New Year's Affirmation

I was quietly laying in bed with Sir last night.  The house is dark and quiet.  The quilt and comforter lay heavily atop us, swaddling us in warmth.  My Sir has me tucked into his side, my head raising and falling on his chest and my hand gently enveloping his cock and balls.  He pulls his hand up and is stroking my hair.  I feel so safe, warm, loved, comforted....content.

"With the holidays and traveling, it feels like I have lost some of my submission.  I miss it." I confess in a whisper.  I love when it is dark and we are snuggled and it feels like I can say anything.  It's not like I hold back, typically, but in this scenario, cloaked in darkness and safe in his arms, I don't feel embarrassed about anything.

"Well, this past year has been your year of submission, hasn't it fiona?"

My hard stops.  I am terrified.  Does he mean that we're done?  Does he want out?  Is he done with TTWD?  I've finally become confident in my position, in my desire, in my place.

Crap, Shit, Fuck.  I sit up - criss-cross my legs and look at him...Yes, it's dark, so I can only see an outline.  I'm holding my breath.

"Hasn't it, fiona?"  he repeats.

Breathe, breathe fiona - I tell myself.
"But I don't want it to end.  I was just saying that i missed it.  I have missed sitting at your feet, putting on your shoes, I have missed being spanked - Oh, God have I missed being spanked.  I know it hasn't been that long, but I have MISSED being demonstrably submissive to you." I say with a strong voice.

"I've missed it too, fiona.  I like you being a good girl.  I love you being my good little girl."  he replies.  Oh thank heavens.  Really!  OH THANK HEAVENS!!

It seems poignant that this conversation happens when it does.  It happens just before the new year and it served to reaffirms our places, it reaffirms our desires, it reaffirms our roles.

Last night and today, Sir has put his hand (and brush) where his mouth was...he has begun the spankings and I am feeling better.

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I have gone through so many emotions in this past year.  I have felt...

...ashamed that I liked to be spanked
...nervous about wanting to be submissive all the time
...insecure about my ability to please him.
...selfish for wanting to always be submissive (remember we had been life long switches)
...vulnerable for vocalizing my deepest desires and accepting them as part of me
...satisfied that I was doing a good job when I did as I was told
...content to follow his directions, even in humiliation or sexual scenes which pushed my boundaries
...free and whole being a submissive to his Dominant
...excited-as-hell to be His
...happy to be able to accept my submissive, spanko, kinky desires
...horny, wanton, slutty... oh I've felt those too.

I am grateful for this year.  I am grateful for this blog.  Without Conina's encouragement, I would never have started this blog.  Thank you. I have blossoming friendships with a couple of blogland folks and am grateful for those.  They make my life much more complete.  I am grateful for you!  I have learned so much and been provoked into meaningful introspection by my reading of the wonderful blogs out there.  Thank you for allowing me to join in your journeys.  Most surprisingly, I have grown to really love the "conversation" that I am able to have with y'all who comment.  It means more to me than you know.

Happy New Year my kinky blogland friends.  I wish you and yours a New Year with ENOUGH!

fiona

Merry Christmas My Kinky Friends

Merry Christmas!  

With travel, family, friends, parties, shopping, wrapping....phew!  It's a lot.  

I am so content with my life with Sir.  Even with all of the business listed above, with staying in places that are not our home, with parties and family abounding, TTWD is still in tact.  When I struggle, he's there to ground me, recenter me, love me and spank me.  

We've had significantly less sex than we typically do, but that's to be expected.  Wonderfully, though, we are still managing some sex and it is very satisfying.  

He's played with me every night as he goes to sleep.  Last night after playing with my nipples and getting me all worked up, he mounted me.  He slowly and quietly pumped in and out.  As he played with my nipples, I worked hard to measure my breathing absorb the pleasure and be very very quiet.  He quickened and I could tell he was getting close.  He shifted, unexpectedly, and in moment was inside my mouth and I was sucking him to completion.  Nice, neat and oh so comforting.  With his cock squeaky-clean, he snuggled me into his side, caressed my cheek, kissed my forehead and wished his "good-girl" goodnight.  Oh, how I adore this man.  

Tonight, as Santa cruises over head, when children and parents are nestled in their beds, this will be what Sir unwraps.

Merry Christmas My Kinky Friends.  I am grateful for my blogland friends and wish you all a good night.

Doesn't Take Much

I'm laying in bed on top of the covers.
He lays beside me.

