Late Answers - I am so sorry

OK, so I got a bit lost in the woods and
didn't get the final answers to the March Questions asked.

I am sorry about the delay.
But, better late than never...
Here goes

abby asked:

As a Domme what is your favorite spanking implement? I'd say my favorite is the flogger because I can go for a long time and he really enjoys it, or the cane which I can use effectively on his balls :) 

As a sub/slave...what is your favorite spanking implement? I'd say NOT the cane!  His belt or His hand for sure!  Oh wait, I adore the flogger as well...it can make me soar! 

Which surfaced first...the Domme or the slave? They surfaced together...we were always switches - from the beginning.  I would say the very first would be that I was tied up by Him and he was slightly more dominant (hence the tieing up)...but I quickly returned the favor.   

Have you ever been to a spanking party or dungeon?  No, but I would both LOVE LOVE LOVE to go, and be terrified and feel totally out of place and embarrassed at the same time - if you know what I mean.  It's been a LONG standing fantasy of mine to do that, though.

And finally.....a genie appears and you get 3 wishes..(kinky wishes)
1 for you The ability to be completely submissive - or even MORE submissive.
1 for someone else ...your choice Kind of goes with the previous one, that Sir be more overtly dominant, but still gentile and kind when needed.
1 something money cannot buy......TIME.  I am drowning in to do lists and lack of kink because of lack of time!  Calgon - take me away!

DelFonte asked:

What do you get out of being dominant that's different to being a sub?  I certainly have a feeling of dominance...ok - so I have a feeling of control and power that I don't have when I'm a sub.  But with that also comes a feeling of great responsibility.  It is a mentally more engaging activity - what am I doing...what will he feel...what will come next...what is my goal...what are his non-verbal signals...etc.  

olivia asked:

What is your favorite thing he does when you're the sub? What does he like that you don't? What do you most like to do when you're the Domme? Are there things you do that he doesn't like?  My favorite thing he does when I'm a sub is to tie me up and fill me...or control me.  I love bondage!  LOVE IT!   

He likes golden showers and me...well...not so much.  

When I'm a Domme, I love to play mind games...it's such a cerebral thing for us.  I don't just mess with his mind, I follow through, but I certainly do get him going!

When I'm a Domme, I'm sure there is...not sure what they are :)  When I'm a sub, he hates it when I'm sassy and not submissive.  

Thanks all for asking and letting me share!!!

 

answer to ronnie's question

1. 1. 
      
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2. Thanks for asking questions...
3. please feel free to ask questions by commenting to this post
   ...anything anytime....
   as it's March - it's question month -
   so, ask away in comments
   (you can remain anonymous)

   1. 
      
   2. 
      
   3. ronnie asked, "Do you have a fantasy that you would love to live out?  Do you believe in ghosts?"
   4. Answer: 
      Thanks ronnie...both great questions.  The easy one first.  Do I believe in ghosts?  Well, I guess so.  I'm not a huge paranormal person, but I certainly believe in spirits.
   5. OK...so...fantasy.  Well, I fantasize about Sir taking me to a club of some sort...a BDSM club... and putting me in a stockade (neck and wrists bound).  He puts on nipple clamps and talks..caring, objectifying, owning.  He puts a spreader bar on my ankles and then tells me to stay very still, not to speak and to open my mouth.  He fucks my mouth - but then stops before he cums and moves behind me and spanks me.  He works me up and then when I start wiggling a lot, he rubs and switches back to my mouth.  He does this several times, then as he's fucking my mouth, I feel my ass being paddled.  It's in counterpoint to his thrusts into my mouth.  After he cums, he offers the other person paddling me to use my mouth.  He puts a sign next to me offering my mouth for pleasure and my ass for paddling.  :)
   6. Ya, so...um...I may need to go masturbate now :)  Thanks for getting my mind going ronnie.

