Creating a Post

I've read a lot of posts that say I can't remember what happened...
I've had MANY scenes where I can't remember what happened...
I remember feelings, small snippets, but not enough for the whole scene.

When I thought about blogging,
I remember Conina mentioning taking notes.

Seriously...doesn't that take something out of the experience?

Well...for me...

No.

OK, so here's the thing.
When I orgasm, typically I have an adrenaline rush that
...leaves me
...AWAKE.

Not always, but um...80-90% of the time!

So, frequently, after I clean up, and snuggle and Sir is sound asleep...

I.....

take notes

WHY the fuck would I do that??

Well...it's fun for the blog AND
I enjoy reliving what happened as I go back and type up my post.

So...Here's my cliff notes version of my last scene:


NOTES FROM 
The Crop and My Flight of Surrender

Playful tap
Hair
Bed
Spank
Pull down pants and get back in position, now
Belt
Hard
Up off the bed
In pos - hands high above ur head
Comply
Belt but hard
Having a hard time processing, breathing
You like the belt. Isn't that what you said?
Hit, HARD.

Clear off MY bed - I want you back in pos with bamboo...no-with the crop. and u'd better hurry
rub, welts, stripes
Done grab crop
Grab pillow put it at the end of the bed and lay down fi
On belly
No, F. roll over and put ur hands up (footboard rail)
Nipples
Hard
They are stinging , but never get to burn
Pushes knees apart
Mons
Over clit
Feels good but he's all over
Are you in subspace
No - feels funny him asking
Rubs with tip and pushes into lower folds but not I side
Beg to be fucked
With ANYTHING
smacks mons, over clit, sides
Breathing - feelin more
Sensitizing clit
Pushes in at top and lips part
Hard crops
Feels soo good
Rubs at slit further opening
Crops direct on clit
Cum and see stars
Roll over
Crops ass
Jelly,
Relaxed then float
No response
Outside - no pain, simply registry
But able to comprehend
He pulls me out N now his strikes that are no harder hurt so much more.
Suck cock while crop ass and thighs and feet
Fucks and we cum hard and I vibrate and squeeze
Collapse

The Crop and My Flight of Surrender

So, I Playfully tapped Sir's bottom as he walked past.  
I KNOW.  
I shouldn't have done that.  
I know.  I really do.  And yet. 
And Yet, I simply can't help myself.  

He rounded on my immediately, with an air of hostility.
He grabbed a fist full of my hair, right at the base.
He squeezed his fist and pulled my hair.  
At the exact same time, he pushed my head onto the bed.

He spanks my ass hard with his hand, 
but as I have jeans on, it's simply thuddy.
He then lets go and tells me to pull my pants down and 
get back into position, as he walks away from me.  
He follows that up with an authoritarian, "NOW!"

I do so and feel him behind me again.  
This time, it is not a thud, 
it's an off the bed, hands to my ass,
scream for mercy thrash with his belt. 
Oh, holy hell.  He left is all on the line there.

He commands me to get into position, hands high above my head
of course adding in his growl of "Now."

I comply, but warily.  I remember to breathe.
He lashes my ass with authority.  
It is hard.  I'm having a hard time processing.
I'm focused on breathing and staying in position.
"You like the belt.  Isn't that what you said?"

He's so right.  I do like the belt.  But it hurts.
There's been no warm up.  
He was pissed.  He wasn't playing around.
He's whipping my ass and it fucking hurts.

After...um...a bunch?  Oh hell, I have no idea how many,
He stops and declares, "Clear off my bed.
I want you back in position with the bamboo - NO, with the crop."
He adds as a warning, "And you'd better hurry."

I stand and rub my bum.  I'm sure I'll feel welts.
I look in the mirror and see amazing red stripes.
Oh, it's like my most exciting Girl Scout Badge of Honor!
I quickly put things on our bed away grab the crop.
He lays on his side of the bed and he commands,
"Grab a pillow, put it at the end of the bed and lay down, fiona."
I do so and quickly lay on my belly, 
assuming he's going to continue his assault on my ass.
"No, fiona.  Roll over and put your hands up."


I roll over and put my hands up and hold on to the root rail.  
He starts with the crop, rubbing the leather nub across my nipples.
After he has rubbed it to a stiff peak, he begins to crop.
He hits them hard.  Consistent and straight on.  
It stings every time he hits it. 
Typically when he hits my nipples, it turns to a lovely burn.
But he's hitting dead on and hard and it stings.

