Switching

This is an answer to joey's question and clarification to a followup question by aisha:

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So Sir and I were a couple who switched D and s roles at a whim.  We regularly had vanilla sex, but more frequently had some D or s as part of the dynamic.  But who was being Dom and who was sub depended on the day and on the need.  Submission filled a huge need in our lives when we were feeling stressed or overwhelmed by life...by work.  Submission was a way to safely float away from all of that, like it or not.  For me, submission was an aphrodisiac and at the heart of all my fantasies.

I know I've gone on and on about how....yikes....a year and a half ago (time flies when your being spanked and flogged), the switching stopped being our norm and D/s became D (Sir) and s (fiona).  This has been 100% fulfilling for me.  I have NO need for being Dominant.  It is not something that EVER is part of my fantasies.  I have never - not once - thought about it in a fantasy.  If I ever dominated Sir and had an orgasm, the fantasy in my mind was one of submission.

But Sir gets something from Dominating me AND from submitting.  They both fuel him.  They fulfill different needs.  If Sir is ever super stressed with a great deal or emotionally wrung out, etc.... then submission may appeal to him.  It's not frequent, but still there.




I've been uneasy blogging about this.  I don't know why I felt like it was inappropriate.  I think in my mind, I worried that others might think my Sir is less than he is because he switches periodically.  The same could be said for me...that I was less submissive because I would dominate periodically.   But then, I was talking with a kinky friend of mine and she asked why I felt it was not blogable - that masculinity and virility has absolutely nothing to do with which side of a flogger you're on.  So, I've been thinking about that.  My adoration for my Sir is unflappable and undeniable.  My place and relationship with him is Rock SOLID.  My submission is absolute, but more importantly, his Dominance is also absolute.  This blog is mine.  I should write what I want and not worry.  This community has proven to be extraordinarily accepting and loving and kind.  So...

D/s, 99% of the time, for US means D (Sir) and s (fiona).  However, 1% of the time, he really needs a playtime of submission.  This submission is only playtime.  The fascinating thing is he SWITCHES back in prime fashion.  Typically at the end of me dominating him, he growls in that animalistic way, becomes amazingly primal, ULTRA dominant and flips me, fucks me and reasserts his dominance.  He reclaims what is HIS.  We end every time in very solid D (Sir) / s (fiona)  roles.

We fulfill our needs and remain the same, fabulous, in love, passionate, attune, couple that we are.  He maintains his Dominance and I maintain my submission.  I no longer consider us to be switches because this is never emotionally tied, it is only physical in nature, it happens few and far between and because the play is momentary and inside our bedroom only, while our typical D/s is in and outside the bedroom.

WE make TTWD what it needs to be for US and  ...  it WORKS!