Thursday, September 24, 2015

Gone

I am now an orphan.

I have lost my final living parent. 

I am gifted with amazing memories
And the piece of mind that I was at her side holding her as she died. 

But the loss is enormous. 

When I get back home, 
I will have been away for three weeks. 

With all of the stress, emotion and exhaustion...I am understandably 
Very a-sexual. 

I miss my Master - though he came for support - but had to go back prior to me. 

So I miss my Master. 

I miss my life. 

I miss my Mom. 

I miss my submission. 

A lot is just gone.

It will return, but at the moment,

Gone. 

19 comments:

  1. I am so very sorry, i was where you are exactly 1 year ago.....i have started to be able to smile when i remember her. I will remember you and your family in my prayers and thoughts...
    hugs aby

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    Replies
    1. I know - I remember...thank you for your comment! Prayers and thoughts are always a good thing

      hugs,
      fiona

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  2. Replies
    1. Thanks ksst...I appreciate it.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  3. Fiona, you have my deepest condolences. Remember all the good times you had together.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Hermione...working on that!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  4. I'm so sorry. I lost my dad 3 years ago and still miss him every day. One thing that helped me get through it was just being grateful for having him in my life, for getting to be his daughter, and trying to focus on all the good things, and on trying to live my life in a way that made me happy and fulfilled, because I know he'd be glad to see me happy. Somehow, that helped a lot. Best wishes to you and your family, be gentle and kind to yourself during this grieving period.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Tamar...I appreciate your advice. I will try being gentle and kind...it's just rough.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  5. So sorry. Thinking of you and your family, Keeping your all in the light.

    hugs
    Del

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Del...I appreciate it!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  6. I am so sorry Fiona, thinking of you at this very difficult time, xxx

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    Replies
    1. Thanks julie...you know it's just rough.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  7. Oh Fiona,

    I am so sorry. Thinking of you and your family at this sad time.

    Love and hugs,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    Replies
    1. Thanks ronnie - I appreciate it!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  8. Dear Fiona - I'm so sorry - thinking of you, sending light and love... <3

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  9. My heart understands you more than I ever wish were possible. I too am recently an orphan- no parents sure fucks with your head. I am so sorry this is your reality Fiona. I am truly, truly here if you need to unload. The darkness can be very lonely.
    XOXO Pearl

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    Replies
    1. That orphan thing really sucks!!! Thanks for your comment, I do seriously appreciate it!!!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  10. Very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad a few months ago and am going through similar feelings.

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Thank you very much for sharing your comments. This blogland world has become so much more meaningful because of the conversations that y'all have with me through comments...REALLY!

I appreciate them all and will endeavor to answer EVERY comment if at all possible!

THANK YOU
-fiona