Blush

"You came hard last nigh."

pause

"Go ahead, give it to me."

I blush…not something that ANYONE else can make me do,

which is, I'm sure why he loves to say things like that to me.

I turn my head, in utter embarrassment

and smile a very shy smile

(also not something that anyone else can get me to do)

"That's so embarrassing, 

why do you say things like that?"

I asked, but why it embarrasses me, I have no idea,

BUT IT DOES.

"fiona.  There is no one else in the car with us,

why would you be embarrassed?"

I smile like a fool.

"I do love that blush and 

fiona, I LOVE that smile!"

"How in the hell, after over 20 years together,

did you know to try something different?  

How did you ever realize that you could find my

g-spot like that?  How did you know to try?  

How did you know you could make me cum 

so much better after so long?"

I string this ridiculous series of questions…but I really don't know 

and really want to know.

How did he know it could be better?  

He changed his fingering technique

like a year or so ago…and… HolyHell…

Nope, HOLYFUCK!  

Can the boy make me have 

multiple, squirting, star-producing orgasms!

and it totally make me blush when he calls me on it later!

Good Night

*SMACK*

I rolled over into Sir.

I wasn't in the mood.

I was tired and …
well, just tired.

I was taking evasive maneuvers.

Sir reached right around and

*SMACK*

followed quickly by his other hand,
the one attached to the arm that was now
coming around my neck, pulling me close,
pulling the hair away from my face and ear.

The hand smacking my ass also came quickly around
and found purchase on my nipples…

"No"
*Pinch*

"No" maybe a little more whinny.

*Pinch*  *Twist*  *Tug*

"Yes.  Yes, fiona, I Will pinch your tits and 
smack your ass.  

I will pinch your tits and smack your ass, 
because you belong to me.

I can do what I want"

pause

"Say it, fiona."

on a gasp, I reply
"Yes, Sir."

"Say it ALL, fiona"

without hesitation, I knew what he wanted. 
I melted into him and said,

"Yes, Sir, this is Your body to do with as you please.
Thank you, Sir for playing with me."

"Oh, fiona, you ARE a good girl."

Thus began my Good Night…

An End To Friday

Sorry for the delay…I typed my notes but couldn't finalize a post until today.

Well, after one hell of a full day,
Master indeed turned off the lights
and announced that we were going to bed
at 9:20.  

NINE-TWENTY-PM!  

Can't remember the last time THAT happened!

He brought me upstairs and …

sadly at this point, I can't remember all that happened.
my mind is pretty mushy!

He told me to get naked
"And no talking, fiona." he added.
I talked, almost immediately
-- but I thought it was legit - I had a question --
Nope, he bent me over and spanked me as a correction.

Then he told me to stay right where I was,
next to the bed,
hand above my head.
He brought out clamps and
after twisting and pinching, he clamped my nipples.

Then, as I was gasping through the burn, 
he left and retrieved the toy box
He set it on the bed and then laid across the bed.
He told me to show him each item in the box.

I proceeded to unlock the box and
pulled each item out and then was told,
leave it on the bed or put in a pile to put back.

We had an intimidating pile at the end
and
…it made me smile :)

Unceremoniously, He pulled the nipple clamps off,
and as my mouth opened to gasp for air 
as the blood rushed back into my 
nipples, he shoved the dick gag in my mouth
and strapped it around my head.

He then put an eye mask on me
and my world was plunged into darkness.

the first wrapping - prior to cinching them
and binding my hands.  

He then quickly wound my breasts with rope…

I haven't had my breasts bound before…
and have wanted it … 
forever!

OMG, He bound my breasts!!

He then re-clamped my nipples 
and attached me…my nipples...to closet.

I sway back accidentally….ouch!

He pressed up against me from behind 
and kissed behind my ear.

He then stepped back and…
crops my ass….

Oh…the predicament.
I can't move or it pulls my nipples,
and yet, he's all but forcing movement 
by cropping my ass…and NOT softly!

Commands me to widen my stance
and as I kind of scoff…
of course not talking because of the gag…
because - I have no space for motion…

He begins to crop my thighs.

I start to gingerly widen my stance,

until they are wide enough apart

once again…the predicament…

motion required and motion causing nipple pulling.

