So, Sir and I had spent
Many, Many years
decades even,
being switches.
Then four years being D/s, M/s, D/lg
where Sir was the D,M,D
- and of course I was the s,s,lg :)
...and over the past month or two,
we have had moments of our previous selves.
We have switched a time or ten.
It's tricky for us.
Sir can switch very quickly and easily.
I have a bit harder time, mentally.
and if...
no, when I cum...I mentally switch myself
I put myself into a submissive role.
Sir feels some guilt for it, I believe.
and
I feel guilt for not fulfilling his switching sides.
It's quite a quandry.
We talk, we communicate our feelings and needs.
We're working it out.
That's why it's called The Thing WE Do...
Yah, the trick in that case is to view your Domming as Domming from sub position at his command. It can be done! Eel if he will give you aftercare or whatever is your ritual following when he doms you in other ways.
ReplyDeleteI used to do it...long ago...and that's exactly how I did it. I saw it as a way that I could serve his needs and desires. But it is tricky, as I do have to swap my place if I want to cum. But I'm good at it and can certainly help him release - both physically, emotionally and intellectually - in a big way.
DeleteThanks for your comment!! I appreciate it!
hugs,
fiona
Yes, your intention in the switch, seeing yourself doing it as sub, is essential. Is he as intentional about it, telling you as Dom to service him in this way? And then providing you aftercare when you are done?
DeleteI'm thinking that this could lessen any sense of guilt he might feel for asking this of you (since it can cost you in that unique way of getting you out of your sub space for long enough to effectively switch for him), and reinforce his overall role as Dom since he provides you aftercare when you are done.
As Dom, does he express his love for you through gentle, cherishing sex, as well as the juicy d/s sex you've described? If so, maybe when you are done serving his release, he can then Dom you briefly to reset, then cherish you until you come, providing aftercare, without him having to go into full Dom activity and thereby take himself out of the relaxed state of release. An idea :-). You'll figure it out, of course, as you explore this new way of doing TTYD.
You are WISE. I will share your comment with him. That seems like a brilliant idea! He isn't intentional about asking me to Top him. That may help. He used to always switch back at the end...reinstating his authority so to speak. It was always so helpful, as long as I was right there and let go. Sometimes it was hard. It kind of depends on how much I switch, mentally. Remember that we were switches for many many years prior to becoming more full-time D/s. In recent times, he hasn't switched back. Frequently, after I've worked him over, and then eventually made him cum, he's wiped and collapses in exhaustion. It doesn't help that we live our lives way too sleep deprived. But that means, that there hasn't been any switching back at the end. He decided that he would Dom -with no switching - for a couple weeks and then we'd talk about how to incorporate what He needs or wants that is outside of that. Figure out how to make it all work. It does fill a need for Him and I can't stand to feel so selfish as to not fulfill His needs.
DeleteI so appreciate your ideas and you taking the time to discuss. Thank you so much. If you have any other ideas or thoughts, feel free to continue the comments or email me (sirqsmlb@gmail.com)
hugs,
fiona
That is the whole thing isn't it? TTWD...........Lovely to see you back blogging, and hoping there is more to come xx
ReplyDeleteThanks julie. I've really missed being here. I'm going to work on it.
Deletehugs,
fiona