He reaches over and one hand wanders to my jean clad leg.
He rubs one of my thighs.

His hand roams to my apex.
He spanks my pussy, over my jeans.

He hits with a thud, cupping his hand.
He spanks over and over. Ahhhh.

When he stops, he squeezes,
then he rubs, up and down.

"Your a little wet through these pants."

Fantasy Fulfilled (Part 4)

This is continued from Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3.  It's also the end.  

I can hear some guy talking to Sir downstairs.  NO, it's not what you think.  I think the damn electrician stopped by early.  He wasn't due until this afternoon.  I must say, hearing Sir conducting the business of our home with someone else - all the while I am bound, blindfolded, gagged, collared and have an enormous dildo stuck in my, now very well used, pussy upstairs is ....  HOLY HELL HOT!

except, ummm...except, he didn't put his large flannel shirt over me, so, umm, I'm not feeling hot.

I breath, I meditate, I - I ...

Shit, I have to pee.

Actually, now I'm cold and I have to pee.

He's talking - what on earth are they doing, it's taking forever.  I can hear them walking around.  Oh My God, are they chaty-fucking-cathys??

I have this mental struggle between the calm of meditation and the knowledge that I am getting colder and colder and have to pee!

"ah-a-a-a"

I startle myself.  I must have just made that noise.  I hadn't intended to make a noise.  Wow, how did that whimper escape me?  No, focus fiona.

I breath, focus on meditation...

I start to cry, gently.  I'm not aware of it until the tears runs down my cheek.  They aren't able to escape down the side of my head, because the blindfold is absorbing them.  I'm not really that upset, I think I am simply emotionally raw from the system overload.

I am soooo completely consumed with myself, I don't even  hear him open the door.  He's by my side in a flash and untying me.  "What's wrong, fiona?"  He says in a slow and steady, concerned voice.  "I'm so cold and I really have to pee,"  I say.  I expect him to pull off the blindfold and let me up.  I don't move from the position he put me in, though I am no longer bound there.  He places on warm hand on my chest, grounding me, then moves the other to The Dildo.  He starts to move it slowly in and out.  I cum almost immediately.  You know, full bladder and all.

Once he's pulled one orgasm from me, he starts to move the dildo a bit faster.  He's moving it in and out and then side to side - almost stretching me.  He's not being gentile anymore.  He pulls me over to the side of the bed onto my side and moves my hands, still above my head, but pulls my legs so that they are completely open.  I'm half on my side and half on my back.  He unzips his pants with one hand...I guess when your stiff cock is holding your pants in place, it kinda acts like another hand.  He takes it out of his boxers, grabs the back of my head and I instinctively open my mouth.

"Close your mouth, fiona."  Ahhh, no I want cock...  He takes his cock and smears his precum all over my face.  He rubs and smacks.  Oh, how objectifying.  His next command comes with one word, "Open!"  I do and am immediately rewarded with a cock in my mouth.

I am making the  noises of a rabid animal.  I am truly out of my body.   He flips my legs so that I am mostly on my stomach with my head to the side still firmly latched around his throbbing member.  He pulls The Dildo from my pussy and pushes it against my tight rosebud.  OH - OH...I'll need a gallon of lube before that thing is going to be able to enter me, and that's IF it's even able to!  SHIT.

As I begin to panic about the dildo and my tiny, tiny opening (compared to the massive shaft he's about to shove in there), I realize I have stopped sucking on his cock.  He moves my mouth so that his pleasure is not diminished.  If I stop sucking, he'll fuck my mouth just the same.   I don't know if all of the orgasms and endorphins have caused me to leave my body, or if I am just soaring weightlessly in subspace, but I have a moment, where my entire body relaxes.  My rosebud blooms.  My breathing softens and he's pushed The Dildo into me.  My ass stretches to accommodate and the guttural noises involuntarily coming out of my body are unfamiliar to me.  He's fucking both ends of me.  I have
 T H E    M O S T    A M A Z I N G     O R G A S M!

I truly don't know what happened next.  I know that I was on my stomach with a ridiculously large dildo in my ass and a beautiful work of art in my mouth.  The next moment, I look up and for the first time since this adventure started, I can see.  He's removed my blindfold and the glorious Dom of a man is staring into my eyes.  He's hovering over me, pumping his cock into my gushing pussy.  I still have The Dildo stuck in my ass, though it is no longer moving, so my pussy is tighter around his cock.  He pins me to the bed with his gaze as he fucks.  I am really outside of this whole scene.  I see him.  I feel him.  But yet, I don't.

