Real Neat Blog Award

Thank you to tori for the nomination.

The rules...UGH, I'm not a born rule follower!  Blogland is always so challenging to me :)

1)  Put the award logo in your post
2)  Answer 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you
3)  Nominate any number of bloggers you like, linking to their blogs
4)  Let them know you nominated them

tori's questions

1)  You win £5,000 what do you spend it on, nothing boring like bills etc...for yourself, both, home etc?
So today that would equal $7380.70 or 6817,09 Euro...hmmmmm well if I can't pay bills...then...tuition for my kids school, buy screens for my windows or a screen door or help pay for summer travel plans or buy gifts for my husband and kids.  I'm kinda a practical girl like that.  I don't like to spend much on me, but I do LOVE to spend money on my Sir and kids and we have a long list of things we need for our house. Sadly, I'd probably spend it on nothing fun.

2)  Your significant other, gives you the option of doing something kink wise, for one night, your choice, whatever you like, free reign..what you going to do?
free reign....wow.  That WOULD be exciting.  I would love to go to a club (kink) or have another join us for a night, or have him use the spreader bar and really restrain me and use me and SPANK me and FLOG me and fuck me and and and .... yikes, I'm all hot and bothered now.  UGH.

3)  Breakfast in bed, chilling together or a night out at your favourite restaurant?
This is SO easy!  Chilling together.  We don't get enough time to just chill.  We're always multi tasking...chilling means working and chilling or cleaning and chilling or folding clothes and chilling.  Just to have time to relax together!  YEA!  Breakfast in bed, no way - don't like breakfast too much.  Favorite restaurant, yes - but can't beat time with Master to hang (literally and figuratively)!

4)  Whats the last music album you bought/downloaded?
We listen to a LOT of music as a family...in the car, in the house, on iPods, all the time!

Well, let me take a look at my phone, just a minute.  

Ok, well last few songs were: an old one - Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vega,  Bright by echosmith, Centuries by Fall Out Boy, Animals by Maroon 5, Lips are Movin by Meghan Trainor.

5)  What advice would you give your 18 year old self looking back, knowing what you do know now, about anything...you choose?
Hmmm...well 18 was a pivotal year!  
1.  Don't change majors!  Stick it out.  
2.  Study and don't skip classes, dumb-ass!
3.  Keep drinking and keep having fun!  So worth it.  Let go a little more!
4.  Jump your Sir (ya, would have NEVER said Sir, I would have thrown up a little a LOT at 18 if I had told me that he would be my Master and I would be submissive to him.)  Yes, I was 18 when I started dating him.  
5.  Learn grace.  Don't argue with others even if you are right.  Learn to be graceful.
6.  You are beautiful.  Embrace that!  
7.  Some of your best friends right now will be gone in the next 10-15 years.   Enjoy every minute with them and always tell people how you feel about them!

What can I say...it was definitely a HUGE year!


6)  New shoes or a new dress? why that choice?....no you cant have both lol
New shoes.  I'm not really happy with my size or weight right now, so clothes are a necessary evil and not something fun at the moment.  But shoes are a blast!

7)  Do you have any rules/expectations you wish you didn't have or are there rules/expectations you don't have but would like?
I wish I could bite his lip all the time.  I love to do it.  He hates it and spanks me or slaps me HARD every time I do it.  So it's almost never any more!  I wish i had more rules from him...but who am i kidding.  We're treading water keeping our heads bobbing in the ocean of daily life right now.  No more anything.

ok, the difficult part...nominees
trying to gleam who was nominated already...I'll try to pick some I haven't see nominated yet.  Sorry if I double up.

1)  ancilla at A slave to Master

2)  abby at finally finding "me"

3)  Conina at Exploring Surrender

4)  nilla at VanillaMom

5)  sofia at Loving Submission

6)  subkitty at His omega

7)  julie at MPB

8)  ronnie at ronniesoul


OK - sorry, I got a bit carried away!


And the 7 questions

1)  What scares you most about TTWD, and conversely what are you most gratified about your journey through TTWD?