Answers to ksst and del's questions

1. Thanks for asking questions...
   

   

   
   

   it's kind of fun to think outside of my little box -
   as this is a sex blog - that's kinda funny
   (outside of my little box, Bwahahaha)
2. Anyway...please feel free to ask questions by commenting to this post
   ...anything anytime....
   but as it's March - it's question month -
   so, ask away in comments (you can remain anonymous)

   1. 
      ancilla_ksst asked, "How are things going now?  The last few posts were kind of not quite sure where things are?"
   2. Answer:
      Personally, I'm a mess. I'm grieving and stressing and trying to get
      my life back to some semblance of order.  
      
      Sexually, I'm a mess.
      I fluctuate between being a-sexual and submissive
      but in a relationship that fluctuates 
      between me being a Domme and a sub
      
      Professionally, I'm a mess.
      I dislike the folks I work for now,
      but enjoy the work and am good at it.
      I'm trying to decide what to be when I grow up
      (again).
      
      So...I think I'm still a bit of a mess.
      But, as ever, I'm optimistic...
   3. 
      

      DelFonte asked, "If TTWD is different from a year ago, what has worked, what hasn't?"  

   4. Answer: 
      It is HUGELY different.  I was solidly ensconced in my submission.  Actually, I had just given my Sir my Slave registration papers at Valentines Day.  Man, could that only be a year ago?  It seems like forever.  I was holding onto my submission with all my worth...it was helping me cope with caring for my terminally ill mother.  
      
      What worked...my mindset was great, I was committed and had embraced my life as Sir's property.  Sir was very engaged and attentive.  We spent a lot of time, together, focused on each other, supporting each other.  Sex was awesome and frequent - daily or multiple times a day frequently.
      
      What didn't work...Sir was consistent and sometimes inconsistent.  I found times when I was pushing it, simply to get attention. That's silly - I know.  I also had such a desire to connect with others...be a part of the community where we live.  I don't know if that would have been positive or not, but that had always been a yearning last year.
   5. Interesting questions!  Thanks to you both!!
   6. Hugs,Fiona
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Lady Ps Question

1. Well...March is over but Lady P asked on last question.  Feel free to ask questions whenever you want.  

LadyPasked and I'll answer:

1. What is the story behind your blog-name fiona?  Why did you choose that name as your alter ego?

Well...so blog name...are you referring to 
fiona, 
SirQandme, 
SirQsmlb...?

fiona...as my alter ego...
Quite simply, I love the name, it's one of my favorite names :)

SirQ and me....well, that's who we are.  He IS SirQ and I'm me :)

in terms of Sir Q's mlb...the mlb part can be explained in this post
all about the name...but it's something Sir has called me for ... forever.  "my little bitch"  

Hope that answered your question.

Blondie's Questions

1. Please feel free to ask more questions or follow-up, March Question Month is over half over :)  I'm also happy to ask my Sir, as I know you rarely actually hear from him…as he doesn't read or write anywhere in blogland.  But I can ask and relay information.

Blondieasked and I'll answer:

1.  Do you have, or plan on having a collar. And if so, when and where would you wear it. 

Sir would like to get a collar for me.  He has mentioned it many times. He wants a choker that I would wear all the time.  I am reticent.  I don't love tight choker collars.  I don't know...we'll see.   Maybe  a compromise?  Does anyone have any recommendations?  I was thinking anklet maybe?  

2.  Is there a fantasy that Sir has that you will make happen?
Sir has frequently fantasized about allowing another in a scene with us.  He's thought of a woman that he can Top and who will in turn Top me. He would like to see me eat her out and suck on her tits and her spank me and fuck me.  Similarly, he's fantasized about giving me to another man to be used.  As for me making them happen...I would love to - either.  But only under his direction and command.  But I would love to serve another as part of his command.  I doubt he will ever act on these fantasies, but I would certainly be willing :) 

Graeme and tori's Questions

1. Please feel free to ask more questions or follow-up.  I'm also happy to ask my Sir, as I know you rarely actually hear from him…as he doesn't read or write anywhere in blogland.  But I can ask and relay information.