Then he crops my pussy…

Oh…the overwhelming feelings!

throbbing nipples, bound, gagged, blindfolded, burning ass and stinging thighs and now…my pussy being cropped!

He sais he wants to get the gigantic purple dildo 

and put it in…

"O, ii oooh uuay"

"O, ii oooh uuay"

"Oh you think it's too dry for you to take it?"

"AAH II OOOH UUAY"

"We'll see. You will take it and then you can tell me if it was too dry."

Oh holy fuck…I CAN'T

AND I'm standing up…even harder to get the right angle.

He leave and I hear the condom tearing that will sheath the dildo.

FUCK!

Then I feel the dildo between my legs and I

consciously try to relax.

It's the only thing I can do. 

I'm bound…gagged…blindfolded…

It's really up to him, and in the end,

that's what I really love…

Him taking what He wants even if I don't!

He starts with the dildo and rubs it along my slit.

He starts pushing it in with tiny thrusts…

and I breath and relax and ….

It's going in!  

It's going in and not too painful!

Wow…I'm totally shocked and proud and …

mmmmmmm, that feelmmmmmmmm ahhhhhh

He unclamps my nipples and tells me to move.

He navigates me by the dildo between my legs…like a handle.

I feel so … objectified… and hot and horny and cherished.

(ya, I know, weird, but there you have it)

He KNEW what I needed and was kind enough to give it to me!

He puts me on the bed on my back and lays beside me.

He spreads my legs wide apart and puts my hands above my head

He starts suckling my nipples - which are so sensitive!

I just about come off the bed and his hand is between my legs

and he starts fucking me with the gigantic dildo.

There was a LOT that happened…

he satisfied His goal…he fucked my pussy 

until it was so tired it couldn't cum again…

AND THAT'S A LOT OF CUMMING!

(and I recall him coming like a fucking freight train as well.)

Oh was this a fabulous end to Friday, or what?

Happy Friday, fiona

Well…It was Friday.

Boy was it Friday.

From start to finish…
you guessed it…
FRIDAY!!

The morning started off with
me laying on my stomach
drooling and seriously sound asleep.

I felt the covers being pulled and then
*THWAP*

OHHOLYMOTHEROFFUCKWHATINTHEHELLWAS…
oooooohhhhhhh
mmmmmmm

*THWAP*
aahhhhhhh

Sir puts his hand on the back of my neck and then,
*THWAP*

I feel him gather my hair and pull me.

"On your knees, you may kiss my cock."
I fall to my knees 
(as gracelessly as someone who just woke up)
and fumble for his cock
(which is straining against his boxers)

I suck for only a minute or two and he pulls me off.
"Good morning, fiona."
I smile a very shy, embarrassed, satisfied smile.

"No listen, little girl.  I want to give you three good ones.
Are you ready?"
"Yes, Sir."

"Well, ask me for it, fiona."
"Please, Sir, will you spank me."
"How hard, fiona?"
"As hard as it pleases you, Sir."

*THWAP*
OHHOLYFUCKITYFUCKFUCK
*THWAP*
OHHOLYFUCKITYFUCKFUCK
I start to stand up and 
he pushes me roughly back into position

"How hard to you want this last one, fiona?"
"As hard as you can, Sir."
"Oh, good girl, that makes me so happy!"

*THWAP*

He walks away, telling me what a good girl I am
and takes his shower.
I am back to laying on my stomach,
almost back to sleep.

He gathers my hair, once again,
and turns my head to face him.
"You like rimming me, don't you?"
"Yes, Sir!"

"Ok, do a good job little bitch."

He gets up on the bed and 
I go at him like a starved animal.

I suck and lick and swirl my tongue.
I feel my saliva going all over my face.

rimming him is embarrassing to talk about,
but it's so extraordinarily submissive feeling.

He was so nice and clean having 
just gotten out of the shower before he came to 
crop my ass, Good Morning.

I rimmed him with such enthusiasm.  
When he had enough, 
He flipped places with me,
Put me on my knees and 
fucked me from behind.

He rarely uses that position, 
but it felt so amazing.

He fucked hard and slapped his balls into my pussy.
He pulled out and came.

"Happy Friday, fiona"
he said with a wink…
leaving me again, feeling shy, and embarrassed
and Seriously submissive feeling!

