Saturday, July 12, 2014

Dom and Dom

Well, things have been…

STRESSSSSSSFUL 

here.

I had a particularly rough day yesterday
Sir tried…he really did.

I was feeling…

depressed
overwhelmed
UNsubmissive
pissy


Ya, so … we had a rough afternoon.

After a date that had been planned 
with friend,
which required us to put our 
general discontent aside and 
act normally

we laughed
we reset.

We talked on our way home.

Sir said that he knew I was 
feeling particularly
UNsubmissive

and that maybe I would never have
submissiveness as 
a constant state,
or even an instinctual state,
but that he knew that it was a state
that I found much contentment in.

He said since he has been Dominant consistently
for such a lengthy period now, 
that it IS becoming a more 
natural, instinctual state for Him

and that when I am UNsubmissive…
Dominant in behavior
and He is as well, that 
we CLASH 
significantly.

I thought that it was particularly
insightful of him…

and,
strangely,

soothing for me.  

I felt like that meant that …
for the umpteenth time,
He WANTED…HE WANTED
to be Dominant 

and he desires my submission!

And even more,
I NEED it.  I am so off kilter when I am not.

So I am working on embracing my 
submission…
on letting go and letting him catch me.



13 comments:

  1. We are on the same wave length...Master and i had the same discussion last Thursday. He suggested i embrace my submission...it is who i am, in spite of my sometimes doubts. Your hubby sounds very wise....and very much in tune to you....
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I stupidly fight it. What's amazing to me, is that I KNOW I'm fighting it. I also know I'll feel so much better if I don't. But. Nope. I sit there fighting. What is wrong with me? UGH. I am so grateful that he sticks with everything.

      So…what's your plan to embrues your submission?

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  2. I was thinking exactly what abby said. Your husband seems very much in tune with you and willing to giving you a tuning up! You are a lucky girl!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Brooke. Thanks for commenting! He is very much intone with me. I am a very lucky girl.

      Hugs,
      fiona

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  3. Well I hope that one of these says it will sink in for you and become easy, because that will give me hope for myself, lol.

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    Replies
    1. I hope so too River. I keep thinking it will be permanent…that I will just accept it, but then, NOPE. UGH. Maybe this time?

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  4. Hi fiona, new follower here. I'm enjoying your blog, very much so!

    It took me quite awhile back in the day to stay in the consistent state of mind of my submission. I had to be so independent growing up, and always in control from a young age.Once I finally learned to let go, I realized just how naturally submissive I was, and it was such a wonderful release. So much happiness has followed.

    This was such an insightful post, and I just wanted to say good for you - and good luck, you will get there with it! :)

    xo brat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Amber - or is it brat? Thank you so much for following me and commenting!

      I am glad that you enjoy the blog.

      I have periods of such contentment and then periods of … questioning. Sometime I will get this through my head.

      hugs,
      fiona

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    2. Everyone calls me brat, even in the vanilla world. It's a nickname that kind of stuck. lol. :) And you are very welcome! :) I've been out of blogging for awhile, and starting new in meeting people - so I appreciate you responding. :)

      I can understand the periods of questioning along with the ones of contentment. I know I will start to feel that feeling when I go through phases of feeling 'out of place'. Usually a good maintence spanking or some kneeling time helps that. :) Sir can always tell when I go into that state and need help getting back into place.

      If you ever want to chat about that or anything ... feel free to jot me a line! :)

      Hugs,
      brat xx

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    3. Hi brat!

      I am going through a lot of stress and I KNOW that I need help with my submission. If there's one thing that Sir and I have going for us, it's communication. We're working on it.

      My email is sirqsmlb@gmail.com, feel free to drop me a line anytime.

      hugs,
      fiona

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    4. I so understand! And yes, communication I have learned is so very important. My email is mortuarychick@gmail.com , please feel free to do the same and write anytime! My Dom and I have been in the lifestyle and local community for a very long time now. :)

      Hugs,
      brat

      Delete
  5. I love your description here. I'm not sure it's possible for me to be submissive all the time in all situations - only with him. Yet he just IS dominant - which obviously doesn't mean he dominates everyone all the time - so maybe there's a way for me to learn to be submissive all the time - but not interact with the rest of the world necessarily that way. Who knows? I loved what you wrote here, thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ya, strange huh? I totally get what you're saying about him being Dominant all the time, but you only being submissive with him. Thanks for your comment! I appreciate it :)

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete

Thank you very much for sharing your comments. This blogland world has become so much more meaningful because of the conversations that y'all have with me through comments...REALLY!

I appreciate them all and will endeavor to answer EVERY comment if at all possible!

THANK YOU
-fiona