Sunday, June 7, 2015

A Bold Choice (Part 2 of Bringing It)

Sir and I had a conversation over the phone...

He explained that I was raised to be an alpha dog...
that I was trained to be like that.

He is so right...I was raised to be
one strong woman.
But not just strong...because I'm still strong...
but I was raised to be right...to be completely self sufficient
to be capable of everything.

And for the most part, I am.

But I'm Not.

I am capable...I am very self sufficient...I am strong...
I am hugely capable.
But I am NOT an alpha dog.

Well...I and I'm not.

I have been for a long long time...
but I am  me...I am most comfortable being submissive.

I am a natural submissive who was raised to be large and in charge.

It's taken me so long to figure that out.
But figure it out I have.... with Master's help.

"You found solace in submission because it is who you are." Master said.
"We are going to the next level."

He explained that a big part of where He is now and
where I am now has to do with when I gave him that piece of paper, as he says.
When I gave him my slave registration papers...
formally and completely giving myself to Him.

I told Him,
"I want to go to a place when I am allowed and expected to be who I am."

He explained that by giving Him that piece of paper,
we went from thinking...Oh on Saturday I like fettish play or I want a spanking.
That it was a bold choice and that I completely give myself up.

He told me that He had asked repeatedly if this is what I've wanted and
every time I've said yes...I want this...I want to be His...I want to be His slave!

He said, "I'm not asking any more.
You're mine.  
I own every bit of you.
It's no longer about you .  
It's about me."

He told me that He has some unhealthy habits to break and that
I REALLY have some unhealthy habits to break
and He's responsible to break those habits.

"I will break you of these habits.  
I will break these habits gently 
because I am a gentile man and 
sometimes I will break them brutally 
because that is the right thing."

"fiona, you are mine.  
I value my stuff.  
I don't want to break my stuff.  
I want you to take care of my stuff.  
I do want to push you but I don't want to break you.  
I expect you to tell me if I'm breaking you.
But I make no mistake...I will be deciding.  Always.
We're going to make this habitual.
This is a bold choice, fiona."



7 comments:

  1. Hang on girl you are in for quite a ride. I so get all of this...it could have been written by me.....hugs abby

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  2. Oh! This sounds exciting! And this is similar to a conversation that occured recently with my Master.

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  3. Good luck, it sounds like it's going to be a very interesting and educational, and above all mutually rewarding for you both. K

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  4. Thank you for this Fiona. It is wonderful. I am so interested to see how this goes. Having these same feelings in my marriage as well and reading your feelings here help to support mine.

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  5. Life has totally changed for both of you. I look forward to your updates and will pray for you both in your journey and cheer on your progress.

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  6. I really get this!! I too was raised to be strong, independent, always right...but I find I am much more comfortable being led than in being the leader. Good luck on your path:)

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  7. Wow, I'd be excited and nervous in your shoes! I do like what he says.

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Thank you very much for sharing your comments. This blogland world has become so much more meaningful because of the conversations that y'all have with me through comments...REALLY!

I appreciate them all and will endeavor to answer EVERY comment if at all possible!

THANK YOU
-fiona