When he's assaulted my nipples sufficiently,
he pushes my knees apart.
YIPEE (what the fuck is wrong with me, right?)
He begins to softly crop my mons.
He crops around and then periodically over my clit.
It's not directly on my clit, it's my lips.

It feels so so good.
He's not zeroing in on any one spot.  
"Are you in subspace?" he asks...
OK so I find that hilarious...him actually asking - matter-of-fact-like
besides the fact that he knows the word.  
I'll have to ask him where he learned that 
as he doesn't read any blogs that I don't put in front of him.

"No." I reply simply.  
He rubs the tip of the crop down - outside of my hole.
Oh God I want!  I beg for him to fuck me.
Fuck me with the crop.
Fuck me with his finger.
Fuck me with...ANYTHING.  

He takes the crop back and begins assaulting my mons again.
He crops down over my clit and back to my thighs.
I'm breathing more, quicker.  
My clit is sensitizing.  I can tell.
He wheedles the tip of the crop into the top of my lips.
Opening my pussy.

He goes back to cropping - hard.
It feels soooooo good.
He rubs the tip against my whole slit.  
He further opens me up.
I'm now completely exposed and 
He crops directly on my clot.

Oh I cum, hard!
I see stars, literally.
My whole body trembles while my insides convulse.

He commands and I roll over.
He crops my ass, but now I AM floating.
I process that he's striking, but I feel nothing.
I'm jelly, relaxed and enjoying the ride.
I respond to nothing.  I simply am.
I am like an objective outside observer in my beating.

Then he pulls me out...out of my flight of surrender.
I can't remember how he did it, but I clearly remember him doing it.
I didn't want to come back down.  
But that is where he wanted me.  
So here I am.

He continues his assault on my ass...
but now it hurts, now I feel, now I respond.

He pulls my hair and bends me so I can suck his cock.
His beautiful hard cock.
He gives me this gift to suck and I relish it!
I suck, I stoke, he crops. 

He crops my thighs and feet 
as I lick and suck and worship his cock.
As he's getting close, he sets me atop his cock
and fucks my pussy so we can
cum together and collapse.
What a flight my Pilot, my Sir, My Dom took me on!

Reading Help

Help, Google Reader is going away!

I have been using Google Reader as the main way that I read blog posts.  They feed in automatically.  It's easy and works like a charm.  I use it on my iPhone as well as on my computer.

BUT, Google is shutting it down.

1. What do you all use to read your blogs?  
2. How do you followup on comments you have left?
3. What do you like/dislike about your tool?  

Thanks for your help!!

Spreading Sunshine - Creative and positive inspiration

Sunshine Award

I was nominated for the Sunshine award by Renee Rose. 

The idea is for bloggers to present the sun-loving flower to other bloggers who “creatively and positively inspire others in the blogosphere.”

First off, thank you to Renee Rose.  I love that her blog consists of spanklets, fiction AND real life. She is a gifted writer and I always enjoy seeing her next post in my reader!

Here are the Sunny Questions implied for answering:

Favorite Color: Blue...ALWAYS BLUE.  I like many shades, Navy, Federal, Sapphire, Cobalt, Cornflower, Brandeis...

Favorite Animal:  Sir (hehehe)...

     ok so other than Him, 

     um....Giant Pandas or Horses.  

Favorite Number: 14

Favorite Non-alcoholic Drink: Coffee Milkshake because really - ice cream ROCKS.

Facebook or Twitter:  Facebook

Your Passion: Photography and SEX and spanking and Oh Oh...CONTROL (giving mine to Sir.)

Giving or getting presents: Giving...no question.  I suck at asking and although I am always grateful, I feel awkward getting presents.  But I do adore giving presents.  

Favorite Day:  Any day with my Sir!  Geez - I sound sappy.

Favorite Flowers: Daisy...they are just such a happy flower!

And now, my nominations for creatively and positively-inspiring bloggers...

OK, so I started choosing...I chose many.  I even started with reasons...I got through about four and realized that I was about 1/20 through with who I wanted to and as I thought that I didn't need to nominate THAT many, I stopped.  I love my blog family!  I appreciate your posts.  I SOOOOO APPRECIATE WHEN YOU RESPOND TO COMMENTS!  I love  having that connection.

Thank you ALL.  

If you want to join in the fun, the rules are to:

(1) Thank the person who gave you the award in your blog post.

(2) Complete the Q&A below in your blog post.

(3) Pass on the award to 10-12 deserving and inspiring bloggers, inform them and link to their blogs.

Off-kilter

So...I'm feeling a bit off-kilter.

You see, Sir Q is a bit, um...off his game.
He's been medically laid up and that has resulted in a larger degree of personal stress.

