OK, well Sir is still pissy about my
gigantic bruise on my ass…
THAT HE PUT THERE!
So, I asked him about it.
"So, what exactly bothers you so much
about the bruise…especially when you
know I love it?"
"It feels just too close to…
like I'm really hurting you."
I kinda giggled here…
I know, not the best response,
but I mean…REALLY?!?!
"Um, well…you are!
Do you really think that
when you hit me
as hard as you do sometimes
with things like ...
a metal spatula (the culprit of the new gigantic bruise)
or a leather crop
or a belt
or the fuckinghairbrush
that it doesn't hurt?"
"I just don't think it's healthy
it's not good for your body
for me to be bruising you."
hmmmmm.
"I love you.
But I also do like the marks…
I'm not wanting them all the time,
but sometimes.
Remember, Sir, there is a difference
between hurting me and harming me.
I like being hurt.
It turns me on…
but,
I appreciate that you aren't harming me."
to which he simply
smiled at me and
gently caressed my cheek.
That difference between harming and hurting...it is what trust is built on....Yes often find it funny...in a strange way...that Master sometimes gets upset because of 'hurting' me....what are they thinking??
ReplyDeletehugs abby
I know? Right! I mean seriously, abby….they are hitting us…with some serious force….over and over. Now - the difference…CONSENT! But not just consent…DESIRE! I want ever stroke he gives me (most of the time).
Deletehugs,
fiona
My goodness Fiona, this conversation is currently going on in our house. Left ass cheek and small boobie bruises.
ReplyDelete"...not just consent...DESIRE!"
Yes, what she said!! My Man's comment was that he doesn't want to mark me. Hhhmm.... I love the marks and we both seem to love how I got the marks in the first place =) How is this not a Win/win?!
I know. I think there is an internal struggle between harm and hurt. Bruises I think come too close to harm for some Dom's…and probably too far away for some subs ;)
Deletehugs,
fiona
This is a common thread for us too. I think its a good thing though, for them to be concerned with our well being. I certainly don't want Ash freaking out over every mark he gives me, but I appreciate that he takes care not to damage my body beyond what a few days of healing will take care care of :-) Very good explanation on harming vs hurting! Men are such visual creatures. My husband loves my cries of distress and my tears, but bruises or blood, not so much :-)
ReplyDeleteI think it is a good thing…I'm grateful that Sir is cautious…I just wish he was a little LESS cautious :)
Deletehugs,
fiona
I will say that I was a lot more excited about my marks than my Master was. For a long time he wouldn't let me post pictures of them even. I think he likes them more now, but probably still not as much as I do.
ReplyDeleteI think the evolution of a Dom is a fascinating thing…especially in retrospect. Hmmmm….makes me wonder where the next 10 years will find us :)
Deletehugs,
fiona
I love the distinction between hurting and harming...brilliant way to explain it. I love marks, but he's always been so afraid of them.
ReplyDeleteI think it is an important distinction…because it DOES hurt! But I WANT that hurt…because it also turns to the most amazing pleasure!
Deletehugs,
fiona