He throws his head back and cums with a scream.  Oh, it's like seeing a wild animal after a hunt and I have so enjoyed being his prey.


----------------------------------------------------------------------


I am sore as I write this.  I have have been WELL used!  I have constant reminders of the flogging, the clamping and the hours of fucking.  Every time I feel....um....something, I smile.  I am happy!

Fantasy Fulfilled (Part 3)

This is continued from Part 1 & Part 2...more to come...

I am warm, comfortable, and calm.  I feel the enormous dildo in my pussy.   I am secure in my place and His.  As I am bound, collared, gagged and blindfolded, I am exactly how he wants me to be and exactly where he wants me to be.

I hear him walking down the hall.  I hear him open the door.  He walks over to me, pulls up his flannel shirt that was covering me and opens my legs.  He sits on the bed beside me and places a hand on my thigh, gently holding it in place.  Oh that hand is so gentile and comforting, yet wields the power take what he wants.  He begins to masturbate me slowly.

"Now fiona, I want you to tell me if you get sore.  Do you understand?  If you're sore, it's ok. I'll flip you over and use this in your ass.  Do you understand me, fiona?"

"uh-hu" I grunt through the ball gag.  Wow, that threat  statement, fills me with desire, deep and dark.  I simultaneously want him to use The Dildo in my ass and am terrified that I won't be able to take it - it's huge remember.  Oh, what is wrong with me?

He stands up, tells me to leave my legs butterflied.  *FUD*, he flogs my inner thighs.  He hits one and then the other.  Ah, it feels soooo good.  He moves so he's flogging my puss.  The small falls are tied in tiny knots.  They wheedle inside the folds of my pussy.  The larger knots hit my mound, my thigh, Ahhh.  He moves the falls upward and begins to flog my breasts.  It feels so good, but every time a large knot hits my nipple, my back flies off the bed.  It's like the clamps are being removed again.  They are so sensitive!  Oh, how I love to be flogged EVERYWHERE!  It's insane!

He puts the flogger down and leans in.   He sucks my nipple and it feels so good.  It feels like hot velvet engulfing my nipple.

He kneels on the bed and grabs my hair.  He pulls me up - as far as I can go given my restraints.  He pulls the ball gag out of my mouth and commands me to open my mouth.  He shoves his cock to the back of my throat and holds my head there.   As if I wasn't blazing before, I begin to suck like my life depended on it.  I am ravenous.  He reaches between my knees and moves the dildo in and out.  As he reaches a good pace with the dildo, he pulls my head on and off and is fucking my mouth at a pace that matches the dildo.  My mind goes blank and that electric surge, that starts in my core - moves quickly to my fingers and toes begins.  The electricity of my climax then surges through my limbs to my pussy and all of my energy flows to my pleasure points.   I feel so humiliated, so objectified, so used and taken and controlled.  Oh, how I love this!

*KNOCK*   *KNOCK*   *KNOCK*

ARE  YOU
F  U  C  K  I  N  G
KIDDING ME?????

He quickly sets me back down, pushes the dildo far into my pussy, zips up his pants, and walks to the door.  With an evil tone to his voice, he tells me not to move and giggles under his breath.

AARRGGHH!!

CWS Challenge #4

I will post my next part of the Fantasy Fulfilled tomorrow...

Spanky at Bright Bottom issued a challenge.  

Hope you enjoy my blow job related e-cards.

Fantasy Fulfilled (Part 2)

This is continued from Part 1...more to come...


He gives me a minute to control my breathing and come back to myself.  It takes a few minutes to be able to respond, to be able to move.  He tells me to lay on his bed.  I do as requested and he is by my side with a blindfold.  He places it over my eyes and secures it behind my ponytail.  My sense of sight is gone.

He takes my right ankle and ties .... YES ... a rope around it (oh how I love rope).  The rope itself is soft, but it is tied tightly - though he takes care to make sure my circulation is alright.  He ties the other end of the rope to a finial on the bed and pulls.  My right leg pulls down and open.  He takes my left ankle in his hand and deftly repeats the process.  This time when he pulls, not only does he pull my left leg apart, but my lips also open slightly, sending a shiver through my body as cool air hits my soft wet folds.