Worry about him,
            taking care of him
            and the younger folk.
                     Picking up ALL slack
                     and household chores
                                  and running up and down stairs
                                  and driving EVERYONE in the house.
                                               and cooking and cleaning and mommying
                                               and daddying ... and ... and ... and.

So that's been a lot.

Add to this,
that we will have company coming this week
for another special occasion at our house.
AND....AND...AND...

I'm off.

I am NOT:

• depressed
• tired (or more tired than usual)
• grumpy
• impatient
• resentful
• worried
• overly stressed (at the present)
• overly taxed (at the moment)
• toooo sexually frustrated (heheheh...I am pretty insatiable, though)

So....what am I?
I'm off.

I'm NOT feeling....
it's not that I'm NOT feeling submissive,

I'm just...YUP!
That's It!
I'm not.
I'm not feeling submissive.
No biggie.

Here's the catch.
I want to be.
I do.

I know this will pass.
I know things will reset
when Sir is feeling better
and craziness has uncrazied.

But,
for right this moment,
I'm off-kilter
because,
I'm not feeling submissive
And
I miss it!

Where Was I? (Part 3)

(Continued from Part 1 and Part 2)

So when last you read, I was gagged on His cock and cumming with the help of a dildo fucking my ass.  Oh, Heaven!

After he let me appreciate all of the electricity of the cum flowing through me, he shoved The Dildo in deep.  He quietly commanded me to take The Dildo out and bring a towel over to him.  I rise slowly and a bit unsteadily from the bed and grab a towel and set The Dildo in the bathroom.  Ugh...those human touches...there's nothing sexy about the clean-up parts of play.  I ask him for permission to blow my nose and wash my face, which is covered in drool and tears and snot and pre-cum which he smeared on my face.  Graciously, he agreed.

I come back to bed with a folded clean towel.  I handed it to Sir, who deftly spread it on the bed beside him.  He commands me to lay back on the towel.  I am having difficulty moving, coordinating my limbs, getting my brain and body to function, I'm exhausted, and scrambled.

He takes the clothespins and clips my labia, then opens up my pussy.  He hands me a vibrator and commands me to masturbate.  He holds me open and watches.  As if that wasn't humiliating and objectifying enough, while watching intently, He comments and moans at the sight of me.

He lets go of the clips and grabs some lube and begins to message lube around my folds.  Now, I'm wet as a tsunami, but he's adding to the natural slick.  I am able to mentally note the objectification, it's is palpable, and a serious turn-on.

As I cum again (are you fucking kidding me?), he takes the enormous purple dinosaur and inserts it.  I've cum so much, and there is so much slick...it actually inserts.  He takes the vibrator and puts my hand on the dildo.  He asks if I need more lube.  "no," I whisper as I push it all the way in.

"Oh, I love to see you do it", he says.  "I love to see you masturbate yourself with this."

I start  to move it and he leans up and watches.  Oh!

He commands, 
                               
                           i cum


over

         Over

                   OVER

He asks If I can do it again.

"Yes Sir," I reply


He commands, 
                               
                           i cum


When he's ready, he tells me to remove it.

I do, slowly and am scrambled.

He kisses me, deeply.

He enters me.

He moves, he fucks, and we cum...oh do we cum.

Mind scrambling.  Sated.  Shattered.

Where Was I? (Part 2)

(Continued from Part 1)

I will myself to not let myself go to the floaty place that my mind has one foot inside.  I stand up, kind of shakily.  I get to work...One foot in front of the other.  I seem uncoordinated, almost drunk.  But with each step, with each task accomplished, I am on more solid footings and am returning to my own mind.

When I finish, Sir tells me to bring him the toy box.  I quickly get the box from the closet.  He unlocks it and takes the penis gag and puts it in my mouth.  I gag a bit on it as it hits the back of my throat.  He takes my head and kind of shoves me toward the end of the bed.  He's handling me a bit roughly and my mind is quickly sailing away.

He squirts very cold liquid along my tight opening and takes The Dildo and rubs against my opening.  My mind races.  He hasn't stretched me, prepped me, opened me ... hasn't played with me with his fingers.  How the hell am I going to take that?  He continues to rub up and down and when he reaches the rosebud opening, he pushes gently.  I know what he's going to do and I know I need to breathe and relax.  I try.  I feel it go in but it burns.  I tense.  He doesn't stop.  I make noises, but of course being VERY gagged, grunts is about all that comes out.