Graeme asked and I'll answer:
What is the best way for you to cum?
Well right now, I'd say it's with Sir's magic fingers.  Even after all this time, he's learned new tricks...and he can play me like a fiddle!  Fireworks ain't got nothing on Him!  After that, I'd say with clit stimulation...i.e. a vibrator!  You add any anal play to that, pain, nipple stimulation and it just ups the anti!

tori asked and I'll answer:

1.  How do you feel you have grown since starting this journey?
WOW.  Well...I believe our communication, which started out strong, has only gotten better.  I also have, um, mellowed?  OK, so that's the nice way of saying that I'm so much less bitchy.  I don't argue with Sir all the time.  I am more patient, polite, settled, content!  That's all as a result of our journey!

2.  Would you like to go to a bdsm/kinky club? why or why not?

Oh would I tori!  I would so love to.  Many a fantasy have taken place in a club.  I am positive I would be terrified...but would so love the experience.  I would love to witness others, have the freedom to publicly be...US.  I would love for Sir to be able to spank me in public...or have others do so...or more!  A girl can dream :)

Abby's Questions

1. Please feel free to ask more questions or follow-up.  I'm also happy to ask my Sir, as I know you rarely actually hear from him…as he doesn't read or write anywhere in blogland.  But I can ask and relay information.

abby asked and I'll answer:
1.  List 3 times in your kinky bucket list
Hmmmm...well, I don't have an explicit bucket list...but let me think.
     1.  Go to BDSM club.

     2.  Have another woman play with us.

     3.  Be used by another with Sir's oversight.
2.  List 3 items in you non kinky bucket list
     1.  Travel to ... everywhere...anywhere.  I love to travel!

     2.  Take my children out of the country again

     3.  Go back to school and get another degree
3.  What is your favorite way to de-stress?
     Well...this is so easy!  SEX!   If not sex, then spanking.  In a perfect world...BOTH!   :)
4.  What present would be at the top of your birthday wish list?
     Funny...my birthday is coming soon :)  I made a list for my Sir last week and at the top was a Hitachi.  The three following items were...violet wand, nipple suction, new wrist/ankle cuffs.

SubHub in Phoenix Question

1. Please feel free to ask more questions or follow-up.  I'm also happy to ask my Sir, as I know you rarely actually hear from him…as he doesn't read or write anywhere in blogland.  But I can ask and relay information.

SubHub in Phoenix asked and I'll answer:
1.  You are obviously excited about the prospect transition from submissive to slave, as you should be .... What, if anything, makes you nervous about that transition into a slave?  
Hmmm Nervous.  Well, I suppose the thing that I'm most nervous about is failing.  Not that I anticipate that...and I don't actually expect that we will...but life changes and we evolve along with it.  We'll see where the wind blows us.

2.  What are your hard limits?... what are your soft limits? I guess that's 2 more
Hahahah....well..As Sir and I were together ... FOREVER ... we've evolved into our more formal D/s relationships from longtime switches very slowly but slowly.  Because of that, we've never had formal limit listings.  That said...I'm guessing hard limits might include...
blood.  Sir doesn't like blood so needle and knife play is out for him.  
scat.  I'm not into scat - pretty sure he isn't either.   

ok...so truth.
I'm writing this response and then wonder what I haven't thought of because I couldn't think of anything past those two answers...so ... Google.  I googled BDSM Limit List and the first link I clicked on gave me an extensive list ... so I looked and this is what I determined based on the list...

I will add....

• Weight Gain.  I struggle with my weight.  I'm not thin. I wouldn't ever allow myself to intentionally gain weight.
• Swallowing Urine.  Just not my thing.
• Shaving Hair (Head).  Sir loves my hair to be long.  He wouldn't ever allow that.
• Serving as toilet (feces).  Not interested.
• Serving as ashtray.  
• Mummification.  That may be panic inducing for me.  
• Infantilism.  
• Given away to another Dom (perm).  I belong to Sir.  He's my husband, my love and my life.
• Gas masks.  I'm just not interested.
• Diaper (soil).  Nah.
• Catheterization.  I used to struggle with yeast infections...I just don't want to tempt fate.
• Brown showers (scat).  No thanks.