My Song To Master

A Be Boof Bay Boo Boo

A Be Boof Bay Boo Boo

A Be Boof Bay Boo BafBu

A Be Boof Bay Boo Boo


OK…now put three fingers in YOUR mouth 
and sing happy birthday …

Yup, this is how I serenaded 
Master at midnight 
with his cock in my mouth!

Communication

Communication…the best thing that Sir and I have going for us…

other than true love ;-)

I have been struggling with finding my submissive groove.  I know it.  When in the moment, I'm all there, but it's fleeting.  Like this illusive quality that I love when I'm holding it but which quickly disappears when I step away for a minute.  Silly, shouldn't be like that.  I've got more to manage and stress over and manipulate in our day-to-day lives right now.  I am mommy-domme and organizer of our household and it's taking all of my mental capacity to get it done.  This means that I'm un-submissive and all over the place and can't seem to get my mind around to where I it should be…no, where I want it to be.  

Yesterday, Sir asked me, while we were in bed, what was wrong.  I started to talk to him, but clammed up.  I just couldn't get the words out.  In the morning, I sent this email to him on his private account.  I had to call him and tell him it was there as he doesn't check it unless I tell him I'm sending him something.  Every once and a while I can just articulate where I am so much better in writing…not all the time, but sometimes.

Here are the two emails that we sent yesterday:

fiona  (one day ago)

So, I am warring with myself.

ON ONE HAND:

I feel like I am being rejected when I have asked for you to tie me up…in many different ways and you've said that you will and then it doesn't happen.  AND when I have asked you to please "tighten the screws" - to plug me more frequently (I know that anal isn't your thing, but even telling me to put in the plug would be helpful) - to help me a bit more.  I am resisting.  I can tell.  It's even more frustrating that I can tell that I'm doing it.  I'm stressed and sad and stressed -have I mentioned stressed?  That will help.  Submitting will help.  I know it does.  I know I WANT IT.  I hope you want it.  But I've asked several times and then when none of it happens I feel rejected or … idk.  I wish you would push…I wish you would not accept it when I clam up and aren't forthcoming with you.  I wish you would have consequences when I misbehave…make a point.  

ON THE OTHER HAND:

I feel like I have no business asking any more of you when you're stressed and insanely busy and doing a ton…both at home and at work.  I feel like I have no business complaining when I have had the best sex of my life over the last five years - last few in particular.  I feel like I am being selfish and self-centered and unsubmissive - pushing for my needs and wants and not being grateful enough for all that I am getting.  

I also think I walk the line of wanting you to be a hard-ass-Master and a considerate-Dom.  I want you to push me sometimes but be compassionate others…and I'm sure that's a minefield that I've set up in my head

ANYWAY:

That's where I am.  I will work on getting myself straight. I know myself well enough to know if you simply tell me to plug myself today or jump in, I'll feel like you're just doing it because I pitched a fit.  That's not what I want.  I have to make myself content and deal.  Sometimes writing helps me do it.  I'll work on me…and know that I am grateful for you!

Love you,

fiona

Sir Q	11:35 PM (23 hours ago)
Wow. That helps me a lot. I love hearing your thoughts and this is clearly a great way for you to express them. I now understand last night. I do struggle finding the push-but-compassion line but that is obviously not the issue here. I just get so overloaded and distracted. I cannot explain why but yesterday was not my sharpest day intellectually. It was a great day but not my best brain-game day.

I do want to Dom. I do like bondage. I do want to plug u. YOU will make sure shit is together so we can have some alone time on Friday night. I want to go to bed @ 9:30. We will have some me dom time. Put it in pen in your calendar. You will tell me sheepishly how much you are looking forward to it on Friday.

Good girl
Pretty girl
Sent from my iPod

Six of His Best

Sir bends me over the bed

and with my pants on
(and pulled up)

He tells me to put my hands above my head
and to keep them there.

"We can't be loud, so I'll have to make them count.
You'll get six but I'll make them count."

He retreats to the closet and comes back
rubbing my ass with the crop.

He rubs and caresses my ass
building my anticipation.

I want them.
I so desperately WANT THEM.

THWACK

ohhollyhell…
he holds nothing back and is clearly using a full swing.

He rubs between the strike and that
startling, sharp, sting
turns
into
warm, tingling, excitement

By the time the sixth and last

THWACK

comes,

I am so insanely turned on.
I am starting to float
I'm awash in sensation!

