Monday, January 27, 2014

Suggestive/Explicit Songs

Hypocrite?  Me?

As a kid I remember singing songs like…

Madona's "Like A Virgin"
George Michael's "I Want Your Sex"
Depeche Mode "I Want You Now"
or Violent Femmes "Blister In The Sun"

So So So many more….

I love music…sing all the time.
Always have…still do.

My kids and Sir and I will dance around
Sing to each other, sing to ourselves.

The other day, I was driving down the road 
and singing along to 

"S&M" by Rihanna

     Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
     Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
     Sticks and stones may break my bones     
     But chains and whips excite me


My kids are in the car and ask about the song

and I quickly … deflect.

Ya, so that made me think.

I sang those songs at the top of my lungs …
and they didn't make me grow up to be morally loose
or a slut (ok - with anyone but Sir)

But as a mom, I'm not sure about 
having my daughter sing that at the top of her lungs
in the seat next to me.

Oh, those parenting quandaries.
So, what are your thoughts?

24 comments:

  1. Oh yes the perils of adult lyrics. Even when they get edited down for the radio version, they're still too explicit. My daughter hears me listening to Lily Allen and wants a copy of a song for her player. I tell her no, she can't. She doesn't understand why, but these are some of lyrics:

    Oh, I lie here in the wet patch in the middle of the bed
    I'm feeling pretty damn hard done by, I spent ages giving head

    It's sung with a lovely melody, pity.
    Giving the reason why is the hard part! I have to be more careful with my playlists :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love Lily Allen, but for the longest time couldn't find the non-explicit versions…so being the good mom I was, I listened to it anyway…not when Sir was in the car, mind you. But once one of mine started asking about some of the songs and getting them on her iPod, I rethought my whole kids around play list!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  2. I don't know .. there is a time & a place. I was in Toy-r-Us once & was quite offended that 50 Cent's P.I.M.P was blaring throughout their store (I have no children .. not that that matters really) - highly inappropriate I thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG, that's insane….Sometimes, ugh!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  3. A, that song, the remix with Spears, is my motto song with Sir. When I'm on my way too see Him I turn it up-loud-along with Inglesies "Tonight". "Tonight" because the first time, while I was himhawing, He looked at me and, "Tonight, I am fucking you."

    Now, I change the songs when my kids are in the car. I know they listen to it, but I like to pretend otherwise. To me, it s seems the lyrics are more descriptive than in our day. Yes?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't tell…I would have said yes, but now that I look back the songs I used to listen to certainly seem pretty explicit. Yikes.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  4. Well, i am happy my kids are grown....and have no idea what i listen to. I doubt if song lyrics will shape their future, on the other hand, they mat get curious about things they are too young to understand.
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's crazy to figure out what the right answer is. I just never know.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  5. I listen to my grandkids and they listen to those songs. I'm not sure they understand what some of it means but I would rather have them ask their folks instead of getting their info from somewhere else. I think they listen with or without permission, didn't you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am sometimes surprised at the songs that my kids have completely memorized…clearly hearing them when they are not at home. So, yes, I think they will be exposed with or without me.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  6. My older two were having a conversation about something similar, can't remember which song now, but i realized that my daughter has a better grasp on subtle song lyrics than her older brother (thank god though not much). The one that hit me hard was Flo Rider's "Blow Your Whistle" which is pretty much a song about a blow job and it got to the point where i just couldn't hear my son walking around singing that song at the top of his lungs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, that's so the case…boys mature slower and I think therefore understand subtleties so much slower. It can be funny. There are certainly some songs which just sound WRONG coming from some kids.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  7. I don't have kids yet, and I cringe thinking what the music will be like when I do, lol. It's a great song, but it's scary thinking about how many kids, especially young ones, hear it and think nothing of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then again, like I said…think about the songs that we listened to and didn't think anything of. I don't know what the answer is. Makes me wonder, though =)

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  8. Well, a while back my kid came to me and asked "Mom, what is a masochist?" So I tried to answer in a plain and simple way without giving anything away of my personal stuff. I'm sure they hear a lot of stuff from TV and music, but it didn't kill us (right?) and it won't kill them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha! Did you ask where your kid heard it? I absolutely think getting simple and straight forward answers is good, but sometimes I just CRINGE when they ask! OR…simply have a minor panic attack =)

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  9. I totally deflected the other day and then I regretted it. The radio DJ was having people call in and say what songs they liked to have sex to. My 8 year old asked what he meant, and I didn't tell her. Afterward I felt like I don't want to be that way. Granted, her understanding cannot be complete at this age, but if I want her to grow up with a "sex positive" attitude, I need to treat sex in a " we can talk about" light.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do so want my kids to have a "sex positive" attitude. I just don't quite know the line to tow to have "sex positive" and not slut and not repressed. Damn, my child rearing owners manual sucks!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  10. It seems that many of the songs on my playlist at the moment have 'advisory' warnings. I play them thinking that my boys wouldn't notice. It also got me into trouble once when H sat in the car and my list started playing. He turned it off quickly, I called him a prude and then he told me very sternly that he didn't want his children listening to that.
    I love the Lily Allen track that DF mentioned too

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, my Sir is irritated when I play certain songs and scowls at me. Mostly I listen when the kids aren't around and so I don't think anything of it when they come on and the kids are around. Oops =)

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  11. You and I must be about the same age because I sang along to all those songs too. I tend to think that the kids are going to hear the songs whether we allow them or not. I try to make sure that my kids know that they can come to me with any and all of their sex questions and they'll get a (pretty) straight answer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha….our lives by the music we listen to! They do hear everything…weather or not I want them too. I do tell them that they can talk to me, but I have open kids and not-so-open kids.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  12. I think about this often. I don't always realize how dirty a song is until I hear it from my 10 yo lips. I try to remember that she doesn't even know what it means at that age. By the time they do, its rather ineffective. I'm sure they hear more from friends at school. It really doesn't change things. Unfortunately we can't shelter them forever.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha…that is so true! There are just some things that hit you as…WRONG! I hope that I can choose the right level of sheltering…We'll see, time will tell, right?

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete

Thank you very much for sharing your comments. This blogland world has become so much more meaningful because of the conversations that y'all have with me through comments...REALLY!

I appreciate them all and will endeavor to answer EVERY comment if at all possible!

THANK YOU
-fiona