complete list from the website:
Abrasion
Age play
Anal sex
Anal plugs (small)
Anal plugs (large)
Anal plug (public, under clothes)
Animal roles
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)
Aromas
Asphyxiation
Auctioned for charity
Bathroom use control
Bestiality
Beating (soft)
Beating (hard)
Blindfolds
Being serviced (sexual)
Being bitten
Breast bondage
Breath control
Branding
Boot worship
Bondage (light)
Bondage (heavy)
Bondage (multi-day)
Bondage (public, under clothing)
Breast whipping
Brown showers (scat)
Cages (locked inside of)
Caning
Catheterization
Cells/Closets (locked inside of)
Chains
Chamber pot use
Chastity belts
Chauffeuring
Choking
Chores (domestic service)
Clothespins
Cock worship
Collars (worn in private)
Collars (worn in public)
Competitions (with other Subs)
Corsets (wearing)
Corset training(waist reduction)
Cuffs (leather)
Cuffs (metal)
Cutting
Dental work(elective)
Diapers(wetting)
Diapers(soiling)
Dilation
Dildoes
Double penetration
Electricity
Enemas
Enemas(non-water)
Enforced chastity
Erotic dance(public)
Examinations (physical)
Exercise (forced/required)
Exhibitionism (friends)
Exhibitionism (strangers)
Eye contact restrictions
Face slapping
Fantasy abandonment
Fantasy rape
Fantasy gang-rape
Fear (being scared)
Fisting (anal)
Fisting (vaginal)
Flogging (light)
Flogging (heavy)
Following orders
Foot worship
Forced bedwetting
Forced dressing
Forced homosexuality
Forced masturbation
Forced nudity (private)
Forced nudity (around others)
Forced servitude
Forced smoking(non-smoker)
Force-feeding
Full head hoods
Gags (cloth)
Gags (rubber)
Gags (tape)
Gags(phallic)
Gags(inflated)
Gas masks
Genital sex
Given away to another Dom (temp)
Given away to another Dom (perm)
Golden showers
Gun play
Hairbrush spankings
Hair pulling
Hand jobs (giving)
Hand jobs (receiving)
Harems (serving w/other subs)
Harnessing (leather)
Harnessing (rope)
Having food chosen for you
Having clothing chosen for you
Head (giving fellatio)
High heel worship
High heel wearing(forced)
Homage with tongue (non-sexual)
Hoods
Hot oils (on genitals)
Hot waxing
Housework (doing)
Human puppy dog
Humiliation (private)
Humiliation (public)
Hypnotism
Ice cubes
Immobilization
Infantilism
Initiation rites
Injections
Japanese rope bondage
Interrogations
Kidnapping
Kneeling
Knife play
Leather clothing
Leather restraints
Lectures for misbehavior
Licking (non-sexual)
Lingerie (wearing)
Manacles & Irons
Manicures (giving)
Massage (giving)
Massage (receiving)
Medical scenes
Modeling for erotic photos
Mouth bits
Mummification
Nipple clamps
Nipple weights
Oral/anal play (rimming)
Over-the-knee spanking
Orgasm denial
Orgasm control
Outdoor scenes
Outdoor sex
Pain (severe)
Pain (mild)
Persona training
Phone sex (serving Dom)
Phone sex (serving Dom's friends)
Phone sex(calling at random)
Phone sex(commercial)
Piercing (temporary)
Piercing (permanent)
Plastic surgery
Prison scenes
Prostitution(public pretend)
Prostitution(actual)
Pony slave
Public exposure
Punishment Scene
Pussy whipping
Pussy worship
Riding crops
Riding the horse (crotch tort.)
Rituals
Religious scenes
Restrictive rules on behavior
Rubber/latex clothing
Rope body harness
Saran wrapping
Scratching - getting
Scratching - giving
Sensory deprivation
Serving
Serving as art
Serving as ashtray
Serving as furniture
Serving as a maid
Serving as toilet (urine)
Serving as toilet (feces)
Serving as waitress
Serving orally (sexual)
Serving others (supervised)
Serving others (unsupervised)
Sexual deprivation (short term)
Sexual deprivation (long term)
Shaving (body hair)
Shaving (head hair)
Skinnydipping
Sleep deprivation
Sleepsacks
Slutty clothing (private)
Slutty clothing (public)
Spanking
Spandex clothing
Speech restrictions
Speculums (Anal)
Speculums (vaginal)
Spreader bars
Standing in corner
Stocks
Straight jackets
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)
Strap-on-dildos (wearing)
Strapping (full body beating)
Suspension (upright)
Suspension (inverted)
Suspension (horizontal)
Supplying partners for Dom
Swallowing semen
Swallowing urine
Swallowing feces
Swapping (one other couple)
Swinging (multiple couples)
Tattooing
Teasing
Tickling
Topless Beaches
Triple penetration
Uniforms
Including others
Vaginal dildo
Verbal humiliation
Vibrator on genitals
Voyeurism (watching others)
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)
Video (watching others)
Video (recordings of you)
Voice training
Water torture
Waxing (hair removal)
Wearing symbolic jewelery
Weight loss(<25 lbs)
Weight loss(>25 lbs)
Weight gain(<25 lbs)
Weight gain(25-50 lbs)
Weight gain(>50 lbs)
Whipping
Wooden paddles
Wrestling

