Monday, March 3, 2014

Submission vs. Obedience

So, DV at A Dauntless Journey had a post about Submission vs Obedience.

You know how there are those posts every once that just speak to you.

Well, I read this one and it was like a lot of things clicked into place.

I feel kind of like a new (or maybe just a bit back to the old) me!


So, I've written several times in the recent past that
I've been struggling with my submission, but I think
I've actually been struggling with my obedience and 
that has been putting a strain on my submission.

The way DV explains the difference between 
submission and obedience makes a lot of sense to me…
a brief snippet of his post…

"submission is what is inside and what you feel, whereas obedience is the actual action that take place.  Obedience is part of submission, but submission isn't necessarily part of obedience.  You have to feel it in your heart and then your actions to represent what you feel, for the two to be part of the same thing.  Anyone can drop down on their knees, but it's what you feel inside and the intent behind it that holds the true meaning."

My comment to DV was:
"Thank you so much for your very timly post. I've been struggling with my submission for a while now. But what I actually think, after reading this, is that I've been fighting my obedience. I think I periodically do this because it was so ingrained in me in childhood that submission was weekness and inherently bad. But it feeds me and nurtures me. Thank you so very much for your post."


I was raised to believe that 
submitting to anyone…ever
was a sign of weakness and 
always a fault or a sadness.

Oh, poor so-and-so, she's just let's herself get run over.

Now the fact that I submit to my husband
that would be a crime beyond punishment.
For a woman to submit to anyone, let alone a man
clearly means she has no self-worth and 
is week and faulty and broken.

But here I am…
I am submissive.

I love being submissive.

I am calmer,
more patient,
more fulfilled,
happier,
more content,
energized by
my submission.

I love submitting to my husband.

I want to submit to my husband.

So after reading DV's post, I kind of realized 
that I have been fighting…not my submission,
but my obedience.

I've been very intentionally
fighting being obedient,
and that has put a strain on me.
I have been out of sorts, because
I'm fighting something that then
puts a strain on my submission which
then puts a strain on … me.

It's silly, but I fall into those old tapes
from childhood and forget that 
it's ok for me to be me, and that I 
need to embrace who and what I am.




16 comments:

  1. That's such a great post and very thought-provoking. It is true that obedience is action, although I would throw in there it involves our will too. Submission is our thoughts, with more to it than that. I think you touched on it when it is who we are...like part of our soul even. Thank you for the post! I think I shall be thinking on this a while today :) So glad you are feeling better too....this has been a epiphany of sorts! Hugs, petals

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His post was fabulous! They both involve our will, yes, I agree and I absolutely agree that it is way more complicated than how I boiled it down.

      I think submission is integral to who I am as well.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  2. Fiona,

    Excellent post. Most submissive females I know IRL are very strong people. One lady is the president of our local BDSM group.

    Do not worry about what other people think, be yourself and be happy.

    Big Hug,
    joey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do know that submission does not equate to weak…but those are the old tapes that I fight. I typically don't' worry about what other's think..though there are time ……

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  3. I have struggled with this at times....i need time to think about this. It does make perfect sense....submission is a part of who i am, so it is always there...sometimes just waiting.
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ya, it's an interesting thing to think about…where submission fits into our lives and how obedience fits in as well. Pondering, pondering =)

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  4. oh this is wonderful, thank you - making all sorts of sense to me too!

    I don't think there is anything inherently weak or wrong in submitting or submission, I do think it's wise to become aware of it, so you are acting intentionally and in full knowledge of what you are doing, and that choose to whom you submit with care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, kitten, I so agree…you MUST be careful. For me, it's part of TPE and I must trust, implicitly the person I give all of my power to.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  5. Don't you just love those light bulb moments!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sub mission and obedience... never really thought about there being a difference. Obedience, that's tough for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's interesting to think about. Thanks!

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  7. Sorry I'm a little late to the party, but...
    Thanks so much for the reference to my blog and post. I'm glad to know I could provide something to have to stop and think about. And even for me, as I said in my post, I hadn't really thought about this in to much depth until now myself. Thanks again!

    DV

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, No…thank you =)

      You made a difference … thank you.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete
  8. Wow. I could relate to this post. Obedience can be such a struggle for me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you could relate. When I read DV's post, it really spoke to me.

      hugs,
      fiona

      Delete

Thank you very much for sharing your comments. This blogland world has become so much more meaningful because of the conversations that y'all have with me through comments...REALLY!

I appreciate them all and will endeavor to answer EVERY comment if at all possible!

THANK YOU
-fiona