Sir starts to walk away,
giving me a moment to collect myself.

He starts taking off his shirt and tells me
he's going to take a shower.

I drop to my knees and as quickly as I can,
strip my top and bra off.

I kneel by the door to the bathroom
my hands behind my back

and all but beg to suck on him.

"Just a kiss, little girl."

Now that never means just a kiss,
but it does mean a suck or two…but not much.

I adore his cock.
I truly adore it with my mouth.

He pulls away and I whimper.

"Just a minute, fiona."

He retreats to the closet and I wait on my knees,
patiently with my hands behind my back.

"Close your eyes."

He comes back and I feel him playing with my nipples.

I am so tightly wound!

He clamps my nipples with the hook clamps

They are tight and they burn and
that burn goes straight to my pussy.

He grabs the hook side of the clamps and
pulls me up to meet his
thick, hot, wet, cock.

He fucks my mouth,
but instead of pumping into me,
he's pulling me onto him
by
my
NIPPLES!

He fucks, hard and fast and
I keep my hands grasped behind my back.

He pulls one last time,
hard and deep and
cums,
deep in my throat.

Oh, I love six of his best!
and all of his creativity.

Dom and Dom

Well, things have been…

STRESSSSSSSFUL 

here.

I had a particularly rough day yesterday
Sir tried…he really did.

I was feeling…

depressed
overwhelmed
UNsubmissive
pissy


Ya, so … we had a rough afternoon.

After a date that had been planned 
with friend,
which required us to put our 
general discontent aside and 
act normally

we laughed
we reset.

We talked on our way home.

Sir said that he knew I was 
feeling particularly
UNsubmissive

and that maybe I would never have
submissiveness as 
a constant state,
or even an instinctual state,
but that he knew that it was a state
that I found much contentment in.

He said since he has been Dominant consistently
for such a lengthy period now, 
that it IS becoming a more 
natural, instinctual state for Him

and that when I am UNsubmissive…
Dominant in behavior
and He is as well, that 
we CLASH 
significantly.

I thought that it was particularly
insightful of him…

and,
strangely,

soothing for me.  

I felt like that meant that …
for the umpteenth time,
He WANTED…HE WANTED
to be Dominant 

and he desires my submission!

And even more,
I NEED it.  I am so off kilter when I am not.

So I am working on embracing my 
submission…
on letting go and letting him catch me.

Fireworks

Sir and I were at a hotel recently
in a town with a river running through it.

We had gone away for the weekend with friends of ours.

We had a wonderful vanilla day of walking
festivals, fabulous food and lots of great conversation.

Very vanilla.

We got to our hotel room and Sir …

well…

He shifted, immediately.
From vanilla to all Dom!

He made quick work of stripping me,
laid me across the bed,
positioned me as he wanted,

and took his belt to my ass.

I was in heaven.

He warmed me up and then 
tanned me well and good.

My hips were writhing in short order and 
I was DRIPPING wet!

**POP**
**POP POP**

I asked if I could go to the window and see what that noise was.

Sir said yes.

I walked over to the window,
and as I was naked,
I carefully peeked my head out of the curtain
and low and behold,

There were fireworks going off over the river.

I gasped and told Sir.

He walked over and told me to open the curtains.

The lights were on in our room and 
though we were on the 7th floor,
I was completely naked
and visible to those in the hotel across the street 
as well as those on the street.

"Open it now, fiona." Sir commanded.

I carefully and shyly and desperately slowly
opened the window.

Sir put my hands against the window and 
pushed my nipples against the cold glass.

I gasped.

"Don't move, fiona."

He left me for a minute and I watched the fireworks go off.

I was so embarrassed.
I was SO EMBARRASSED!

I was lost in my head when
the next firework exploded over the river and 
**THWACK**

He flogged me…hard.

I just about came right there
…with that one strike!

No warm up on my back or ass.
He set in…hard and and fast…

He timed his hard strikes to the explosions of the fireworks.

The visual stimulation along with the physical stimulation…
it was overwhelming my senses in short order.

I came with fierce spasms
Shuddering and moaning and shivering!

I was naked, pressed up against the glass…
Lights illuminating everything and 

Sir flogged me to fireworks…
both visual and sexual!