I want this.  I want him to play with my ass so desperately.  But it burns.  But I want.  But ... As he continues to pump The Dildo, the burning starts to ease and the pleasure increases.  I feel the throbbing of my clit, the stroke of The Dildo, the pleasure.  Oh, my pussy starts to convulse which causes me to tighten around the dildo fucking my ass.  I'm grunting in a low guttural feral way, cumming hard.

After pulling the last bits of my orgasm out of me, he shoves The Dildo deep into me.  He pulls my hair so that I'm bent in half and reaches down removing the gag.  He takes my head and holds my mouth over his very hard, very thick cock.  Oh, his head is gleaming with pre-cum.  I licked my lips, both as a mindless symbol of eagerness for something tasty as well as wetting my lips so they could slide more easily over his cock.

He releases my hair and leaves me to my own devices.  Oh.  I take his cock with reckless abandon.  He is salty and slick.  Oh, I adore his taste.  He's soft, his skin is silky.  His head is so thick and the shaft is strong and steely.  I push my head down to the base, gagging myself and then suck hard on my upstroke.  All of a sudden The Dildo is moving out of my ass.  I tense thinking that I've inadvertently pushed it out.  But it wasn't being pushed out, Sir had reach around and began fucking my ass again.  With that realization, I refocus on the blow job he was allowing me to give him.  My body begins to vibrate with sensation.  I open my mouth to scream as I let my mouth completely envelop him.  I cum, he's fucking my ass.  Oh it feels.  Oh it's amazing.  But I'm cumming again knowing that I'm gagged with HIS cock this time.

Happy Mother's Day HNT

Happy Mother's Day!

I purchased these as a gift for Sir Q, 

after all, he helped make me a mother!

And I wrap myself up in a nice bow...  

after all, it's all about packaging, right?

Where Was I? (Part 1)

Where Was I?

So a few posts ago, I said that I needed his Dominance and to let go and be submissive, to allow myself to let go and find contentment and peace.  Well....

He came home and in Epic Fashion, he did indeed he reminded me of our roles.

Every chance he got, he twisted or and pinched or and pulled my his nipples (cause really my nipples belong to him, right?)

He whispered in my ear .  He told me what he wanted to do when we were alone.  He told me of fantasies and futures.  He worked me up.  And holy hell was I wound.  Like SERIOUSLY wound!

So, when I FINALLY can come to our room for the night, he took a shower and was waiting on our His bed.  I had a bit of work to do in the room before I could come to bed.  But before I got started, he bent me over the bed - on my back so that my knees came up and he stood between my legs.  He lifted my shirt.  He had already taken my bra off of me earlier in the night, so my breasts were fully exposed when he pulled the shirt up.  I hadn't seen anything around him, but he reached over to the nightstand and took two clothes pins and quickly applied them to my nipples.  He didn't put them so the nipple was in the semicircle cut out, they were pinched - straight on.  Holy, burning.  Searing.  Oh - I was breathing.  Panting.

He then grabbed several more.  He stepped a bit back and I thought he wanted me to get to my work in the room...putting clothes away and such.  When I started to sit up and put my feet down, he took my shins and toggled me back, pushing my knees apart.

He said, "Are these good panties?"
Um...huh?  Oh, hell, I don't know, I have NO idea what panties are - let alone which ones I'm wearing....I have these fucking clothes pins trying to clamp off my nipples at the moment.  Gah!

He flicked the clothes pins and repeated his question - moving his hand to my waistband of the panties.
"Um," I said as I glanced down, cause I really had no idea which panties I was wearing at the moment. "Um, reasonably good, I guess."  "Too bad.  I want them off."  He said as he tore the panties off of me.

Oh hell, that is such a rush.  Such a show of force and a rush of testosterone I'm sure for him.  Oh, god, it makes me so wet and I can feel that rush of wetness created by that one single act of barbarism.

So now, I have a shirt pushed up over my pegged nipples and a skirt at my waist with no panties on.  He rubs my pussy.  He orders me to open my eyes and he stares into my sole as he touches.  He's claiming my body with his hands.   His eyes still holding mine captive, he takes one hand and grabs more clothespins.

He hands one to me.  "Here, clamp this on." he says as he rubs my labia.  My nipples are already clamped and he's pushed my knees apart earlier, so I know he means my outer lips.  Without breaking eye contact, I feel and clamp one on the left side of my lips.  Then I'm handed another and clamp on the right.  I repeat this again so I have four on.  He sets the other clips down and then looks at me.  He looks down there.  He takes his hands and opens me by the pins.  He pulls them to the side so he can expose my clit.  Oh, it is so objectifying and exciting and exhilarating.  I'm aroused to a dangerous level at this point.  You know, the place where you will indeed do ANYTHING.  Jump off the Empire State Building...Sure!  You know.