I can hear so clearly when I'm blindfolded.  I hear him pick up something that has metal on it, it's quietly jingling.  He cuffs my wrists and quickly connects them to the top bars on the headboard.  My arms can bend, but there is not enough slack for them to touch each other.  I then feel his hand at my neck and he is collaring me with a large wide leather collar with a ring.  He tightens it so that it is snug.  He then tugs at the ring and I can literally feel a bead of moisture escape my pussy.  I am collared and restrained.

I hear the jingle again, but instead of metal, I feel his warm fingers.  He begins to pull and twist my nipples.  He hardens both nipples and I am beginning to moan and move slightly when cold, hard, unforgiving, metal, hurt like a hell, Japanese clover clamps are placed on each nipple.  

"Oh, Oh, OHHHH, those, those, OHHH, they, oh, OHHH, hurt, theyhurt, theyhurttheyhurttheyhurt," I quickly spit out.  The clamps are biting, burning.  Oh, they burn and pinch and feel like my nipple may just be pulled off of my body - SHIT I hope that doesn't happen!  My nipples are on fire.  I slow my breathing and process the pain.  "They hurt," I say more calmly.  

"It is too much?" Sir asks patiently.  

"no, but just barely," I respond.

Sir lays my knee to the side and gently lays a hand on my thigh.  I love how grounded that touch makes me feel.  He instructs me to hold my knees out in a butterfly position - as much as possible with my ankles tethered.  He opens my pussy lips and without ceremony, simply dribbles lube down my fold.  It starts at my clit and feels like ice sliding down to my opening.  He takes ..... um .... oh that's The Dildo! I feel.  He's got the head of The Dildo smearing the lube up and down my slit.  Oh, I feel so...what am I feeling....I feel like he's playing with someTHING, that he's working with an inanimate object.  He takes the head of The Dildo and shoves it inside of me.  It's tight and he's being none-too-gentile.  He shoves it to the end of my opening so that it's resting on my cervix.  He leaves it there for a minute and leans up to my ear.

He whispers, "You need this.  You're going to be played with for hours.  You're going to be a good girl and stay right here and take everything that I want to give you.  What do you say?"

"Thank you, Sir." I respond in anticipation.  Oh, I want!  My nipples hurt, my pussy is full, I am bound, collared and blindfolded and I WANT!

Simultaneously, he begins to fuck my pussy with The Dildo and he pulls the FUCKING chain on the FUCKING clover clamps.  Pain and pleasure.  "OOOOOOOOHHHHH"  I SCREAM.  I come apart and he's fucking me hard.  He's ripping orgasms our of me, one after another.  I stop breathing, I arch my back and open my mouth in a silent scream.  As I do this, he removes the clovers and all of a sudden I realize that my nipples had stopped feeling...um....they stopped feeling at all, as I reached one of my climaxes.  But HOLY SHIT, as he removes them, I continue my silent scream but in a non-quiet manner.  Thank God the house is empty, the people three blocks away may have just heard me.

Sir stops as quickly as he started.  He shoves The Dildo deep into my puss and then commands me to close my legs.  He explains that he has a lot of work to do and that I need to to be quiet.  He then pushes the large ball gag into my mouth and fastens it.  He tells me that he will come back and check on me.  He covers me up with one of his large flannel shirts, kisses me, tweaks my nipples (HOLY OUCH), then tells me to be good and not to move.

Ha...I'm bound, gagged, collared and filled...how could I not be good?

Timing is everything.  His work phone rings and he answers it, walking out of the room and shutting the door.

Fantasy Fulfilled (Part 1)

Sir and I had a very LONG playtime and I wanted to capture it (for me and for y'all.) 
It's going to be in four shorter parts.  Sorry for the length.

I dressed for Sir this morning in a long wrap-around skirt, sexy thong, spaghetti strapped tank, sweater and three inch heals.  We ran errands, completely mundane life-stuff.  We went to the grocery store, the pet store, dropped the car to be serviced...yep, NOTHING sexy.  All the time I was walking outside or getting in and out of the car, I was a bit chilly in my thong and bare legs with cool air blowing up my skirt and onto my freshly shaved skin.

We got home and his look hardens.  Oh how I love that look.  "Go upstairs, get undressed and get out my box."  Well I scurry upstairs, relishing in the knowledge that we are alone in our home and he wants to play....with me!  I take off my heels and sweater.  I am looking for some music to put on when he opens the bedroom door.  "Well, you didn't make it very far, fiona."  I explain that I was looking for music and he cuts me off, pushes me flat on the bed, pulls up my skirt, and unceremoniously spanks me.  He doesn't warm up, he's hard and fast.  Just ten, but they are meaningful!
  

