love to say that I'm totally fine with being needy - even just a little - in not an unhealthy way, I believe.  However, I also understand that makes me very vulnerable...but hell...aren't we all who love someone.  And the more intertwined our lives are, the more connected we are, the more we love each other, the more inter-dependent we are on one-another, the more at risk we are of being seriously fucked up if something were to happen - a betrayal, a death, a decision to not be together...  So while getting hurt, being a drift, being unable to function due to grief and being distraught is a very bad thing, it is a trade-off for the positive benefits of loving and adoring this person.  

OK, so I know these people were talking around co-dependence.  Did you know that there is a section in WebMD on co-dependence?  Indeed...defined as "Codependency, by definition, means making the relationship more important to you than you are to yourself"  Well...after over 20 years of being together - building our lives together, spending all available time together and the added D/s dynamic...we are rather co-dependent.  Note, I said WE.  I think we are.  We choose our relationship more important.  Is that all bad?  According to many psychologists...often it is bad...according to many doctors - yes.  Hmmmm...Shit...I don't feel screwed up.   Sorry, that was sassy.  But really, it is an interesting conundrum to me.  

I haven't even gotten to my need for spankings, my need for Him to control me, my need for sex, my need to be used, my need for his love, my need for.........

Any thoughts on this neediness thing?