He removes one hand and begins to play with my clit.  Takes his other hand off and removes the peg from my right nipple.  He begins to suck, deep, hard, draws.  He flicks his tongue over my sensitized and now swollen nipple.  Ohmygod it feels soooooo good.  It feels...so much!  He picks his head up, pulling my nipple until it POPs out of his mouth, "Cum, fiona," he says and then bites my nipple.

Oh, Ah, OH.  I have not been trained to cum on command.  But he has worked me up and worked me over.  He's stroking my clit and I'm primed and pumped and ... YES, I cum.  The pain and pleasure is so amazing.

He moves his finger from my clit to my pussy.  He's finger fucking me and curling his finger inside so that it hits...just there.  He takes his other hand and removes the other clamp.  He repeats the process  He sucks, deep draws.  He sucks rhythmically until my poor dented nipple swells with blood rushing back in making it hyper sensitive.  He grazes his teeth against it, flicks his tongue against it.  Oh, Ahhhh.  He sucks hard as he pulls his head up.  He pulls my his breast along with it, then POP.  "Cum, fiona," he says and then bites my nipple and pumps his fingers in and out.

Like before, I ERUPT.  I can feel my pussy squeezing, convulsing against his fingers.  Oh I am awash with sensation.  I am also so proud that I could cum when commanded.  It is a huge, HUGE turn on for me.

"Now get your work done quickly, or I'll peg your nipples again.  Do you understand me, fiona?"

I know I must respond quickly and must move my body.  I am scrambled.  My mind and body are mushy.  I will my self to work with amazing speed.

I Fantasize

I lay on my bed, alone in my home.  

I spread my legs,

And close my eyes.

I turn on the vibrator.

I let my mind wander....

I'm in a camp, Sir is using me.

Because He so desires,

Sir let's others use me.

He commands me to kneel down.

He blindfolds me and 

Ties my hands behind my back.

He inserts a plug in my ass,

And a dildo in my pussy.

I am filled. 

He ties something around my waist...maybe a bit higher.

He commands me to open my mouth.

I can hear him walk away

He sits in his chair several yards away.

I fantasize...

I know I'm NOT an artist...
but this is what was in my head,
so I drew it.

Spank!

Just got this in my email...

I was shocked when I verified that it was my vanilla account.  

No Joke...!!

From Wicked to Contentment

Something wicked this way came.....


Sir has been traveling.  Not a long trip.  But while he was away, it feels like there has been a revolt.
From younger, from older, from me!

My kids have intermittently pitched ROYAL fits.  It has taken all of the will power I can muster to not loose my patience.

I've had a RUN-IN with my mother and was ... um .... what's just a shade past irate?

I had to sell something large which is a wickedly stressful thing for me.  I hate loathe dickering for prices, and as an added bonus, I suck at it.

Oh, and last night before bed Sir mentioned in passing that well after a decade of a tradition with my kids, his ENTIRE family has magically all decided to do something different, without conversation with ... I don't know ... THE PARENTS!

UGH.

Where is this going you ask?  Well. . .
I slept well last night.  Yea!
Sir comes home today.  Yea!

And.  And.

I just hung up the phone and told him that I was bitchy and belligerent.  I'm clearly in a mood.  I KNOW it will pass.  I KNOW I will get over it.  I KNOW parents will be parents...

...and I have some sympathy because I am one...
...but I need to remember NOT to pull the same shit with my children and their kids when they have them.

I want the comfort of submission.  No, it's not comfort.  It's...CONTENTMENT.  That's the word.  I am content, at ease, comfortable - peaceful even - when I am living in that head space.  I spent too long being large-and-in-charge.  I am sure Sir will make quick order of reasserting his dominance and I will welcome it.

Screen Free and Now Clit-Clamp-Free

This has been National Screen-Free Week.  So my poking around blogland has been limited to when the younger people go to sleep.  UGH.
(Lucky for me it's SCREEN-Free week and NOT sex-free week)

So....

I'll hope to be back to more regular posting soon...sorry.

Here's a pic I sent to my Sir, who is traveling for a few days again.

I used these as I masturbated today...He was very pleased.

Oh ya, and not like this is a newsflash...but those fuckers hurt in some places.
I've got many many clamps...have had them all put on my nipples and I love them
(ok, I love most of them - those clovers are evil)
...the clothes pins feel good on the labia...
but HOLY HELL...how does ANYONE ever clamp their clit for long?