2)  What is your favorite tradition surrounding your birthday (or if you don't have one - around a holiday that you like)?

3)  If you're home alone, is there music playing, a television on, or quite in your home?

4)  What's your favorite book, movie and song?

5)  If you were 18, found your blog and read it, what would your reaction be?

6)  What qualities, do you think, is your significant other is most attracted to in you?

7)  What is your favorite toy to make you cum?  What's a fantasy of yours using that toy?


Well...there you go.  Have fun!

Behavior Modification

I asked Sir to do something for...
US
He basically said that he'd get someone else to do it
I told him that I would take care of it,
but that he was shirking his responsibility.

He was in the kitchen with me
and walked over to the utensil drawer,
without a word, he opened it,

"But I was saying it respectfully
I wasn't being cheeky!"
I quickly spit out as he took out the
large metal spatula.

"I mean, you could do it, 
I did all of the other parts,
I didn't mean it to be disrespectful!
I quickly spit out as I ran around
the island away from him.

Our house, like many makes a big circle.
He turns, looks sternly at me and calmly says,
"Come here."
not menacingly, just more playfully.

I ran from the island to the living room
and he gives chase.

I run full speed, through the living room,
through the music room,
into the kitchen.

And he's hot on my trail.

I'm laughing
it's what I do when I'm nervous!

and he's laughing.

and he's chasing
and I'm running

he's laughing and I'm laughing

and we go round and round.

He tries to be tricky and double back,
but he makes too much noise and we simply
reverse directions.

I finally make an executive decision
and dash off to our room
I slam the door and lock it
RIGHT
before Sir makes it to the door.
He tries it and I'm holding the lock
so he walks away.

Before he's made it five steps,
I QUICKLY
unlock the door,
fling it open
and go lay over the bed.

He walks back in
and immediately says,
"Oh, good girl!"

He proceeds to spank my ass
with the gigantic metal spatula.

He spanks softly,
ten, fifteen or so.
Then he starts building up in intensity.

Harder and harder.

It's feeling so good.

Then he says,
"Say, shirking responsibility."
"shirking responsibility"

SMACK
superfuckinghard!

then he goes back to tap, Tap, TAPing

I'm starting to breath hard
"Say, shirking responsibility."
"shirking responsibility"

SMACK
YOUCHHHHHHH!


then he goes back to tap, Tap, TAPing

This time he keeps going for a bit longer then 

again says

"Say, shirking responsibility."
"No, Sir.  It's not appropriate to infer that 
you were doing that.  I'm sorry Sir.

Hmmmm...there's something to his
behavior modification.

It was fun, funny AND effective!

The Cane and the Teddy Bear

After dinner I went into our room
and began to fold clean clothes
(oh yes...so mundane)

Sir came up behind me and
put his arms around.
He fondled my breasts,
took off my bra,
and pinched and pulled my nipples
until I was starting to moan.

He whispered in my ear
that he was very happy with what I had made for dinner
and that I had not been too inappropriate
when he was late for dinner
and that I was doing such a better job of listening
and obeying.

He told me that as a reward,
he would cane me,
so I was to drop my pants and lay over the side of the bed.

I quickly did, and he retrieved the cane.

He tapped so nicely and I was really enjoying
until he TAPPED.
YOUCH!

then he immediately went back to light
taps
As I started to moan,
TAP
YOUCH!

Then as the pattern continues and I'm starting to
really let go,
he tells me to start asking for it.

So when the pain morphs into warm, yummy feelings
I have to ask.
If I don't ask quickly enough the TAP is excruciating...
ok - not excruciating but really severe.

---------

Later, I was talking to Sir and said,
"Sometimes, would you just let me float away,
and not pull my back?"

He asked what I meant and I explained
that as he makes me ask for things
or communicate, that he pulls me back
from floating away on my endorphins high into
lovely floaty sub-space.

and he laughs...
NOT an evil laugh...
a total teddy bear laugh,
grins at me,
and says,
"Well, I guess, that's just part of the sadist in me."