DelFonte's Question

Thanks for the questions.

I really appreciate them, really!

It's interesting to explore questions that people ask...think about something I haven't thought about before...things that I often just hadn't thought about or explored - both vanilla and kinky.  So...really - Thank YOU!

Please feel free to ask more or follow-up.  I'm also happy to ask my Sir, as I know you rarely actually hear from him...as he doesn't read or write anywhere in blogland.  But I can ask and relay information.

DelFonte asked and I'll answer:

1. What are you looking forward to most about being a slave and how do you think the shift to M/s will compare to how your dynamic currently works?

I actually think it is our normal D/s but just...more.  I am working on being much more obedient and he has certainly been more...dominant on the whole.  I don't know if anything will change other than we have solidified our places much more than before.  I could be wrong, but that's my current thought.

2. What music have you been listening to lately?

A LOT!  I listen and sing all the time with the kids and without.  So...I pulled up my iPod play list and my most frequently placed recent files are...
      Take Me to Church by Hozier
      Centuries by Fall Out Boy
      Animals by Maroon V
      Lips are Movin by Meghan Trainor
      Style by Taylor Swift
      Fancy by Iggy Azalea
      Habits by Tove Lo 

March Questions

OOPS....I forgot!

It's March!

hehehehe

Well...here goes.

I,
     fiona,
cordially invite you,
     my readers,
to

A
S
K

...anything.
Ask Sir Q or me whatever you have been wondering.
Nothing is silly or stupid or trivial or unappreciated.
I will do my best to get answers to all.

Hugs,
fiona

My Wiring and Orgasm Denial

I know I have read many peoples posts which include orgasm denial as part of their dynamic.  This has never been something that Sir and I have explored or have any desire to explore.  I say that so confidently, but I don't think we've ever discussed it.  It seems amazing to me that after this many years, there are still things we've not discussed. 

I know Sir isn't interested in it, not from conversations about it, but because he knows me.  He knows how I work...and orgasm denial simply wouldn't work for me.  I don't know, maybe I'm broken (hehehe...ya, not broken, just not wired that way).  You see...for me the saying goes...absence makes the heart go wander (not absence makes the heart grow fonder).

Now I know, I wasn't talking about love or my heart, I was talking about orgasms.  But it still applies.  When I'm not very sexual, when I have no orgasms, when lust isn't fanned and hornyness isn't fueled, I simply want less.  I need less.  I desire less.  I grow accustomed to a new norm where less is there and adapt to want, need, fantasize about sex less.

So my question, dear blogland friends, is what's your take.

1.  How are you wired?  Get more, want more   OR   Get less, want more   OR   something else?
2.  Any idea why it is that way for you?
3.  Is your partner wired the same way?