"Did I ask you to put on music?"  He asks.  

     "no, Sir," I sheepishly respond.

"Listen, fiona.     Be a good girl.      Take off your clothes."
     SPANK
"Get my box."
     SPANK
"Pick up your things, put them away, and Bend,"
     SPANK
"Over,"
     SPANK
"The"
     SPANK
"Bed."
     SPANK.  

The beautiful AND amazing feeling floggers!

"Yes, Sir." I say more confidently and immediately whirl around and comply.  I hang my clothes and put my shoes away and take out a flogger-box and lay over the side of the bed.  When he walks back over to me he picks up the box and opens it and with no further ado, begins to flog me.  He's flogging florentine - his and my first time and I must say it's impactful, both physically and emotionally (in all the best ways).  I know that's not a great adjective, but it's accurate. 

"Are these new?"  he asks.

OF COURSE THEY'RE NEW...
YOU KNOW WHAT WE OWN - I scream in my head.   

I purchased them as a gift for him and was waiting for the right time to give them to him.  I am rather addicted to Conina's floggers.  Her floggers have featured prominently in our play for a while, though this is our first twin set for florentine!

The flogs are coming quickly and my body is busy breathing, moaning,  listening, processing, and producing the juices of my arousal, I simply have no more threads available for speech.  

He stops and asks his question again.  He waits a minute, flogs one set - HARD, stops, then asks again.

"Yes, Sir," I manage to whisper.  

"Did you ask to purchase these?"  What??  Readers should know this is not part of our dynamic.  He does not restrict what I purchase nor when I purchase it.

"No, Sir.  I bought them as a gift for you.  Should I not have?  I'm sorry, Sir"

"Oh, fiona.  You should always ask before you make purchases like these."

"but I do like them." he says almost as an afterthought and quickly begins to flog again.  

Knots of all different sizes

Oh, it's hard, it's painful - but not too.  It's a deeper thud than usual, maybe due to the millions of knots in the falls.  Because two floggers are hitting me, their impacts are coming quickly and are reaching deep inside me, almost like a deep tissue massage upon each impact. I'm breathing, raising up, wanting more, breathing, moaning, crying out, panting.   There are falls that are unraveled and their tiny knots find their way into tiny folds.  You don't have to use much imagination to imagine what happens when he's not simply flogging on each cheek.  As he moves to one flogger and begins to be more centrally located I raise to my tip-toes to reach closer to him.  I want, I want...  Oh how I want more!

Almond Biscotti

With many thanks to Jz for organizing todays Cookie Recipe Exchange.  Thanks for allowing me to join the club and participate!

Almond Biscotti 

(with pictures from my kitchen this morning)

Ingredients:
12 ounces unsalted unblanched almonds
1/2 cup canola oil
1 1/4 cups sugar**
2 eggs
2 3/4 cups whole wheat pastry-grind flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:
Toast the nuts (hehe - not those - almonds) 
in a 350F oven, about 8-10 minutes, until aromatic. 
Be careful not to scorch.  Chop nuts coarsely. 

Reduce oven temperature to 325F.  Lightly spray grease a large cooking sheet.

In a large mixer bowl, beat together oil, sugar and eggs.  
Sift flour, baking powder and salt together.  
Add the dry ingredients, extracts, and almonds to the mixer and mix until dough pulls together.



Divide dough into 2 equal parts.  
Spread each portion of dough into a strip 
about 3x12 inches.  
Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes

Carefully remove each cookie strip to a cutting board.
Cut diagonally into 1/2 inch slices.  
Turn each slice onto its side and return to baking sheet.
Return to oven and bake for another 15 minutes.










Remove from pan and cool on a rack.  Makes 2 1/2 dozen biscotti.

Have a cup of coffee or tea and sit and enjoy the fruits of your labors with friends or a good blog post!


**Sugar can be substituted for maple syrup and agave for a healthier biscotti.






Other posts from the cookie exchange you may enjoy include:

Advizor54

aisha

Ally

Autumn in jeans  

Beth

Dana

Elysia

Emi J,

Fiona

Greengirl

Hedone

HisLilAngel

Joey

Julia

Jz

Krissy

lil

Linda Long

Little Monkey

mouse (her recipe here, her blog here) 

Mrs. Soft Bottom

Ms. Constance

Naughty Kitty 

nilla

Penelope

Ronnie

Ryan Beaumont

Sassy

selkie, (her recipe here, her blog here)

Serenity

sin

Striving for Peace

TemptingSweets

Tom

Veronica

A Couples Massager And A Smile

Sir lies across our bed and I sit perched on the edge, deftly rubbing his feet.  I love pampering him whenever I am can.  He deserves much more pampering that he gets.  After I have properly rubbed both feet he requests that I lock the door.  This means playtime - YES - !!!