So freaking incongruous...
talking about the sadist in him
all the while smiling like a
cuddly, darling, teddy bear.

Oh, do I ever love my Master!

Words

Sir was playing
WordsWithFriends and announces to me,
as I walk into the room,

"I just tried to play the word "SLUT" 
and it said that it wasn't a word."

"What's up with that?"

incredulously, I replay,
"did you just say slut??"

"Yes, slut, it won't let me play such an obvious word...SLUT"

lmfaooooooooooooooooo

Blondie's Questions

1. Please feel free to ask more questions or follow-up, March Question Month is over half over :)  I'm also happy to ask my Sir, as I know you rarely actually hear from him…as he doesn't read or write anywhere in blogland.  But I can ask and relay information.

Blondieasked and I'll answer:

1.  Do you have, or plan on having a collar. And if so, when and where would you wear it. 

Sir would like to get a collar for me.  He has mentioned it many times. He wants a choker that I would wear all the time.  I am reticent.  I don't love tight choker collars.  I don't know...we'll see.   Maybe  a compromise?  Does anyone have any recommendations?  I was thinking anklet maybe?  

2.  Is there a fantasy that Sir has that you will make happen?
Sir has frequently fantasized about allowing another in a scene with us.  He's thought of a woman that he can Top and who will in turn Top me. He would like to see me eat her out and suck on her tits and her spank me and fuck me.  Similarly, he's fantasized about giving me to another man to be used.  As for me making them happen...I would love to - either.  But only under his direction and command.  But I would love to serve another as part of his command.  I doubt he will ever act on these fantasies, but I would certainly be willing :) 

Lesson Learned

Well...I was irrational, seriously pissed, and just too exhausted to behave properly.

The net result?

Me being an idiot.

What did I learn from this?

Don't every, I mean NEVER,
call your Dom, Sir, Master or Daddy

"an asshat."

and seriously,
Don't even think about telling him

"to grow a pair".

Yup, that's right...I moronically told my Master, 
not once, but several times,
to grow a pair.

I may have even shouted it.

YIKES.

Well...that was the tipping point in our fight (over totally mundane and stupid shit, btw).

With me telling him to grow a pair and hitting him with a pillow,

He launched himself out of bed,
bodily subdued me,
spanked the ever loving shit out of my his ass
and then abused the shit out of my his tits
all the while asking me,
"Is THIS growing a pair?"

(It wasn't for fun or present,
it hurt like a MOTHERFUCKER!)

By the end, I had a total reset...
we had a total reset...
fight over,
me done being a complete bitch,
apologies said and accepted,
world righted!
Lesson learned!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------


As an aside,
the next day at work my Sir said that he was in a meeting and
respectfully but directly called someone on their shit 
and one of his colleagues said later,
"Man, You really have a pair.  That was exactly what was needed!"

Sir called me and recounted the story and we laughed and laughed.  

Yanking My Chain

So, Today, Sir had me wear my shirt with a cupless bra

And when I showed him, he put on clamps with their chain...

Then pulled down my shirt and admired my nipples
and the fact that you couldn't really see the clamps or chain.

Throughout the afternoon, he discreetly reached under my shirt
and would yank my chain :)

Graeme and tori's Questions

1. Please feel free to ask more questions or follow-up.  I'm also happy to ask my Sir, as I know you rarely actually hear from him…as he doesn't read or write anywhere in blogland.  But I can ask and relay information.

Graeme asked and I'll answer:
What is the best way for you to cum?
Well right now, I'd say it's with Sir's magic fingers.  Even after all this time, he's learned new tricks...and he can play me like a fiddle!  Fireworks ain't got nothing on Him!  After that, I'd say with clit stimulation...i.e. a vibrator!  You add any anal play to that, pain, nipple stimulation and it just ups the anti!

tori asked and I'll answer:

1.  How do you feel you have grown since starting this journey?
WOW.  Well...I believe our communication, which started out strong, has only gotten better.  I also have, um, mellowed?  OK, so that's the nice way of saying that I'm so much less bitchy.  I don't argue with Sir all the time.  I am more patient, polite, settled, content!  That's all as a result of our journey!

