Saturday, January 19, 2013

No Mind-Reading

"I can't be expected to know what 
you aren't telling me you need."
                                                                           Sir says to me

Ugh, sometimes I forget.  As much as I discuss communication as being the be-all-end-all...periodically, I fall off the communication-wagon.  Sir and I have had an amazing relationship from the beginning...we have ALWAYS communicated frequently and well.  HOWEVER, sometimes, I fall into the trap of thinking that he should know what I want, he should know what I need.  Without a clue - without a word - without a hint from body language.  He should know.  

And when he doesn't, I'm hurt and mad and often petulant.  Typically after this, we reset and talk and work things through and he reminds me to talk to him...to communicate with him...that he isn't a mind reader, that...

he can't be expected to know what I'm not telling him.

DUH!

14 comments:

  1. He can't read your mind then Fiona? Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly Joolz. Apparently my model Sir didn't come with mind reading capability. Bummer, huh?

      =)
      fiona

      Delete
  2. I am sure he understands.

    Hug,
    joey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He understands that I need to talk to him...it's me who seemingly forgets...UGH...I hate that I KNOW, but then seemingly completely lapse. It is something that we periodically revisit.

      Hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  3. Then why do you expect him to know?

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    Replies
    1. You would think I was brighter than that...I AM!!!

      I don't know what my problem is, but every once and a while I get this idea that he should be able to just read my mind.

      ~fiona

      Delete
  4. I think we all fall into this trap on occasion, especially when we have been in a long term relationship. I know I do it sometimes too :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks faerie...I'm glad I'm not the only one. I don't know why I do it, but it certainly isn't the first time, and sadly I would imagine it won't be the last.

      Glad you are home safe and sound!
      ~fiona

      Delete
  5. You know I have been there..recently. Nice to have company...hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. Welcome to my world abby...It is nice to have company for sure! I appreciate your kindred spirit. What can we do to STOP going there?

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  6. My husband used to think I should just *know* too. It was very frustrating for both of us. Not that we are the most amazing communicators now... but we don't have that conflict anymore. actually - ha - maybe i have just learned to "know"!

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    Replies
    1. I think it would be easier to be the person who was NOT knowing than the person who thought they should...but that's silly really...it sucks either way. SO do you think you have just become psychic or what was your solution to that problem? I would love to know some ideas so that I don't fall into this same abyss again =)

      Thanks,
      fiona

      Delete
  7. Sadly, it doesn't work even with communication. The other night I texted my husband exactly what I wanted, and he texted back that would be fine. And yet, at the end of the day, he decided to go out with some friends to the gym instead. Ugh.

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    Replies
    1. Sorry cammie...that is really frustrating. Did you talk to him about it? Did you explain your disappointment?

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete

Thank you very much for sharing your comments. This blogland world has become so much more meaningful because of the conversations that y'all have with me through comments...REALLY!

I appreciate them all and will endeavor to answer EVERY comment if at all possible!

THANK YOU
-fiona