"Needing another person to fill their bucket"
So this distinguished emotional neediness from financial need or physical need.
Physical: I need to get transportation to work
Financial: I need to make enough money so we have food.
Well first off, I really like that definition of need.
I start thinking, examining myself. So I start with two questions;
- Am I needy?
- Is being needy in any emotional way truly a bad thing for me?
So I can understand...different strokes for different folks. This is for me and for me alone. Knowing me - knowing where I come from and what my current weakness are, this is where I stand on the issue.
- Am I needy? Yes and no. I am not a high maintenance person (in the emotional way - not the spanking/sex way - those I am hehehe). I am strong physically and emotionally. I am self-reliant, self-aware, and capable. Do I need my Sir? HELL YES!!! I need him like I need the air I breathe. I will not be incapable of paying bills or doing math (yes, nilla - I do like to do math), or write my name if he were all of a sudden not here. I would, however, likely die of a broken heart. So, yes - I am needy of HIM.
- Is being needy in any emotional way truly a bad thing - FOR ME? Ugh...once again, yes and no. I would love to say no. I would love to say that I'm totally fine with being needy - even just a little - in not an unhealthy way, I believe. However, I also understand that makes me very vulnerable...but hell...aren't we all who love someone. And the more intertwined our lives are, the more connected we are, the more we love each other, the more inter-dependent we are on one-another, the more at risk we are of being seriously fucked up if something were to happen - a betrayal, a death, a decision to not be together... So while getting hurt, being a drift, being unable to function due to grief and being distraught is a very bad thing, it is a trade-off for the positive benefits of loving and adoring this person.
OK, so I know these people were talking around co-dependence. Did you know that there is a section in WebMD on co-dependence? Indeed...defined as "Codependency, by definition, means making the relationship more important to you than you are to yourself" Well...after over 20 years of being together - building our lives together, spending all available time together and the added D/s dynamic...we are rather co-dependent. Note, I said WE. I think we are. We choose our relationship more important. Is that all bad? According to many psychologists...often it is bad...according to many doctors - yes.
Hmmmm...Shit...I don't feel screwed up. Sorry, that was sassy. But really, it is an interesting conundrum to me.
I haven't even gotten to my need for spankings, my need for Him to control me, my need for sex, my need to be used, my need for his love, my need for.........
Any thoughts on this neediness thing?