As he hears the click of the lock he says, "Bring me my remote."

I am confused, he wants to watch TV?  Are you fucking kidding me??  "You want the remote?" I respond incredulously.

"No, I want MY remote," he retorts.

Oh! I had almost forgotten.  After some research and requesting feedback from some blog-land folks, he had gotten a remote controlled couples massager (Lelo's Tiani2).  I went to the drawer and got out the little black bag.  I walked over and handed the remote to him and held the vibe.  I hadn't used it with him yet, and was nervous.  What if it didn't work the way he wanted?  What if it didn't do anything for me?  What if he was disappointed - or what if I was?  It’s the first time and instead of being psyched, I was nervous.

"What do you need to do, fiona?" he asked

I am standing at the side of the bed, right in front of him (as he's still laying across it).  I put my foot up on the chair beside the bed and insert the vibe and position the external portion over my clit.

"Good Girl, fiona." he says very approvingly.  "Now, rub my back."

What?  I just put this thing in and you seriously want a back rub?  OMG, are you trying to kill me?   My inner monologue is ranting while I walk around the bed again, and straddle him. I put lotion on my hands and begin to rub his back.  He turns on the vibe and I can feel it.  It's not too stimulating, but it feels good.  As I rub his tight back muscles, he moans a little and I can feel some of the days tension leave his body.  Simultaneously, he turns it up the vibe.  Oh, Oh...It feels good, now.  The portion inserted in me isn't too long, so it's stimulating and sensitizing, but not overly.  The part on my clit feels REALLY good.  As I start to moan and stop focusing on the massaging, he slows the vibrations.  Nooooooo, my mind screams.

"I think you lost your focus, fiona.  Focus on my massage and I will focus on you."  he says.

OMG, how am I supposed to focus on massaging him when I am getting so worked up.  I move down to his lower back and he's turned-up the vibrations again.  I slide my body down and am now working really hard on massaging his muscles while humping his hamstring.  Oh goodness girl, I say to myself.  Have you no pride?...well obviously not!  I'm rubbing and moaning and grinding and humping.  What. A. Slut.

As I finish his back, the vibrations lessen again.  He turns over onto his back.  "Suck,"  is his only command.  I pounce - like literally out of a cartoon – pounce on his length.  Oh, I am horny, hot and hungry.  I suck and lick and the vibe increases again.

 ….AHHHH.  I am voracious.   He is solid steel encased in silk.  As I suck, he lengthens just a little more. 

Without warning, he commands me to “Get on,” while pulling my head away.  I remember the directions that came with this thing saying that he could fuck me while it was inside, but that I would need additional lubrication.  Wow, we’ve never fucked with an object in the same hole he’s in.

With a flash of embarrassment I hesitantly say, “I’ll…um… need some extra… um… lube.”  I don’t know why that embarrasses me, but it always does.  It somehow feels like a personal failing if I need vaginal lube. 

“Get.  On.  We’ll see how it goes.  If I’m right, you’ll be fine.”

Well FUCK, don’t you just know he’s right.  He slides so easily into my ripe puss.  I am sopping, he slides in and the vibrations transfer to his cock as well as push the vibe portion hard against my pelvic bone, increasing the vibe.  It is INTENSE! In All the Best ways!!

Oh, Oh, Oh, AHHHHHHH!  I explode inside while freezing outside.  I am a statue of ecstasy. 

He pumps, his body moving me up and down.  All of a sudden, my eyes open wide.  I focus.  I am keenly aware of my body and Him.  I look into his eyes and we lock.  I see HIM.  I am darn-near animalistic in my movements, but my eyes are grounding me, focusing me.  I come apart.  I cum apart.  I throw my hands above my head and scream while he makes the most amazing low, primal, growl as he empties his life force into my body.

I hover, eyes still focused on his, waiting for his release.  I am panting, trying to catch my breath.  He inhales deeply, holds his breath and as he lets it out very slowly, he smiles.