2.  Would you like to go to a bdsm/kinky club? why or why not?

Oh would I tori!  I would so love to.  Many a fantasy have taken place in a club.  I am positive I would be terrified...but would so love the experience.  I would love to witness others, have the freedom to publicly be...US.  I would love for Sir to be able to spank me in public...or have others do so...or more!  A girl can dream :)

Abby's Questions

1. Please feel free to ask more questions or follow-up.  I'm also happy to ask my Sir, as I know you rarely actually hear from him…as he doesn't read or write anywhere in blogland.  But I can ask and relay information.

abby asked and I'll answer:
1.  List 3 times in your kinky bucket list
Hmmmm...well, I don't have an explicit bucket list...but let me think.
     1.  Go to BDSM club.

     2.  Have another woman play with us.

     3.  Be used by another with Sir's oversight.
2.  List 3 items in you non kinky bucket list
     1.  Travel to ... everywhere...anywhere.  I love to travel!

     2.  Take my children out of the country again

     3.  Go back to school and get another degree
3.  What is your favorite way to de-stress?
     Well...this is so easy!  SEX!   If not sex, then spanking.  In a perfect world...BOTH!   :)
4.  What present would be at the top of your birthday wish list?
     Funny...my birthday is coming soon :)  I made a list for my Sir last week and at the top was a Hitachi.  The three following items were...violet wand, nipple suction, new wrist/ankle cuffs.

SubHub in Phoenix Question

1. Please feel free to ask more questions or follow-up.  I'm also happy to ask my Sir, as I know you rarely actually hear from him…as he doesn't read or write anywhere in blogland.  But I can ask and relay information.

SubHub in Phoenix asked and I'll answer:
1.  You are obviously excited about the prospect transition from submissive to slave, as you should be .... What, if anything, makes you nervous about that transition into a slave?  
Hmmm Nervous.  Well, I suppose the thing that I'm most nervous about is failing.  Not that I anticipate that...and I don't actually expect that we will...but life changes and we evolve along with it.  We'll see where the wind blows us.

2.  What are your hard limits?... what are your soft limits? I guess that's 2 more
Hahahah....well..As Sir and I were together ... FOREVER ... we've evolved into our more formal D/s relationships from longtime switches very slowly but slowly.  Because of that, we've never had formal limit listings.  That said...I'm guessing hard limits might include...
blood.  Sir doesn't like blood so needle and knife play is out for him.  
scat.  I'm not into scat - pretty sure he isn't either.   

ok...so truth.
I'm writing this response and then wonder what I haven't thought of because I couldn't think of anything past those two answers...so ... Google.  I googled BDSM Limit List and the first link I clicked on gave me an extensive list ... so I looked and this is what I determined based on the list...

I will add....

• Weight Gain.  I struggle with my weight.  I'm not thin. I wouldn't ever allow myself to intentionally gain weight.
• Swallowing Urine.  Just not my thing.
• Shaving Hair (Head).  Sir loves my hair to be long.  He wouldn't ever allow that.
• Serving as toilet (feces).  Not interested.
• Serving as ashtray.  
• Mummification.  That may be panic inducing for me.  
• Infantilism.  
• Given away to another Dom (perm).  I belong to Sir.  He's my husband, my love and my life.
• Gas masks.  I'm just not interested.
• Diaper (soil).  Nah.
• Catheterization.  I used to struggle with yeast infections...I just don't want to tempt fate.
• Brown showers (scat).  No thanks.

