Thursday, November 14, 2013

Ask For It


So Sir has this nasty, abhorrent, sadistic
habit of saying....

"Ask for it, fiona."

But, why?  
Why make me ask?

I hate loathe to ask.

He knows what I want,
why does he make me ask for it?

It's embarrassing.
It's difficult.
It's humiliating.
It makes me too vulnerable.
I want YOU to just take, anyway.
It's...oh hell...just do...don't make me ask!

He explained to me the other day why.

I was dumb founded.

I think I didn't give him enough credit
sometimes too frequently.  
He knows what he's doing.

HOLY SHIT!
He KNOWS what he's doing!

He explained that I am so strong willed
and I fight, internally so much,
that he makes me ask for it,
or bring him the implement,
or bend over on my own,

as an outward sign of my submission

and that when I do this,
it helps ME break down my own internal walls

and puts me in a better mind set

and makes me more pliable and submissive.

HOLY SHIT,

Who knew?  
Well he did, obviously...

It's kind of sad that it was a revelation to me,
but one that I'm thrilled to have had!
Thank you, Sir.

26 comments:

  1. Hmmm, I think this is one of those things that is written somewhere in the Dom's handbook. A strong willed submissve..is there any other kind??
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I so want a copy of that handbook! I may feel more settled if I can just understand a few more motivations. Seriously....I figured I was the only strong-willed submissive...slightly defective. I'm glad to know there are others!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  2. i agree with abby, it had to be written in that handbook. Mine makes me ask for certain things all the time. For the same reason too. hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm, I'm surprised that I didn't figure out his reason before now. Seriously slow, I guess. How do you suppose we get a hold of one of those handbooks?

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  3. Fiona,

    Every submissive I know is strong willed. Asking for it is very hard.

    I guess I am too easy, I do not wait to be asked. Or, perhaps I am too impatient.

    Sir Q knows how to push your buttons, lucky you.

    Hugs,
    joey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Asking for things for me is so hard. I pride my self on self-reliance.

      I seriously had no idea that other submissive were strong willed. I'm happy to know I'm not alone.

      Ya, Sir knows how to push TOO many of my buttons!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  4. I still like it better when it happens w/o my asking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ya, I'm with you Leigh. I wish he wouldn't make me ask!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  5. I agree with Sunny Girl but I'm glad you had this revelation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The revelation was way to long in coming...but I'm thrilled I get it now. I think it may help with my internal struggle.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  6. My Master likes me to ask for it, well actually he likes me to beg, because it gives him a kick to see me so desperate, to let myself completley go and ask for what i want/need....

    and its something i used to struggle with a lot, it doesnt mean though he will give me what im asking/begging for but also i think its nice for him to know i truely desire it..and therefore him.

    not sure if that makes sense lol

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tori, you ALWAYS make sense! Mine likes me to beg too...loves when I'm just mindless with need and desire.

      Fabulous comment, thanks tori!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Hahaha...great idea to make me ask. UGH. =)

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  8. I was once told ... "never tell a Dom you hate something" ... truer words have never been spoken I think.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is SOOOO true!! Sadists!

      then again, we're masochists...so.....

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  9. You? Strong willed? I never would've guessed!!!! Seems he knows you better than you gave him credit for. And that's awesome!

    hugs
    p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My, whatever are you saying P? You think I'm strong willed?? hahahhaha...OK, so ya, maybe that's an understatement. What comes after strong willed? I had no idea...he seems so freaking unobservant sometimes. Who knew?

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  10. Oh that is difficult to ask for it. I would rather that Ty just know without me telling him. Except maybe when he is making me beg, then I would ask or say anything

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  11. I don't like asking either. It throws off the dynamic. But sometimes I have no choice because I have a wilder imagination that he does, so things won't ever happen unless I communicate them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's tricky, isn't it. I'm the same way...except every once and a while he pulls out a crazy scene and dayam.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  12. Oh, I just realized you might have been talking about something you already normally do together, but sometimes he makes you ask for it, and my theory on that is, they like to hear us talk dirty. But I'm SO bad at that, I feel like he probably regrets it as soon as I try in a very stiff uncomfortable way to say what he wants to hear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He makes me ask...for things we regularly do. Ask for a spanking...command me to bring him the crop or the blasted-hairbrush. For me, I don't mind talking dirty, have no problem with that. I do, however struggle with asking for ... a spanking - among other things.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  13. Oh, yes. It's also about taking responsibility for ourselves and showing self-respect.

    Nicely stated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do understand taking responsibility for myself...but ...for me it's frequently allowing myself to be submissive and not fighting it.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete

Thank you very much for sharing your comments. This blogland world has become so much more meaningful because of the conversations that y'all have with me through comments...REALLY!

I appreciate them all and will endeavor to answer EVERY comment if at all possible!

THANK YOU
-fiona