Desire ~ Interruption ~ Ecstasy

We sleep together most every night as a jumble of limbs, snuggling close.  We woke this morning, in just that fashion.  As Sir came awake, my hand reached around to hold his hard cock and balls.  He slid his hand, which had been draped across me, up to my right nipple.  Without saying a word, he began to play. He rolled, he pinched, he pulled, he squeezed.  After no time, I was aroused - no that sounds too proper, I was wanton - hot and horny.  He moved over to my left nipple and continued with his tormenting.  Oh, how I love the feel of his fingers on my nipples.  My body was beginning to move.   

"You are going to be a good girl today, aren't you?"  He says.

"Yes, Sir"

"You had a bit of a lapse yesterday, didn't you?"  

"I'm sorry, Sir" I say ashamed, because yes, yesterday I lost my ever-lovin' shit.

"Today, we're going to start the day off right.  You ARE going to be a good girl."

He continues telling me what he expects from me for the day.  This includes wife/mother tasks, household chores, sexual expectations, personal maintenance.  He plays with my nipples and tells me what I am to do, combining sexual arousal and emotional/intellectual satisfaction.  I am beginning to feel wetness seeping out from between my legs.  

His hands are on my breasts, alternating between kneading and sharp squeezes.  

My breathing is ragged, desire is pulsing through my veins and I'm beginning to moan.  

.........

bounce

bounce

bounce

"HI MOMMY!"

POUNCE 

"Fuck, Fuck.  Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!" - my brain screams.  I'm so aroused and I can't control my breathing.  Damn real life!  

My youngest bounds onto the bed.  Hops on top of me.  Looks at Sir and says, "Hi Daddy, I'm hungry.  I'm going to get breakfast." Then, leaps off the bed and is gone.  

It's kinda like a hit-and-run!

.........

"Go lock my door, quickly."  He says.  I fly out of bed and lock the door and am almost jumping out of my skin to get back in bed.  I lay down and begin to angle myself toward his engorged cock, longing to have it between my lips.  He grabs me and pulls me back.  One of his arms lays across my throat and his other moves so he can check on my arousal.  His fingers deftly move between my legs and find the Niagara Falls of moisture escaping my lips.  He plunges inside and re-unfocuses my mind.  "Ahhhh," I cry out as he manipulates me from inside.

Just before I come, he pulls his arm away from my throat and his fingers from my pussy.  He lays back on the bed with a particularly evil grin.  I once again move to kiss the head that I have been longing for.  Once again, he pulls me, but this time, it's on top of him.  Like a well oiled machine, I slide effortlessly onto him.  The minute I move, I cum.  Literally.  I was so aroused that I shot off like a cannon.  My hands went up to my face, my mouth opened in a silent scream, my pussy pulsed with such force I could feel it firmly squeezing his cock.  Then like the wanton slut that I was, I proceeded to fuck at a pace that was unbecoming - even a slut.  I was hellbent on pleasure and one orgasm beget another.  

As my eyes were screwed shut, I was surprised when he pushed my hands away from my face and pushed them so they were behind my head.  He slapped my breasts with a wonderful rhythm that matched my gyrations.  Then, all at once, he slapped my breast - he came - and his powerful shot must have hit my g-spot, because I saw stars, I stopped breathing, I froze unable to process the ... 

... ecstasy.  

Kinky Vanilla

Well, I read a post by Kitty about Vanilla Sex.  Her post made me thing about vanilla in my life.

Sir and I had PLENTY of vanilla sex in our 20+ years.  We've always had a great sex life...sleeping together (in the biblical sense), typically, 3-4 times a week.  We've been best friends from our first night together.  No, there was no sex that night...just talking.  ALL night.  We saw sunset and sunrise.  We've made love in many positions and gone to sleep sated, happy, and connected.  There was nothing wrong with our vanilla sex life.

My First Pair of Handcuffs

With all that said, we started with kink in our relationship, to some degree, but never named it as kink.  Within the first few months of sleeping together, we spanked.  I loved being spanked.  I can't remember the first dildo that he bought or the first vibe, but I've had them a long time.  I purchased our first pair of handcuffs and gave them to him as a gift over 20 years ago.  They weren't the pink fuzzy ones, they were metal police type cuffs and oh, was I in!  I have loved bondage and rarely, if ever, get my fill.  We've had crops and floggers and clamps...you get the idea.

