Friday, August 9, 2013

Not Leaving It At 'No'

I had a retched run-in with a family member tonight.
It was painful and hurtful and ugly.

I cried in my room (something I do infrequently...cry)
Sir was helpful and supportive.

I asked if I could take time and just stay in my room.
I did so and then got kids to bed.
I then told Sir I was going to bed.

He came up a while later.
While I was in bed, laying on my stomach, I wasn't asleep.

He pulled the covers off of me, exposing my ass.
I roll over, immediately and say "no."

He raises his eyebrow.
"Roll back over, fiona." he says quietly.
It's not a request as much as a command.

I'm just out of sorts.  I'm NOT in that head space.
I'm sad and hurt and just NOT.
Unlike times in the past, where I have pushed, I roll back over.

He touches my ass - all of it...feeling, grabbing, rubbing.
He smacks my ass several times and then pulls up on my hips a bit
"raise up for me, fiona, and keep it there."

I raise up.
He starts to get ready for bed, brushing his teeth,
With the toothbrush in his hand, he walks back over and
with his free hand, spanks me, then rubs me.

He leaves, I hear him go to the bathroom, wash his hands...
as I wait on the bed with my ass in the air.
He walks back out and spanks me then rubs.

He's touching me so much, rubbing so much,
soothing, connecting, comforting, taking.

He leaves and gets things out for the morning.
He then comes back and this time, he's got his belt.

He whips my ass thoroughly, and I'm so hot and wet and
so in the moment, so present to him, to us.

We play, we fuck, he shows me porn snippets, we talk.

He didn't abandon me, leave me to my thoughts.
He finds pleasure for both of us.
He doesn't let me wallow.  He talks to me, yes.
He doesn't use D/s or spanking or sex to gloss over my night.
But he doesn't let me pull away.
He doesn't leave it at no.


  1. What more could you ask for? That's great that he was able to Know what you needed and then be willing to push past your rejection and objection to be what you need. Lucky girl


    1. Yes, P, I am very lucky. Thank you.
      Oh, I was so glad he's not typically his response.


  2. It's nice to have somebody that knows what we need, even if we think we don't need it.


    1. It's amazing how he manages to pull something like this off...know what I need when I didn't.


  3. Q is a very special person. I am sorry that you had the incident with family. Fortunately, you have tremendous support from Q.


    1. He is my rock, joey. I am very fortunate! I told him today that I was surprised that he did what he did...even when I said no. He just looked at me and said..."whose in charge, fiona?" mmmmmm....


  4. I;m so sorry you had a family blow up...those things hurt like fuck-all...a splinter to the heart. Your Sir is amazing...what a powerful connection you two have. I'm so happy for you, my friend, that He knows when and how to reach through your pain and free you from the little den you curl yourself up in.


    1. Hmmm, were you watching? I did kinda curl up in my little den of self-preservation. He is wonderful, I am so fortunate to have him. He did exactly what I needed and didn't know I wanted.

      Thanks for your support.



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