complete list from the website:
Abrasion
Age play
Anal sex
Anal plugs (small)
Anal plugs (large)
Anal plug (public, under clothes)
Animal roles
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)
Aromas
Asphyxiation
Auctioned for charity
Bathroom use control
Bestiality
Beating (soft)
Beating (hard)
Blindfolds
Being serviced (sexual)
Being bitten
Breast bondage
Breath control
Branding
Boot worship
Bondage (light)
Bondage (heavy)
Bondage (multi-day)
Bondage (public, under clothing)
Breast whipping
Brown showers (scat)
Cages (locked inside of)
Caning
Catheterization
Cells/Closets (locked inside of)
Chains
Chamber pot use
Chastity belts
Chauffeuring
Choking
Chores (domestic service)
Clothespins
Cock worship
Collars (worn in private)
Collars (worn in public)
Competitions (with other Subs)
Corsets (wearing)
Corset training(waist reduction)
Cuffs (leather)
Cuffs (metal)
Cutting
Dental work(elective)
Diapers(wetting)
Diapers(soiling)
Dilation
Dildoes
Double penetration
Electricity
Enemas
Enemas(non-water)
Enforced chastity
Erotic dance(public)
Examinations (physical)
Exercise (forced/required)
Exhibitionism (friends)
Exhibitionism (strangers)
Eye contact restrictions
Face slapping
Fantasy abandonment
Fantasy rape
Fantasy gang-rape
Fear (being scared)
Fisting (anal)
Fisting (vaginal)
Flogging (light)
Flogging (heavy)
Following orders
Foot worship
Forced bedwetting
Forced dressing
Forced homosexuality
Forced masturbation
Forced nudity (private)
Forced nudity (around others)
Forced servitude
Forced smoking(non-smoker)
Force-feeding
Full head hoods
Gags (cloth)
Gags (rubber)
Gags (tape)
Gags(phallic)
Gags(inflated)
Gas masks
Genital sex
Given away to another Dom (temp)
Given away to another Dom (perm)
Golden showers
Gun play
Hairbrush spankings
Hair pulling
Hand jobs (giving)
Hand jobs (receiving)
Harems (serving w/other subs)
Harnessing (leather)
Harnessing (rope)
Having food chosen for you
Having clothing chosen for you
Head (giving fellatio)
High heel worship
High heel wearing(forced)
Homage with tongue (non-sexual)
Hoods
Hot oils (on genitals)
Hot waxing
Housework (doing)
Human puppy dog
Humiliation (private)
Humiliation (public)
Hypnotism
Ice cubes
Immobilization
Infantilism
Initiation rites
Injections
Japanese rope bondage
Interrogations
Kidnapping
Kneeling
Knife play
Leather clothing
Leather restraints
Lectures for misbehavior
Licking (non-sexual)
Lingerie (wearing)
Manacles & Irons
Manicures (giving)
Massage (giving)
Massage (receiving)
Medical scenes
Modeling for erotic photos
Mouth bits
Mummification
Nipple clamps
Nipple weights
Oral/anal play (rimming)
Over-the-knee spanking
Orgasm denial
Orgasm control
Outdoor scenes
Outdoor sex
Pain (severe)
Pain (mild)
Persona training
Phone sex (serving Dom)
Phone sex (serving Dom's friends)
Phone sex(calling at random)
Phone sex(commercial)
Piercing (temporary)
Piercing (permanent)
Plastic surgery
Prison scenes
Prostitution(public pretend)
Prostitution(actual)
Pony slave
Public exposure
Punishment Scene
Pussy whipping
Pussy worship
Riding crops
Riding the horse (crotch tort.)
Rituals
Religious scenes
Restrictive rules on behavior
Rubber/latex clothing
Rope body harness
Saran wrapping
Scratching - getting
Scratching - giving
Sensory deprivation
Serving
Serving as art
Serving as ashtray
Serving as furniture
Serving as a maid
Serving as toilet (urine)
Serving as toilet (feces)
Serving as waitress
Serving orally (sexual)
Serving others (supervised)
Serving others (unsupervised)
Sexual deprivation (short term)
Sexual deprivation (long term)
Shaving (body hair)
Shaving (head hair)
Skinnydipping
Sleep deprivation
Sleepsacks
Slutty clothing (private)
Slutty clothing (public)
Spanking
Spandex clothing
Speech restrictions
Speculums (Anal)
Speculums (vaginal)
Spreader bars
Standing in corner
Stocks
Straight jackets
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)
Strap-on-dildos (wearing)
Strapping (full body beating)
Suspension (upright)
Suspension (inverted)
Suspension (horizontal)
Supplying partners for Dom
Swallowing semen
Swallowing urine
Swallowing feces
Swapping (one other couple)
Swinging (multiple couples)
Tattooing
Teasing
Tickling
Topless Beaches
Triple penetration
Uniforms
Including others
Vaginal dildo
Verbal humiliation
Vibrator on genitals
Voyeurism (watching others)
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)
Video (watching others)
Video (recordings of you)
Voice training
Water torture
Waxing (hair removal)
Wearing symbolic jewelery
Weight loss(<25 lbs)
Weight loss(>25 lbs)
Weight gain(<25 lbs)
Weight gain(25-50 lbs)
Weight gain(>50 lbs)
Whipping
Wooden paddles
Wrestling