We've had kink AND vanilla for as long as we've had us.  But the vanilla has historically been along side the kink, some nights this and some nights that.  As I have blogged before, our kink became more focused a little over a year ago.  Where we had been forever switches, we became D/s with sole-positions of D and s.  So for a year we've been settling into our roles.  As the months go by, the vanilla seems to appear less and less in our sex-life.  Now-a-days, the periodic blow job instead of a face fucking - meaning no hands in my hair, no loss of control, no force, is the closest we typically get to vanilla sex.

I have tried to initiate making love to my husband a couple of times.  We typically evolve into D/s - where I am clearly giving my power over and he is clearly taking my power and HE is in charge.

So I sit here, typing this post and am contemplating where we are.
       Do I miss it? 
              Do I miss the vanilla?  
       Am I not making love when we are sleeping together with our D/s in full view?  
Do we not connect on the same level when there are the trappings of bondage, toys, spankings?

I am LOVING my kink.  I don't miss the vanilla in my sex-life.  I do not miss it, because
       

I have vanilla inside my kink.  

• From each tender kiss to every loving spank.  
• From each sappy phone conversation that begins with an equally husband-specified sappy ring-tone to each tug, bite and clamp of my nipple. 
• From each snuggle, spooning close at night to each flog as his hand rests strong and sure against my back.  
• From each dinner conversation and parenting moment to every whisper of ownership in my ear.  

I love my kink AND I love the vanilla that lives within...

and I don't feel incomplete at all.

Spanked Un-grumpy

I'm grumpy.

He grabs my ponytail and pushes me across the bed.  I DO NOT want to be spanked.  I'm grumpy.  He moves his hand from hair and pushes my lower back across the bed.  "I don't want to be spanked!"  I tell him.  He grabs the wooden hairbrush which happens to have been on the nightstand.  

   He spanks.  "No, I don't want this," I protest and tense.

   He spanks.  "no."

My whole body is tensed.

   He spanks.

   He spanks.

My body begins to soften.

   He spanks. "Ohhhh," I moan.

SHIT - I didn't mean to moan.  I don't want this to work.  I don't want a spanking.  I'm grumpy.

   He spanks.  

   He spanks.

   He spanks.

And in one instant, I feel it.  

My body melts.  I begin to pant.  I feel, actually feel, all of my tension leave my body.  My muscles go slack.  My mind goes blank.  My mood shifts.  I am focused on his spanking, on my breathing, on where I am right now, in this moment.  

   He spanks.

I have the most ridiculous smile on my face and life is good.
Me grumpy?  No-way!!

Bite, Slap, Whimper

My self help group for one:
Hello, my name is fiona, and I love to bite my Sir's lip (even though I know it's not appropriate.)

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * 

So, I know I'm not supposed to bite my Sir's lip.  I know this.  I know when I do there are consequences.  But here's the thing. I love to - like really LOVE to!  I don't bite so hard that it really hurts (that's my story), but I love how it feels.  I also know, it is NEVER acceptable.

So, yep, you betcha...dumb ass fiona did just that.  I was kissing Sir in the laundry room and GENTLY bit his lip and

**SMACK**

right across my face.  Now I was expecting that I would not be able to get a way with it, but that was unexpected.  It was quick and sharp and ... shocking.  I put my head down and quickly turned away.  He grabbed my hair and pulled me immediately up against him and began to kiss me.  

I felt ashamed and guilty, I knew what I did was, not the end of the world, but not appropriate.  I didn't open my mouth.  I didn't want gentile affection.  He kissed, his tongue gently probing and pushing past my lips.  He was kissing me tenderly but firmly.  I opened my mouth ever so slightly as my body betrayed my brain.  His tongue took advantage of the opening.  He was exploring my mouth and holding me safely and strongly in his arms.  He was possessing me - loving me.  It was heady.  That mix of 

                correction + forgiveness + connection.

I could still feel the sting of his slap.  The kiss broke and he held my head against his chest and hugged me firmly.  I felt his strong body pressed against me.  Oh, I felt enveloped and safe.  

"You needed that, didn't you?"  he said.  No contempt, no teasing, simply a question.  
I buried my face in his chest and whispered, "yes, sir."

"You are going to be a good girl."  Once again, no contempt, no teasing, simply a statement.

He hugged me, released me and I turned to go.  I make it to the door and once again grabs my hair and hauls me up against him.  He grabs my hand with his free hand and pushes it against him.  I can feel him, his manhood, his rock-hard cock - pressing so hard against his jeans.  

I whimper and melt.  AHHhhhhh