DelFonte's Question

Thanks for the questions.

I really appreciate them, really!

It's interesting to explore questions that people ask...think about something I haven't thought about before...things that I often just hadn't thought about or explored - both vanilla and kinky.  So...really - Thank YOU!

Please feel free to ask more or follow-up.  I'm also happy to ask my Sir, as I know you rarely actually hear from him...as he doesn't read or write anywhere in blogland.  But I can ask and relay information.

DelFonte asked and I'll answer:

1. What are you looking forward to most about being a slave and how do you think the shift to M/s will compare to how your dynamic currently works?

I actually think it is our normal D/s but just...more.  I am working on being much more obedient and he has certainly been more...dominant on the whole.  I don't know if anything will change other than we have solidified our places much more than before.  I could be wrong, but that's my current thought.

2. What music have you been listening to lately?

A LOT!  I listen and sing all the time with the kids and without.  So...I pulled up my iPod play list and my most frequently placed recent files are...
      Take Me to Church by Hozier
      Centuries by Fall Out Boy
      Animals by Maroon V
      Lips are Movin by Meghan Trainor
      Style by Taylor Swift
      Fancy by Iggy Azalea
      Habits by Tove Lo 

March Questions

OOPS....I forgot!

It's March!

hehehehe

Well...here goes.

I,
     fiona,
cordially invite you,
     my readers,
to

A
S
K

...anything.
Ask Sir Q or me whatever you have been wondering.
Nothing is silly or stupid or trivial or unappreciated.
I will do my best to get answers to all.

Hugs,
fiona

Registered

Well...thanks to a post from tori at Pain's Pleasure,
where she was telling about the Slave Registry,

I got a wild hair and decided to investigate.

Then, of course, decided that I should register myself
and give my registration to Sir for Valentine's day.

So...after doing just that...
I got swept up in vanilla life with kids and ...
WaLa...totally forgot that I had done it.

UGH.  My mind is so shot!

Then, out of the blue, we had a conversation where
Sir tells me he wants me to be His Slave...

What are the chances?

At which point, I remember that I had registered myself.  OMG!

So...I printed out my registration papers and ...

presented them to my Sir...to my Master.

He
Was
Thrilled!

Can you believe it?

I am still shocked that He wants me...as a submissive
That He accepts me as a masochist, spanko.
That He wants what I want to give him.

But when He was ... honored

Yes, that was how he reacted,
he was honored,
that I gave him Slave papers.

He put them in our safe and ...

proceeded to beat his slave...

in all the best ways!

Slave

So...Sir and I had a
middle of the night,
when snuggled together in the
dark of our bed
heart-to-heart.

He told me that he wanted all of me.

I told him that I wanted him to have all of me.

We continued to discuss...what this meant.

Giving and Accepting...

• body
• mind
• mouth
• tongue
• limits

I told him that I wanted to give him...

everything.

He told me that he wanted it, Now.

He told me that he wanted me to be his slave.

OMFG

I didn't even know he knew the word...what it meant.
I mean - of course he KNOWs the word, but not in this context!

So we discussed what being his slave means to Him.

To US it means me giving up more... 

working harder on being His...
No more just saying No...giving up my limits and expectations...

Adhering to His limits, His expectations, His to use or not as He sees fit.  

His!